TORRES' POV:
Ellie and I were trying for a year now. Every month, I could hear the pain in the "Son of a bitch" that Ellie screamed from the bathroom when she saw she got her period. Since being on your period is hard, imagine when you're wishing for a baby and it's the first thing that tells you you're not pregnant. I'm not a girl, but I understand the pain she's going through.
This time Ellie was late, but...
"SON OF A BITCH!" I heard her scream from the NCIS bathroom.
Jimmy probably heard the scream down in autopsy.
McGee and Gibbs both looked at me, they knew we were trying and had sorry looks on their faces.
Ellie got out of the bathroom and walked really, really fast towards the stairs.
I looked at Gibbs for an approuval to go with her, which he immediatly gave me.
"El?!" I said entering the stair case.
"I'm sorry." She said not looking up at me.
"It's not your fault El." I said hugging her.
"I told you I was late, I'm sorry, I should've wait a little longer."
"El... It's not-"
"Maybe it is! Maybe we should get tested to see if we can have kids."
"Yeah, we can do that. Want me to take the appointement?"
"Yes... but ask Gibbs first when we can both leave the office at the same time."
"Yeah..." I said playing with her hair.
"I'm sorry Nick... I know you're hurting."
"Don't worry. Whatever happens we'll go through it. Together."
"Yes..."
"I love you El."
"I love you too."
We kissed and got back to the bullpen.
Jack was now there and they understood to act like nothing happened.
A week later, we got an appointement.
"We'll call you tomorrow in the afternoon. Uh- do we call both of you or-"
"No, just call me." Said Ellie. She was certain she couldn't have kids and she wanted to have the supposed news first.
The next day, Ellie got the call. She went behind the stairs. After a few minutes...
"NOOOO!.... Noooo!" She screamed.
I ran to her and she was on her knees crying like I never saw her cry.
"El, El, El... shhsh..."
"I- I can't-" she sobbed in my arms.
"I know... I know El... it's okay..." I said crying with her.
She couldn't have kids.
GIBBS' POV:
Jack and Vance both run in to see Ellie and Nick crying on the floor and McGee in the bullpen who was also crying for them.
They came to me.
"Who?" Asked Vance.
"You mean which one of them?" Asked Jack.
"Same thing." He said looking at her.
"Bishop." I said turning back to my desk. "Don't talk to her for now Jack, she'll come when she's ready."
"I know..." She said looking at them.
"Him neither, they're gonna need time."
"I know Jethro." She said heading to her office.
"Once they come back, tell them they have the week off." Ordered Vance.
"Will do."
After around ten minutes they came back.
"Go home, you guys have the week off."
"Thanks Gibbs." Said Torres sniffing a little. Ellie didn't even react. It was gonna be hard.
TORRES' POV:
"It's time to run!" Said Ellie waking me up.
"El... I know you're coping but- it's 5 AM, don't you wanna rest for a bit? You almost didn't sleep since-"
"Since I ruined our- your life. I know. That's why I run." She said with a fake smile on her face.
"Ellie..."
"I don't want to cry anymore Nick, we have two more days without work, so I'm gonna enjoy those."
"WHAT ABOUT ME!?"
"Wh-"
"I want to cope, I need you for that, but you won't talk about it. I need my wife El."
"I'm sorry, what do you want to do? Throw things on the ground? We can-"
I kissed her for her to shut up.
"I want to hug you, to feel that you're still here, to know that you're still my girl."
"BUT I'M NOT! OKAY!? I'm not..." She said tearing up. "I ruined everything Nick, and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to make it up to you."
"Ellie you didn't ruin anything. It's not your fault you can't carry a kid. You don't have to make it up to me. You- we can still have a kid."
"You're willing to adopt?"
"I'm willing to do whatever it takes to have a family with you okay? I'll do everything." I said hugging her.
"I- can we wait a little before adopting? I- I think I need to get it over with..."
"We'll take all the time we need babe."
"Thank you... I love you."
"I love you too El."
I said kissing her.
"Do you want to go and talk to Sloane tomorrow?" I asked.
"Uh- It's gonna make it really real..."
"I know, but maybe it's what we need."
"Yeah..." she said curling up on my side.
SLOANE'S POV:
Nick had come to me twice since they found out. He was doing better as the time past.
I didn't see Ellie the whole week they had off. Until she came.
"Hi Jack." She said standing at the door.
"Hey! I didn't know you were coming back today I thought-"
"I'm not... do you have time?"
"Yes of course! Sit down."
"Thank you."
"So, how do you feel."
"Like crap. I feel like I ruined his life. I- I should've know, or I don't know..."
"Bishop, it's not your fault-"
"Except it is..."
"What do you mean?"
"I got into a car accident at the NSA, they said I had a small chance that it'll keep me from having kids since the damage were big. But they weren't on my uterus so they said I had a lot of chances to get pregnant. At the time Jake didn't want kids, so I didn't ask for the test. But I should've done it when we talked about it with Nick but I forgot like I can barely see the scar of the accident and it slipped out of my mind. I don't know how to tell him that it's my fault he can't have kids..."
"Ellie, he'll understand, they tell you that right after surgery?"
"Yes why?"
"Then it's normal you didn't remember, it was a long time ago, a different you. But now you can tell him and he'll help you. Because carrying this on your own is big, too big."
"Yeah you're right..."
We talked for an hour or so and then she went home.
TORRES' POV:
I was cooking when Ellie got home from her talk with Jack.
"Hi babe!" I said going to see her.
But something was off. She was as pale as a sheet like she saw a ghost.
"El?"
She ran to the bathroom and threw up.
"Hey, it's okay..." I said holding her hair.
"I have to tell you something..."
"Anything El, I'll always be here."
"I knew I had a slight chance I couldn't have kids..." she said tearing up.
"What do you mean?" I asked hugging her.
"I got into a car accident at the NSA..."
"Oh I didn't know..."
"They said I had a small chance that it'll keep me from having kids since the damage were big. But they weren't on my uterus so they said I had a lot of chances to get pregnant. At the time Jake didn't want kids, so I didn't ask for the test. Then I forgot about it since it was right after I woke up that they told me this. And when I took the test I remembered. I should've told you I'm so sorry..."
"Hey, it's okay, are you better now from the car crash? Do you feel any pain?"
"No?"
"Then that's what matters babe. I get that you forgot it was a long time ago."
"I'm so sorry!" She said crying on my shoulder.
"It's okay... I love you."
"I love you so, so much."
