Black and Blue | Markmin

𝚃𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚏𝚒𝚟𝚎.

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: depression, anxiety, violent intrusive thoughts (if you are in a bad mental state pls message me and I can always sum up the chapter for you)⚠️

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Mark let out a tired sigh, throwing his arm over his head as his skull seemed to explode from pain. His headaches were always the worst, maybe a family history of migraines.

It wasn't just the headache either. It always had to be a bunch of things crumbling and sticking together that drove Mark over the edge.

Not only had he had a bad day in school, courtesy of his failed science test and a lecture from the teacher about previously skipping class, but Jaemin had seemed nervous and on edge about something. This had immediately put Mark on edge, his thoughts whirling with the idea that maybe someone had found out.

It had been a week since Jisung had found out that Jaemin and he were soulmates. A week since Mark had cuddled Jaemin and had spent a nice morning and afternoon with the younger at Yuta's shop.

So maybe it was the beginning of December that was throwing him off.

Of course, along with environmental stressors, Mark was having a bit of trouble tonight mentally. He let out another sigh, shifting endlessly on his stiff mattress and under his itchy sheets as he tried to get comfortable.

Suddenly and unexpectedly an image of him stabbing himself in the leg with a knife popped into his head and he had to resist the urge to laugh. Why the hell would be want to do that? And yet it was tempting, tantalizing even, to maybe just try it.

It was something that Mark struggled with, although he wasn't entirely sure what "it" was. He found himself, more often then not, driven to do dangerous and harmful activities. Whether it just be letting himself get pulled into fights or other violent thoughts that he sometimes felt pulled to act on.

He shifted again, his vision blurring and pain throbbing against his head. He reached over to his nightside table and grabbed his water bottle, sitting up with much effort to try and fight off the headache.

Mark took the time to glance at the clock which read 2:58. Almost 3am. His bare arms tingled against the cold of his room and he shivered slightly. Maybe going for a walk would help him to clear his head.

He shivered as he swung his leg over the edge of the bed, this time not from the cold. Instead, from habit, as his mind urged him to hurt himself. To do anything to himself. But why? Why would he want to do that? Mark groaned and bent over, clutching at his head.

Damn Mark cursed and stood up, not bothering to grab anything before walking out of his room, down the hallway, and out into the bitter cold. His bare arms and legs stung from the low degree air but Mark couldn't bring himself to care as he walked with determination down the street.

Before long he found himself in front of Renjun's house, shivering violently but cursing aloud when he saw Renjun's parents car parked in the driveway. He turned around then, already knowing that he couldn't go to Yuta's because the older was going on another date.

Mark's bare feet were already racing against the pavement before he made up his mind. He ran down the street, briefly wondering if anyone had seen him and what they thought of a kid running down the street in the middle of winter with nothing but a t-shirt and shorts.

Crazy indeed.

That didn't deter Mark from his destination and before too long he found himself knocking rapidly on Na Jaemin's apartment door. He heard crashes and stumbled from inside, a moment passing before the door was wrenched open in front of him.