Searching For Her

Chapter Nine

Every night I would be raped from then on. After the first week I've learned what he liked the most from me. What got him done faster. He'd bathe me as normal and I'd complement or thank him for taking care of me. After that, I'd make myself show as much pain and agony as I could. The more tears the less he actually hurt me.

Once he'd get his shower, he'd come back and be all nice before going to sleep. I barely get any rest but sometimes I'm able to get a wink from exhaustion. I've realized that he talks in his sleep, recently. He dreams of a lot of things that make him upset. The worst nights are when he starts talking to his mother in his dreams.

He'd start mumbling and then screaming out for her. Sometimes, he wakes himself up from the fit. He'd just get up and go into the bathroom to calm down.

I don't know how long I've been here but by now it's going on October from the glances I get outside. My mother always loved fall because of Halloween. She'd dress me up in all of these costumes and we'd hit the town for candy. Then we'd go home and eat it together. When I "got too old" for trick or treating we just handed out candy. We'd dress up and walk through the neighborhoods stuffing candy in the kid's pails.

My kidnapper says that I couldn't have candy because it's too unhealthy. The only sweet thing I can have was cake or the occasional piece of dark chocolate.

Recently, Chris has been leaving a lot and I'd be left in my room for the majority of the day. At least when he's here I get to do things around the house. I used to think he would leave because he has a job but the hours are always so random.

I'd wake up at night to see him leaving in the middle of the night. He would be gone for a while and then come back into bed without another word. I've tried asking him where he goes but I never get an answer. If I push too much he'd retaliate. I stopped asking after the first beating.

I stared out the window. Leaves danced and spread across the ground. I pictured the sounds and smells. The leaves crunch and rustle in the wind. The smell of fall. I pictured myself dancing around a large pile of leaves with my long dress moving in the constant wind. I'd jump right into the leaves. They'd crunch and break my fall while scattering all around me.

"Karmen,"

I smiled. It would be so fun.

"Karmen!"

I turned around. Chris stood there, angry. He huffed and gestured at the unfolded laundry.

"Why aren't these folded yet? It's already been,"

He glanced at his watch.
"Twelve minutes! You know I have to leave soon."

I stuttered out an apology as my hands fumbled to fold the wrinkled shirt in my grasp. He watched intently over my shoulder until he was satisfied and walked back into the living room. I snuck another glance out the window. One day.

He brought me up into my room and I put away my clothes in the closet. Recently, he's been growing nitpicky. I try to do everything to his liking but what he wants keeps changing. One day I'd do the dishes right and then the next I'd have to wash them three more times. Or I didn't fold the laundry right so I have to start all over.

I rustled the last dress onto the hanger and closed the door. I turned around. He glared daggers at me. I followed his gaze and realized there was blood on my dress and running down my thighs. Fuck. I was on my period. I looked back up to him for guidance but he just continued to glare at my crotch.

"Sir?"

Finally, he met my eyes. With a heavy sigh he pointed to the bathroom and I went inside. He brought a fresh pair of clothes with him and tossed them onto the sink. He crouched down and handed me a fuzzy rag from underneath the locked storage. I thought he wanted me to put it into the new underwear, like a pad, but he pointed at the bath.

"Get inside."

I stepped inside. He grabbed the showerhead and turned the water on. Boiling water aimed at me and I screamed, covering myself.

"Clean yourself!"

I scrubbed at myself with the rag. The water burned my skin as he aimed it right at my thighs. Angry, he snatched the rag from me and pushed the water right up into my crotch. I screamed in pain. He ignored me and scrubbed hard. I tried getting away from him and the water but he forced me to stay still. It didn't stop until he didn't see any more blood drip down my thighs.

The water turned off. I sniffled and pressed my hands onto the tiled wall for support. I got out and got dressed without his help. He tossed more rags onto the sink before locking the doors back.

"Put these in your underwear. When they're soiled, change them and scrub the others clean."

"Yes, sir."

Chris dragged me out of the bathroom, once I was dressed, and tossed me onto my bed.

"I'm leaving. There better not be a speck of blood on that bed when I get back, you hear me?"

I nodded quickly. He left with a slam of the door. I caressed my burning thighs. They were red and aching. If the water had been any hotter I could have gotten seriously burnt. I softly touched the skin and flinched.

I slunk down onto the floor and leaned my back against the bed. I don't want him to get mad if I bled. I'll be fine on the floor. He'll be back by dinnertime.

He didn't come back until breakfast the next day. I stayed on the floor. Every few hours I'd get up and change the rags. I scrub the bloody one clean with hot water and soap.

The door opened and I looked up to Chris who was all grins.

"Good morning, Karmen."

"Good morning, sir."

He pulled me from the ground and held me in his embrace. I hugged him back. His hands smoothed down my tangled hair.

"This month may have been a failure but trust me,"

He looked down at me and smiled.

"Next month will be successful."

I stared at him confused. What was he talking about? His hand reached down and caressed my lower stomach. Bile rose up my throat as he hummed to himself. He was trying to get me pregnant.