Supercut [ spencer reid x reader ] ✔️

XIII.

TW: spanking (caning), light degradation

"Spencer?"

Spencer lifts his head up from the paperwork at his desk, eyes landing on Morgan. He gives him a half-hearted smile, setting down his pen that he wasn't even using.

"You alright? Pretty sure you've been staring at your paperwork for, like, fifteen minutes and haven't written anything."

Spencer's eyes flick back to his paperwork before looking back up at Morgan. "I'm just tired, I guess."

Worry flashes through Morgan's eyes for a moment. "Are you sure, kid?"

Spencer nods. "I'm sure, Morgan."

In reality, Spencer is tired. Physically and mentally. Spencer gets up from his chair, pushing the glass doors open and walking to the bathroom. He opens the bathroom door, standing in front of the mirror, hands gripping the edge of the counter. He looks up at himself, breathing deeply before reaching into his pocket.

He looks down at the small, circular object in his hand. His NA chip. Ninety days. He'd gotten it yesterday. He runs his thumb over the metal surface of the chip, closing his eyes for a moment.

Yesterday, he was ninety days clean from Dilaudid. Ninety whole days without slipping away from reality. Ninety days without seeing the hallucinations he so desperately wanted to see.

The truth is: half the reason he took Dilaudid was for that reason—to slip away from his shitty reality. Elle had left—and she was his closest friend. Gideon is becoming distant. And for some reason, Spencer felt completely and utterly alone. And when he took Dilaudid he didn't feel alone anymore.

Because every time he felt the drug coursing through his veins, he was in California again. He would open his eyes and Y/n would be right there, sitting crisscross in front of him on her bed, her knees touching his. She looked the same as Spencer so clearly remembered—the image of her is carved into his brain. She would always smile and reach over to punch him gently in the arm.

"Shut up, brainiac," she'd say, her tone teasing.

And every time, Spencer would grab her hand, and even now, standing clean in the bathroom, he swears he can feel her hand in his. And that's why Dilaudid was so powerful for him—even almost six years later, he could still feel the way her skin felt against his.

Spencer opens his eyes, meeting his own gaze in the mirror. He blinks hard, trying to keep the tears at bay. He glances down at the NA chip in his hand again before shoving it in his pocket and washing his hands. He gives himself one last look in the mirror before pulling the bathroom door open, wanting to be anywhere but Quantico.

"Come on, Spencer, just one drink!"

You giggle as you look up at Spencer from your desk. Spencer looks at Prentiss, crossing his arms. He scrunches his nose as he thinks, biting the inside of his cheek.