𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 ( 𝐳𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 )

𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥

Maybe it was being surrounded by this many people but entering the listening party made Zayn nervous. It was a cozy room with flowers and couches and other surfaces to sit on. As soon as he entered he was handed a set of headphones connected to a music player which he accepted with a mild thank you, he was followed into the room by Trevor who didn't even bother to look at the girl handing out the headphones and just said a gruff, " no thank you." As if he was trying to make it clear he had no interest in being here.

Zayn wasn't gonna let that ruin his excitement for the evening ahead. He was out of the house, doing something he wanted to do albeit with Trevor but it was an actual activity he wanted to be a part of and it wasn't just him running at the opportunity of being out even for a coffee with Trevor. Zayn found himself a seat in a corner of the room and tried to put as much distance as he could between him and Trevor who was standing off to the side against a wall casting a bored glance on everyone around.

It was almost as soon as Zayn started listening to Cherry, which was the first song playing that he knew he was going to love the album; that it was going to provide solace in times when he felt so alone that he felt himself sinking in on himself. He knew this album would help him deal with a lot and he was instantly grateful for an album that wasn't even writen about him.

While Cherry told the story of Harry's lost love and spoke of his reminiscences Zayn's heart ached because he almost couldn't believe love like that existed, he had forgotten what it was like to love and be loved and to have the freedom to move on when the love wasn't there anymore. He was so lost in his inner musings that he almost didn't realise that Harry Styles himself had walked into the room. He couldn't miss it though cause the people in the room instantly began to scream, everyone baring him and Trevor; him because he didn't know what his voice sounded like at an octave that high anymore or if his throat was even capable of producing a happy sound and Trevor because he just couldn't be bothered.

Harry sat next to a fan listening to the music and listened with her, he moved seats around quite a bit and had little interactions here and there. Zayn tried to maintain his distance cause he had an idea of the shit storm this could turn into if Trevor saw him talking to anybody.

Even from a distance however there was a comfort about Harry, he didn't carry himself like an unreachable millionaire superstar, while you could definitely tell he was from looking at his clothes there was a familiarity to him. He exuded support, patience and love, his eyes were kind. He didn't look at himself as being above everyone else in the room. He was genuine. There was something about Harry that made Zayn want to ask for help for the first time in three long years. He had never thought he deserved the treatment Trevor meted out to him but he didn't understand what he could do about it, didn't ever find anyone that made him feel like they could take him home, take him back to the boy he used to be before his life turned itself on it's head. He saw a potential friend in Harry which was ridiculous, Harry was so beyond his reach but somehow in this room he felt like the last thing left in the world that could help him.

Zayn felt almost desperate, he had to let Harry know somehow. He didn't even know where to start or what to say or how to approach this; over and above the fact that his physically couldn't talk to Harry with Trevor in the room and not make a scene. There was a notepad sitting on the desk next to where he was, he would have thought what he was about to do was absolutely ridiculous not even considering the fact that even if Harry did see this little note he might just disregard the whole thing. But this was the end of Zayn's rope, this was the last time he was gonna hope for help before he gives up all together.

Please, please help me.
~Zayn.

He wrote in the little piece of pastel pink paper and looked up to see if Trevor's eyes were on him. He was looking down at his phone seeming quite occupied, Zayn took the chance to slip out the sketch he had made and stick the note onto the painting and quickly slip it back in.

He had done all of this with Harry's beautiful voice still crooning in the headphones he had on and maybe his voice provided the much needed stability his hands needed to get all of that done. Zayn had to admit his mind had wandered and although Harry's songs were beautiful from what he could hear he hadn't completely paid attention the whole time and now the set seemed to be coming to an end. He looked up to check on Trevor one more time, just in time to see him slip out a box of cigarettes and step out. This was his chance, he quickly got off of where he was sat and walked over to where Harry was standing taking a few pictures with fans, he didn't want to barge forward so he waited while being very aware that his time was running out. As he made it to Harry he heard him say, " Hello, would you like a picture?" In the nicest tone anyone had directed towards him in a long time. With his eyes still on the floor he shook his head and instead handed the envelope he had in his hand to Harry while looking up to meet his eyes. Harry looked up from the envelope just handed to him and smiled, " Sick, did you make something?" And Zayn nodded. Harry seemed to have noticed something then and looked into his eyes with an intensity that made him uncomfortable and his dimpled smile slowly slipped off. Harry looked at him with what looked like worry but he was sure he must have been imagining it. Zayn attempted a slight smile and Harry smiled back at him only his smile wasn't nearly as bright as it had been seconds ago and Zayn hated that. He felt an arm roughly grab his and turn him around and before he could really process what was going on he was being dragged out of the room by Trevor. He turned around just as he was out the door to see Harry still staring at him holding the envelope in his hand which was now down by his side.

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Harry hadn't expected to come out of that listening party with his mind completely occupied, he had expected to go in and have a good time with his fans like he'd done in Paris and Amsterdam, he hadn't expected this at all. After the mysterious boy had left he took a few more pictures and spoke to a few more people a little guilty cause he wasn't all there. Being led out the back door and into his car his mind was still buzzing with the image of the boy. He was beautiful for sure. He was small and looked like he needed to be shielded from the world, he had beautiful dark hair, eyelashes anyone would be jealous of and deep brown eyes.

Although beautiful, his eyes held a deep sadness; Harry had been nearly struck backwards by it when he looked into his eyes earlier. The boy hadn't said a word but his eyes had said a lot owever Harry couldn't quite understand no matter how much he tried. Then there was the way he had been dragged away by that man. The grip on his arm looked harsh and painful but the boy barely even flinched. He had let the man all but pull him away.

Once in the car he finally had the time to open the envelope the boy had handed to him, he tried to do it as delicately as possible almost as if everything the boy owned was as fragile as he looked. He slipped out what seemed to be an artist's parchment from inside the envelope and once his eyes adjusted in the dim lighting of the car he gasped. He was holding a portrait of himself and yes over the years he had been given a lot of fan art but this one was special. Just the way the pencil had been used bestowed an ethereal beauty onto Harry that he was sure he did not actually possess.

There was something else, at the bottom left corner there seemed to be a little pink sticky note and he brought it closer to his eyes so he could clearly see what it seemed to say. He hadn't really expected to read what he did and when he had his heart sank.

Please, please help me.
~ Zayn.