" People hurt people all the time Aaron, and sometimes when your life is filled to the brim with hurt, you can't help but wait for things to start fall apart again. "
~ everything i used to love about you is what i hate the most about you now ~
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Sometimes I worry that I'll get myself killed by my own stupidity. I am a smart person, I just choose to follow my gut, but the thing with that is, if I don't like what its telling me, I'll pretend that a certain feeling doesn't exist.
It was physically draining to fight against every cell in my body that urged me to go to Michaels. Instead, I forced myself to stayed home, drinking glass after glass of wine. I am a very logical person, and even though I am highly emotional, I do a very good job at hiding it, perks of being an Aries.
So at times like this, times where I know I can be completely blinded by emotions, I shut my feelings off. Which is exactly what I did. As unhealthy and dangerous that is, it is and will always be one of the few things that keep me sane.
Since I only was left with my logical brain, I had come to the conclusion that I quit. I'll move, steer clear of any and all relationships and get a good boss.
I think I would feel better about that decision if I was drunk, but my body wouldn't allow it. Sometimes I hated the fact that I had a very high alcohol tolerance. A fast metabolism. The few times I wanted to get drunk or even a little tipsy, I couldn't. It was one of the most annoying things about me. Just once in awhile I needed to be drunk, this is one of those times, but no, that would be too easy.
Subconsciously I hear heavy footsteps outside coming up down the hallway before an assertive knock sounds on my front door, gaining my attention. I set down my 9th glass of wine, before looking through the peephole. I scrunch my eyebrows together in confusion when nothings there, my tan hand reaching for the door nob. Although right before I turn it the person knocks again, giving me there identity.
I jump away from the door, my face growing pale. I let my eyes trail over to the time making me scoff in disbelief. What the fuck does he want? It's 1 am.
Michael knocks on my door again, drawing my attention back to it. Making sure the locks are working. I look around my empty apartment, shaking my head sadly. I had just moved in so that made moving out easier. In fact, I had one bag of stuff that belonged to me. The rest was crap Michael had bought so I would be the perfect girlfriend.
I grab my keys off my kitchen counter before downing my wine and setting it back down on the coffee table. Picking up my bag from in front of my couch, I knock on my neighbors door that was connected to mine.
Mackenzie opens it after a couple seconds, confusion on her face, "What's wrong Francesca?" she asks, her child like voice bringing a smile to my face.
Mackenzie was a sweetheart, always telling me I did good on the news in the morning or watering my plants when I was out of town on a story. We were acquaintances but nothing close to friends, I was to closed off for that.
