Discovered

Memoried and Broken Hearts

Remus entered my room a little after midnight.

"You shouldn't be here." My voice cracked.

"Why not?" He said wounded.

"Because you love her, and I won't let you throw that away." I looked him in the eyes.

"Eris....I can't....She's to..."

"To young, you're to old. To much whatever excuse you want to use to deny how you feel." I rolled my eyes.

He chuckled, "perhaps you're right."

"I know I am." I smiled at him.

The half moon's light shown through the window giving everything an eerie glow. I hate this place. I hate it even more with Sirius gone.

"What are you thinking about?" Remus joined me at the window leaving the door open.

"Sirius. The others. You." I answered solemnly.

"It wasn't your fault." He frowned at me.

"I...I know." A tear slipped down my cheek. "I just feel like I could have done more."

"All more would have done is killed you too." He pushed a piece of chocolate into my hand.

I smiled sadly at it. "Thanks." He patted my shoulder before exiting the room.

The cold and the dark were suffocating. The shadows moved like secret monsters roaming the lands looking for their next meal. I moved from the window deciding it was better to be in the safety of my covers.

Ghost hopped on the bed snuggling close to me. I stroked his white fur. Nothing is going the way I planned. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes.

"Room for one more?" Severus' voice came from the doorway.

"There's always room for you." I smiled slightly.

The moonlight shown on him like a stage spot light. Scars covered nearly every inch of him. Some are thing barely visible. Others are thick raised on his skin. Constant reminders of what he's put himself through all these years.

His tattoo writhed in the moonlight. I frowned at it. What would he be like if he had chosen a different path back then? Would Harry have stood a chance if he did?

His warm body comforted me making the shadows seem less sinister. I'll save you Severus. I swear to you if it's the last thing I do I will save you.

"Stop thinking about it." He chastised pulling me closer.

He was gone when I woke up. He always was, but that pang of sadness gets me every time. I wanted nothing more than keep him safe.

Molly's boisterous voice called for breakfast downstairs. Despite not wanting to leave my bed I knew better. Molly would come drag me down kicking and screaming if that's what it took to make sure I had a good meal.

Everything is solemn in the house. Sirius brought so much joy to this place without realizing it. My heart broke at the sight of Harry. He'll always blame himself for this. I guess that's something we'll have in common.

"Come now children," Molly tried to sound like her usual upbeat self, "it's time to go get your things for school."

We all shuffled silently to the door. Using the floo system was out of the question at this point. The shopping trip was quick and mostly painless.

I don't want to go back. I nearly laughed at myself. Since the day I read The Chamber of Secrets I have wanted to be apart of the wizarding world. Now that I've seen first hand what it costs I want to tuck tail and run. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. As discreetly as I could I wiped them away.