Exo Baekhyun oneshots

It happens to guys too

Warning + disclaimer:
This one includes physical abuse, disclaimer is I am NOT trying to romanticise abuse and trauma, its not my intention, this is pure fiction and just something I randomly came up with.

Baekhyun's pov

"Why do you hate me so much? What
did I ever do to you?" Y/N yells at me and I can feel my body getting more and more tense. I don't hate her. I never did, but I still treat her poorly. I'm the bad guy here.
"I don't wanna talk Y/N, leave me alone" I mumble. I have my back turned towards her. I can only imagine the anger and or pain in her eyes I refuse to look at.
"Oh so you can just say this and that to me, but I can't demand an explanation? I feel like I deserve one" she yells. I try to contain myself. I take a deep breath and I turn around to face her. Like I expected. Painful look in her eyes that made me wanna punch myself.
I look down and tries to walk past her.
"HEY! don't just-" she grabs my arm and I lose it.
"I said leave me ALONE" I yell and I hit her right across the face. I froze instantly. I'm looking down at my hand that I just harmed her with, and back at her slightly touching her cheek. A small tear runs down her cheek.
"Y/N I.. I didn't-" I couldn't finish my sentence. It was like I didn't know how to finish it, even though the way is pretty obvious.
"I hate you.." she mumbles and it feels like a kick in the stomach.
"I.." Im trying to say something but no words wants to come out.
"No.. I hate you.. I HATE YOU" she yells, and walks away. It's like I forgot how to move, I was frozen completely in place. I look down on my hand again.
"I swore I would never be like her.. Im horrible" I mumble to myself. To avoid the tears I can feel peeking, I bite my lip very hard.

Y/N's pov

Im walking very fast into my room while I try my hardest to hold the tears back. Oh right I should probably explain this very quickly. I live in a big house with a bunch of guys, Baekhyun is one of them. We help each other out with bills that, at least most of us, wouldn't be able to pay on our own. I'm the only one without a job. I've been looking for a real job for quite some time now, I'm considering getting a random job so I can help paying for the bills, but Chanyeol,(the guy I'm closest with in the house) has told me multiple times, me helping with cleaning and cooking for them is "enough". I usually just roll my eyes, but still with a slight smile I try to hide but he always notices.
"Knock knock" I hear Chanyeol saying outside my door.
"Come in Chan" I mumble and he walks in.
"Hey.. you okay?" He asks and sits on my bed beside me. I look down, one part of me dont wanna cry and talk about it but the other part wants to do the exact opposite.
"Y/N? what happened?".
I bite my lip, desperately trying to hold my tears back.
"It's.. It's Baekhyun.." I mumble, still looking down and bites now my tongue. "Baek?.. oh no what did he do? Im sure he didn't mean any of it, he's a nice guy". Chanyeol always tries his best to convince me Baekhyun is a nice guy, and it has nothing to do with me the way that he behaves.
"Im not buying that anymore Chan.. Im sorry" I mumble and looks up at him. He covers his mouth in shock, my cheek is burning so he must've seen it.
"Oh fuck.. dont tell me..". Ive never seen Chanyeol look so disappointed.
I nod slightly.
"I couldn't take it anymore so I tried to get him to explain to me why he acts like such a dickhead towards me, but he just said he didn't wanna talk and when he tried to just walk away, I grabbed his arm and he hit me right across my face".
"Oh shit.. Y/N I don't know what to say.. I never thought he would do that" Chanyeol says his eyes are full of worry and disappointment.
"Well.. you thought wrong, the-" I didnt get to finish before I hear someone knocking on the door.
"Who is it?" I say but no one answers. At first I thought it would be Chen and Xiumin trying to make fun with me again, so I get up and opens the door.
"Guys it's not fu-". It wasn't Chen and Xiumin. It's Baekhyun. Looking down at the floor with his hands behind his back.
"Baekhyun? What are you-".
"I wanna talk.. can I come in? Please?" He mumbles and slightly looks at me with his soft looking puppy eyes, and despite me being furious with him I can't resist those puppy eyes of his.
I sigh and looks back at Chanyeol who had gotten up, and was on his way out of my room. Baekhyun looks up. His eyes goes back and forth between me and Chanyeol, he looks slightly annoyed for a second.
"I'll just.. I have to talk with Kyungsoo about.. some important stuff, talk to you later Y/N and Baek" he says, smiles at me and I smile back before he goes down stairs.
I look back at Baekhyun who looks annoyed.
"So.." I say and he looks up, instantly his eyes are filled with sadness. Fuck stop looking at me like that I think while his big brown eyes stares into mine.
"So.. could I come in?" He asks again and looks down.
"Sure.. come in" I say and opens the door a little more so he can walk in. He walks in, I do after and closes the door. When I turn around Baekhyun has sat down on my bed and is looking at me.
I sigh when I walk over to sit next to him, a little further away than I did with Chan.
"Why did you come here? Why did you wanna talk? Are you just gonna say 'sorry?' Or are you-".
"Woow wow wow wow way too many questions.." he says and a tiny smile is shown a few seconds.
"Right.. uhm.. you'd have to do more than just say sorry-".
"Im not here to apologise" he mumbles.
"I mean I am but not just that.. that's actually the smallest and least important part of why I'm here" he says and I just nod.
" Y/N.. I'm incredibly sorry.. for.. everything not just your cheek but also for being an asshole towards you, you don't deserve it" he mumbles and tries to keep eye contact with me, but it really seems like he'd prefer looking away.
I nod again.
"I hate myself for harming you, I swore I would never be like her.. but I am..".
"What are you talking about? Who?" I ask very confused.
"I'll explain to you why I've been acting like a dickhead towards you.." he mumbles.
"You.. you remind me of my ex".
"What? But I'm not her" I say and he looks at me.
"I know, but you look like her, you sound like her, you act almost the same as her, you have the same name.. only difference is.." a few seconds of silence occurs.
"You haven't done anything to me.. you're a good and honest person" he says.
"Done anything to you?.. what do you mean?.." I say almost whispers, I start to feel worried. Done something to him.. he doesn't mean..
He takes his hoodie off and shows me his arms. I let out a small gasp and covers my mouth. He has multiple bruises on both arms. He then shows me his shoulder that has slight scratches on it.
"Oh no.. is that from..".
He nods before I finish. He raises his hand and pokes his cheek.
"I had a few pretty visible scratches on one cheek, and a bruise on the other" he says and I bite my tongue, once again I'm feeling tears forming in my eyes.
"Why?.. why did you not..".
"Defend myself? Because I loved her" he says and I feel disgusted. Not by him, but the woman he was with.
"I was always taught to never hit a woman.. and even though it hurt a lot, I didn't do anything about it, again because I loved her and I never told anyone" he says.
I can't look him in the eyes.
"Whenever she would be in a bad mood and either throw things at me, hit me or kick me I would just think if I just let her take it out on me she'll get better faster and we can figure out how to be okay again, and every time when she wasnt angry anymore she would cry, and tell me how much she loved me and hated herself for what she did and her anger issues..". The more he talks, the more angry I feel.
"I, like the complete delusional dumbass I am, thought she meant it so I stayed with her even when she once threw hot water at me, I can't remember why but she was mad about.. something.. I would brush it off, I would lie to my friends about why I had so many bruises on my chest as well, those I just couldn't hide well enough.. when she threw something at me, can't remember what it was but I almost broke my nose, left a really bad bruise and when my friends noticed I told them I fell over something and because they know I'm kind of clumsy, they didn't question it after.. and- what are you-" I grab his hand, swings my other arm around his waist and lays my head on his chest.
"Y/N..".
"You didnt deserve that.. you had the rights to defend yourself.. if I knew all of this I should have..".
I give up on holding it back, and tears are floating down my cheeks.
"Y/N why are you crying?.." he asks. I tighten my grib around his waste and pulls myself closer to him.
"Bitch was using you like a punching bag.. and you didnt.. Im just so angry and sad.. you didn't deserve any of it Baek, you're not a bad person.. I now understand all of it.." I say quietly while crying. I feel his hand going into my hair, carressing my head slightly.
"Still not an excuse to treat you like I did.." he mumbles.
"No.. but, it's an explanation" I say.
"You're way too sweet, I don't deserve to be forgiven this easily.." he says and laughs a little. It's not a happy laugh, he's hurting.
"No shut up, its for me to decide if I forgive you or not.." I mumble. I look up at him, but he immediately looks away. I notice him biting his lip very harshly.
"You can cry.. its normal, we all have human emotions.." I say to him quietly.
"Im not.. Im not crying, I hate.. crying" he tries to speak normally, but he's not fooling me.
"Baek its fine.. its just you and me here.." I start hugging him tightly.
"Y/N why are you.. I dont want to.. fuck I hate this..".

I look up at him, he's covering his mouth, and his eyes are shut tightly.

"Baek?.." I whisper, and tears slowly starts running down his cheeks, only making me cry more, yes that's actually possible.

"I hate this Y/N.. I hate this and I hate myself and.." he mumbles.

"shh it's alright.. Please don't hate yourself". I bury my face in his chest, and just let's him get it all out.

"What were you and Chanyeol talking about btw?" he asks quietly.

"Hm? nothing just.." I look up at him again slightly, his eyes are all red from crying.

"Nothing?..".

I place my face on his chest again and mumbles,

"I was talking about you.. I was upset because of.. you know.. why is it bothering you so much?".

"I mean.. we could have talked about it.. you didn't have to go to Chanyeol or anyone else of the guys in the house.." he mumbles. When I look up he's looking away, and I'm not sure if his cheeks are red from crying, or blushing.

"Baek you're not..?" I start out.

"What?" he looks at me.

"Jealous? why would I be jealous.. I mean you don't have anything with any of them.. you don't right?".

I'm having a hard time not smiling, so I look away.

"Why are you smiling? *sniff* Y/N? You are not with Chanyeol right?" he almost sounds desperate now, and I let out a slight quiet laugh.

"And now you're laughing, what is-".

I'm not letting him finish, I put my hand behind his neck and kisses him. He seems surprised at first, but when I try to pull away he grabs my head and presses my lips back on to his.
His lips feels so soft.
"You didn't just kiss me bc you feel bad for me right?" He mumbles when he pulls away slightly.
I shake my head.
"I mean I would be lying if I said that I don't feel bad for you but.. no that's not why I kissed you" I said. He's not smiling, but he seems to feel a little less terrible.
"If you want it.." I lay my head against his shoulder.
"I can love you right, you deserve to be loved, actually loved".
"Love me?". I look up at him.
I nod.
"Yeah.. Im so sorry for what has happened to you.. you didn't deserve it.. and I'm sorry if I sound harsh here but.. she never loved you, you don't hurt the person that you love the way that she did, never".
I see a slight smile, but he looks away.
"I deserve to be loved? Really loved? What is it even? I always thought she loved me, but if she didn't.. I dont know what actual love is.. and I don't believe I deserve it", when he looks back at me his eyes looks watery again, and the slight smile is gone.
Despite that, I smile at him and says,
"Well you do, I'll show and prove to you that I can love you the right way".
I kiss him and I feel the slight smile on his lips when he kisses back.