To Be So Lonely

15

No surprise, Gryffindor had won the House Cup again this year. As always Dumbledore's favoritism never ceased to surprise Slytherin House.

It had been a couple of days since Sirius Black escaped the clutches of the Dementors. She wouldn't have hesitated in telling on Harry to get Black into her claws again, but then again, she was involved. She'd get into as much trouble if she even croaked about what had happened. Malfoy hadn't gone to chew off his father's ear too, so she assumed his thought process was about the same.
Professor Lupin had also been missing since that full moon night. Nel was currently on way to visit him in his office since he had been back for a couple of days. She had to discuss whatever - She flashed back to the sinister birds that emitted from the tip of her wand that same night. The horrible feeling that they brought; how cold they made the air feel – her Corrupted Patronus or those things were...

The door to Lupin's office was open. She peered in wondering if he was inside and saw him standing over a battered suitcase packing what looked like to be the last of his books. His entire office had been swept clean out of any and all of his belongings.

"Ah, Elowen," He said without turning around with his back to her. She jumped a little started at his acknowledgement of her presence. He finally turned and smiled at her through haggard eyes. His face and exposed skin all branded by new cuts and scars. She was unable to disguise her shock at the professor's injured appearance.

"I've looked worse, believe me," he half smiled at her shock.

The desk drawers were all open, the bookshelves bare. Was he leaving?

"You're leaving?" She wondered out loud. Her heart beginning to drop.

"I've resigned actually," he said flicking his wand and shutting his suitcase close.

"But- you can't leave!" She protested. "Resigned? Why? You're the best Defense Against the Dark Arts professor we've ever had!" She fully stepped into the office. Lupin couldn't leave. He was one of the few professors she actually enjoyed spending time with. He was kind, he actually cared, or at least he seemed to...

Lupin took in a deep breath and sighed sounding drained. He pondered for a moment if he should reveal what he really was to the student or not. She'd find out in a couple of days regardless.

"I suffer from a very particular condition. A condition which I'm afraid will make parents not want – someone like me – teaching their children." His gaze lowered to the floor in what Nel interpreted to be shame.

"What do you mean someone like you? So far, we've had an idiot and Voldemort as our professors. What on Earth could be worse?" He blinked twice surprise at her mentioning of the Dark Lord's name so boldly. She hadn't even noticed that the name had slipped.

"I suffer from lycanthropy and it seems someone has let slip the nature of my condition."

She was struck by his admission and couldn't help but feel a burdening sense of guilt. All of this time she had misjudged him, she had labeled him as someone who knew nothing about a painful existence when he was actually werewolf. She still remembered the words he had once said to her: "Because like you, I know what it's like to want to be something else." Everything made sense now. His frequent absences that at the time seemed random but weren't. The scars. How was it that a man living with a condition which would often make victims beg to be dead could be so kind? How could he smile with such ease?

"Who?" She demanded to know. Nostrils flaring eyes becoming glassy. It wasn't fair. He didn't have to leave.

"Whomever, it was bound to get out. This time tomorrow owls will be arriving. It's best if I'm gone before then."