5sos boyxboy oneshots

Malum // The Ghost Of You by My Chemical Romance

{{may be triggering}}

"At the end of the world. Or the last thing I see. You are never coming home, never coming home. Could I? Should I? And all the things that you never ever told me and all the smiles that are never ever..."

Third person p.o.v

Michael and Calum were best friends, pretty much inseparable. They had everything in common and rarely fought. Even if they did, it was over something pointless. Then everything slowly started to change. Michael became more secluded and often turned down offers of hanging out with Calum. Calum never knew why, Michael still seemed very happy. When they were at school, Michael would always make jokes and laugh with others. He never seemed depressed. There were times where Michael wouldn't talk much, but those days were rare. Calum never knew about what was happening in Michael's home life. Michael's mom would either ignore her son or reducible him for every little thing. His dad left before he was born, so that just added to his pain. Michael tried to be happy at school to try to forget the pain hidden inside him. Calum didn't know that though. He tried his hardest to forget what him and Michael used to be. He tried to forget their experimental kisses late at night, the loving touches they used to share, the late night talks about anything and everything. Calum decided to only talk to Michael at school, thinking maybe Michael just wanted some space, not realized what the consequences of that were. He didn't think that Michael would cut himself. He didn't think that Michael would kill himself. But he was wrong. This torture unknowingly went on for three years until Michael decided to end it.

>>

"My life is not going anywhere. It would be so much easier to end it. I don't even fucking care what you think. There's nothing good out there for me, I know it. I hate everything, and I just want to end it. I'm just so angry, you know? I'm always trying so hard to get people to want to be around me, but they just don't. People only talk to me when it's convenient for them. My entire family fucking hates me. All of my friends don't give a shit about me. I'm done.

Mom- I'm sorry for not being a good son. I'm sorry for being a burden. I'm sorry for not being good enough. I'm sorry for never saying 'I love you'. I couldn't, because it wasn't true. I wanted to love you, but I couldn't. I'm so sorry. Now you can be happy with me finally gone.

Calum- Thank you for being my friend. You were always there for me when I needed you most. Thank you for everything you've ever done for me. I know I never said this enough, but I love you. I really love you, Calum, so much. I don't know if you feel the same way about me, but I thought you needed to know. I'm in love with you. I love you more than a friend should love a friend. I love you the way a girl loves a boy, the way a husband loves his wife. When you said you loved me for the first time, I was so happy. I was happy even though you didn't love me the way I loved you. You always made me happy. But you deserve someone better. This is for the best, I promise. This is my choice. I want to be gone, and you should be happy for me. Don't grieve over me because I'm in a better place now. Goodbye, Calum. I love you so much.

>>

"I always knew Michael was extraordinary. He always wanted to be one step ahead of everyone else. He loved the satisfaction of winning. But of course, he was always friendly about it. Even though we used to bicker on rare occasions, we were inseparable. We used to do everything together. I remember when we used to watch the sky together, we used to watch the stars. Now I can't even look up at them because they make me wonder where he went. Knowing him, he went further than he was supposed to. But he was funny in that way. He was so curious about everything. He wanted to know how everything worked, and why it worked that way. He would always ask the most random questions. And I swear, he was an encyclopedia of, what some people would call useless, facts. Every word he spoke was beautiful, just like him. I would often find myself staring at him as he talked, watching how happy he looked when he talked about topics that sparked interest, and he would often use hand gestures to get his point across. He didn't think I loved him, but he couldn't be more wrong. I loved everything about that boy. Well, actually, I love everything about that boy. He was so unbelievably interesting and he seemed to be so full of life. You couldn't tell what was going on inside his head. It was a constant battle between good and bad, and it was too hard for him to handle. He was so strong though. Most people going through the same thing he was going through didn't last as long as he did. He was the one who laughed the loudest, I can't believe he was also the one to be the saddest. He would always try to brighten the mood with a joke every time he, or someone else, was sad. He didn't deserve this life. He was so indescribably wonderful. He was way too hard on himself. I just wish he loved himself even half as much as I love him." Calum recited his speech, voice faltering often.

It was all too hard for him. He was still in denial that his best friend was gone. He didn't want to believe he would never again be able to hold him. He couldn't handle it. But he knew he had to for Michael. He would do anything for Michael. That's what love is. If only Michael knew that.