Out of Step

xxiii. a real tutor

"Miss Bower," her Spanish teacher, Mrs. Cooper said, calling her over after class. Alana frowned. She was still upset about not being able to perform on Saturday, but that morning she'd been feeling especially optimistic. She hesitated, but Mrs. Cooper gestured her over. "Can I talk to you please."

With a small sigh, she turned and ducked between several students, catching Owen's eye as she passed by him.

The sound of the students gossiping grew quieter as the last student left the room. She could hear the other students passing by the room as they headed to their last class.

Mrs. Cooper waited for another minute putting down her pen and looking up at Alana before asking her first question.

"Are you okay, Alana?" she asked, a frown pulling her face down as she folded her hands over her lap. Alana had to frown at her question.

"Yeah, why?" Alana asked, her grip on her books tightening. She hated being asked if she was okay. If people were asking, then they obviously thought she didn't look okay and she probably wasn't okay. But nobody would ever say anything other than they were okay.

"You just seem.... More tired than usual...." Mrs. Cooper moved as though reaching for her pen but stopped herself. "And, I hate to say this and seem rude, but you've seemed moody. And moodier than a teenager should. And your grades are getting even worse."

She turned in her chair slightly, pulling out a several pieces of paper. The top one was the most recent test they'd taken, one that Alana had pulled at her hair while struggling through. On the top of the paper, in red and circled, was the number 58.

"You only got this high of a grade because I gave out partial credit for long answers," Mrs. Cooper said. "This is going to bring down your semester grade way too much. And you haven't even turned in the last two homework assignments."

Alana was nodding, whether in agreement or to show she was listening, it didn't matter.

"I thought you were going to get a tutor, Alana?"

Alana swallowed, opening her mouth to respond. "I did.... I mean, well I sorta did...."

Adjusting her books to one hand, she moved the other one up so she could rub at the side of her neck.

"May I ask who?" Mrs. Cooper asked, and Alana let out a small sigh, pinching the side of her neck slightly.

"Just.... Just another student."

"Can I have a name please?" Mrs. Cooper sighed. Alana had to force herself not to screw up her face.

"Um.... Emmett." Her voice dropped down to a whisper as she said the name and her teachers lifted her head slightly.

"Emmett Gray, from our class?" She asked and Alana gave a small quick nod. "Alana, I'm sorry, but he is not an acceptable tutor. I'm going to get in touch with someone I know. She used to be a teacher. I'll see if I can get her to meet you at school twice a week, okay?"

Alana was quick to protest, her mind whirring for an excuse. "Oh, no. I don't wanna make someone drive all the way he –"

"It's no worries. She's already tutoring two of my other students from different classes. Just let me know when your study halls are or if you'd rather meet her after school."

"Bu –" She tried again, only to be quickly cut off again.

"I really don't want to have to fail you." Mrs. Cooper moved her hands off her lap, crossing them over her chest. Alana sucked in her lips, her forehead squinting up.

"Right.... Okay, yeah." The hallway was silent now, everyone in their own classes. "Sorry."

"Do you have time to talk about this test right now?"

"Um, well actually I should be in my next class right now," Alana said glancing at the small clock on the computer screen. Mrs. Cooper followed her gaze and with a start realized the time.

"I didn't even hear the bell ring," she said, shaking her head and pulling out a late slip from the top drawer of her desk. "Your class is my last class of the day and sometimes I forget there is still another class after it."

Writing out the late slip, she tore it off, handing it to Alana and putting the rest back in her drawer. It squeaked as she closed it.

"We'll talk again tomorrow."

The minute she couldn't see the door to her Spanish class anymore, Alana stopped, her chest tight as she leaned against the white bricks of the wall. She was going to have to see an actual tutor.

"And maybe that's okay," she thought, setting her book and pass on top of the lockers. She took a deep breath and reached up to her hair, braiding it in an attempt to help calm herself a little.

By the time she finally walked into band, havingwalked slowly down the one hall to get there, she felt better about the wholething. It wasn't the worst thing to have a tutor and she'd be able to marchagain this weekend. It was as if her life was slowly getting back on track. 

09.22.2020 Still tired, but whatever. Bye.