Whatever, Josh | ✔

Chapter One

IT'S NOT EVERYDAY you find the last guy you crushed on from high school is, now, your dorm mate. To be honest, I kind of expected my heart to be thumping ridiculously like it did when I first had a crush on him, but it doesn't, which, I guess, I'm fine with. Taking in Josh's appearance, I wonder even why I had a crush on him despite his brown shaggy hair and cute brown eyes, everything else about him sucks. Divulging into his light brown eyes, I follow its gaze to the exposed part of my shoulder, immediately pulling it up, a tint of embarrassment decked on my cheeks. I mentally add the pervert underneath Josh's name. 

"So can I come in now?" Josh heaves out a sigh, and I look up in shock at how deep his voice is. He makes eye contact with me and my heart skips a beat. 

He raises an eyebrow at me as I open my mouth. "Uh y-yeah, c'mon in." I force myself to make way for him to come inside the room, holding back the shock I still have from earlier. How much has Josh changed from the last time I saw him, I think to myself as I follow him inside. 

I can sense him taking in the environment of the dorm room since he stops for a second and I immediately regret spraying the whole room with my signature Velvet Romance fragrance. 

"Wow," he comments, sniffing the air, "you really decked up. This your first year, or something?"

Assuring myself it's not that much of a big deal, I inhale a breath of air. "Y-yeah, is that a bad thing?" My voice must've come out pretty aggressive because Josh widens his eyes in shock. "Sorry, I-I just, I thought you knew s-since you've seen me before, and," I take a moment to study Josh's expression, "never mind."

"If you're assuming that I remember you, I do―as the girl from my math class."

A sudden wave of madness washes over me. "So that's who you're going to classify me as? The girl from your math class?" My whole Sophomore year, I had had a huge crush on him, but he just classified me as the girl from his math class―how more stupid can I get with 'choosing' crushes?

"Yeah, I mean, that's who remember you as."

His words come out more like an insult, stinging me. "I have a name, you know."

"Yeah, I know, and that is..." 

His eyes search mine for an answer, and a sudden feeling of crying enters my mind. "Advika," I say, turning my back towards him, so that he won't see the tears falling from eyes. "My name is Advika, Josh." I don't care if I made him mad, or guilty, or anything, I'm just so embarrassed that the guy who I crushed on when I was sixteen barely even knows my name. But it doesn't matter, I remind myself. Your over him. I register that fact, nodding my head a little as I busy myself with unpacking my stuff.  

But if I'm over him, then why is my heart thumping so loudly?