Diluted

~11~

Ember pulled her knees to her chest as she sobbed silently to herself.

She quickly wiped her tears and tried to pull herself together.

Jim left to go grab some groceries and a drink with his friends from slipknot.

As soon as Jim left Ember started feeling lonely. She hates the fact that she feels like this. She doesn't want Jim to thinks she's clingy.

She just can't help it. When Jim's gone or even when she's not with her friend Leah she feels alone and she realizes she doesn't have many friends.

She misses her hometown and her friends and family.

Ember lays down on the floor in Jim's apartment.

She looks up at the ceiling and allows the tears to pour down her face.

The people here are so jaded. She misses the warmth that she had in her hometown.

That familiar empty feeling fills her stomach as she sniffles.

"Why can't I make friends?" She mutters to herself.

"Why does no one like me? They all hate me!" Ember screams.

She rolls over face first and sobs into her arms.

She knows she's being over dramatic but she can't help it.

She hasn't been able to be confident here, every time she steps outside she feels uncomfortable. She feels like everyone's eyes are on her, judging her, hating her, tearing her apparent.

She knows no matter how hard she tries to be tough they can smell her weakness.

She tries to have an open mind and to pretend like nobody is judging her but she can't help but feel attacked.

She walks into Jim's bedroom and crawls into bed.
She wraps herself in the sheets and buries her head into Jim's pillow.

She breathes in his scent and starts sobbing even more.

She knows Jim won't be gone for long but she can't help but miss his caring touch and his comforting words.

Ember misses her friends and her family.

But she knows the whole reason she moved here is to run away from her problems so she doesn't want to run away from them again.

Ember runs her hand though her hair as she sighs.

She should have gone with Jim when he offered but she didn't want to seem clingy.

"Why do I have to hide in my shell? Why can't I find myself?" Ember cries to her self.

"Why can't I make friends?" Ember asks herself.

Ember lets out a sob as she realizes that she probably doesn't even know how to make friends.

Ember's at the point where she knows it's not her fault it's just the people around her. She can't help but feel attacked by them.
Their judging eyes. The way they look at her when they walk by, the way they whisper to their friends.

Ember pulls Jim's freakishly large pillow to her body. She wonders why it's so big.

She chuckles through her tears.

Suddenly she hears the sound of the front door open.

She wipes her tears quickly and pretends to be asleep.

"Ember? Are you here?" Jim's voice sounds through the house.

Ember hides her face in the pillow, she knows that if she speaks she'll sound broken.