To Be So Lonely

12

Elowen could not stop crying.

It almost seemed as if everything she been bottling up for the past couple of years simply came spilling out in exhausting shivering sobs.

"I-I'm so sorry," she tried to stop the tears, but they didn't seem to have an end. Professor Lupin sat on the edge of his desk simply observing the poor girl. She sat on his chair wiping away the tears with a wet hand. Lupin had dismissed Harry the moment he woke up. Harry had wanted to linger when he saw how hard the girl was crying, he had never seen anybody cry so hard before.

"Eat it, come on. It'll make you feel better," The professor encouraged signaling to the chocolate bar that she had been holding in a hand. She obeyed and took a small bite.

How mortifying was this. Crying in public and worst of it in front of a professor. She didn't want to burden him with his emotions. He probably had better things to worry about.

"I feel like there's a lot to unpack here Ms. Saintday," Lupin spoke in a calm voice. "First and foremost - Who did this to you?"

She remained silent as fewer tears sliding down her face.

"Nel," Lupin licked his lips. Despite her silence he was patient. "If you want me to help you, you have to cooperate with me. As a professor I have to report this. I can give whoever did this to you detention."

It was sweet of Professor Lupin to want to make things right, but a petty detention wouldn't do it. She was going to make them suffer just as much as they had made her suffer.

"Unless, of course, you'd rather take this up with Professor Snape."

Merlin. No. Snape would probably make Nel clean toilets for the rest of the year for this. Of course, it would only be a matter of time before Snape and the rest of Hogwarts found out just what had happened at the Three Broomsticks.

"I'll take care of it professor," she mumbled.

At this point she didn't care if she was cursed. She was sick and tired of those Slytherin bastards. She was sick of being looked down upon. She was sick of being told she didn't belong in the house. Of being the misfit the class. To make matters worse she felt so stupid and more than anything naïve forever trusting Malfoy. The arsehole probably didn't even know who had abandoned her in the abbey to begin with.

"Did they hurt you?" he asked concerned.

She remained silent. He could see the hurting reflected in her expression. The lust for vengeance that blazed in her dark eyes. She had spent the entire trip back to Hogwarts plotting the horrible things she would do to those boys. She'd make them with they were dead. She thought dramatically.

"Vengeance is not always the solution Nel. Fighting fire with fire is not going to solve anything," he said wisely. "Vengeance both poisons and drains the soul," he advised.

She fought the urge to scoff at his words. Of course, Lupin wouldn't understand. With his kind smiles, chocolates and easy nature. What would Lupin know about vengeance? The scars on his body made her want to think otherwise but his nature was contrasting to his rough appearance.

"I couldn't help it professor. They made me so angry. I was so, so angry. I was so embarrassed. I didn't even realize when - I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew. Everything blew up and everything and everyone was on fire," her voice cracked as she spoke.

Lupin gathered her ragged appearance and her words and her words and putting two and two together put together an idea of what had happened. He had a feeling it wouldn't be long before found out.

"Does this happen to you a lot?" Lupin leaned down so that he was at eye level with his student. Magical outbursts induced by rage... His eyes focused on the moles that doted her face. There was something odd about them. He couldn't help but wonder if...