Chapter 4 | Caleb

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"I did it. I broke up with Josh."

Sabrina turns to look at me wide eyed. "What? Why?"

"You know I'm you know what," I say in a whisper. "I don't want him getting into the middle of all of this. He deserves someone much better."

She looks at me suspiciously for some reason. "You're not upset? Your taking the break up with Josh surprisingly well."

I'm actually surprised at that too. "I am hurting. Iim just not hurting as much as I thought I would be." I'd thought that my breakup with Josh would be the end of the world. Instead it's the beginning of a new life for someone.

"When are you going to tell your parents?" This hasn't crossed my mind. When will I tell them? Eventually I'll start to show.

"I can't tell them. They'll freak out if I tell them."

"You have to tell them." She looks around to make sure nobody's hearing and whispers, "Unless you're not going to have the baby."

I hadn't considered that. To be honest I'd haven't considered anything. What about college? School? Will I have to get a job? "No. No I'm going to have it, I just. It's just still surreal. What about the father?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. First let's focus on telling your parents."

"We are at that bridge." I whisper loudly. I lower my voice when I realize that. "We are at that bridge. When my parents ask who that father is after they freak out and I say I don't know, they'll freak out even more. I'll probably be grounded to I'm twenty-one or something."

Sabrina replies by saying, "They won't ground you until your twenty-one. Sure they'll be really mad at first but eventually they'll get used to it, I'm sure."

I look at her. Her blonde hair put up in a loose ponytail, her bright blue eyes, her face almost perfectly symmetric. This would have never happened to her. She would have been carful. She was careful. A tear starts coming out from my right eye and I wipe it away so nobody would notice. I ruined my whole life. I'm just fifteen. I had my whole life ahead of me and I ruined it.

Sabrina notices the horrified expression on my face. She puts her hand on my shoulder and says, "Don't cry. We'll get through this. One step at a time." Sabrina is my anchor. She is the one who is going to get me through your this. She is my best friend.

I look around the cafeteria. The father could be any one of these guys. I could see the nerds of in one corner debating over something. The jocks in the table next to us being competitive and loud as usual. The artists at the other end of the cafeteria drawing in their notebooks and so on. It could be any of these guys yet none of them look guilty. None of them have an expression on their face as if they did something wrong.

"Who are you looking for?" Sabrina asks looking around as well.

"Just wondering who the father could be. Wondering when the baby is born if he looks more like me than his dad or vise versa. Wondering who could have done such a thing." I say the last part in disgust. In anger. But part of me is angry at myself too. How could I have let this happened?

Sabrina, like always, is great at reading my mind and says, "This is not your fault, Penelope. Okay? It isn't. Don't blame yourself for this."

But I was blaming myself for this too because I'm partially to blame. "But it is my fault, Bri." I respond sadly.

The bell rings indicating that lunch is over and the conversations now flood the hallways. I see Caleb, one of the hottest guys in school walking towards us. Towards me. Caleb looks like he came straight of a magazine. He always looks like a super model.

"Hey, Penelope," he says smiling. "Sabrina." He nods towards her, smiling. "So, uh, Penelope I'm guessing you had fun at the party. You seemed like you were having fun anyways. Not that I was watching you or anything!" He adds quickly. He starts fidgeting with the string on his hoodie.

"I. I um. I..."

Before I can reply Sabrina says, "She'd rather not remember the party. She..." Sabrina pauses while she tries to figure out what lie to tell him. "She had an embarrassing moment, so yeah."

Caleb looks concerned. Like he genuinely cares. "Oh sorry. Do you want to get some coffee after school, maybe? Perhaps? You do to have to go if you don't want to."

Could he be nervous? Could he like me? No. I can't think about guys for now. Not for at least nine months. I look at Sabrina for advice on what to do but she just looks at me waiting for an answer.

"I uh..." I have to act normal. Like nothing ever happened even though something did happen. Going on a date -- if it's a date -- might be something normal I can do. "Sure." Caleb's face lights up.

"Great!" He says. "I guess I'll see you after school." The warning bell rings meaning we have one minute to get to class. Sabrina, Caleb and I walk into English class.

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