Searching For Her

Chapter Fifteen

She's so precious. She slept soundly on my chest. I brushed my finger over her extended belly. Once I was able to have the strength to go downstairs I'd gotten a pair of children's scissors to cut her umbilical cord and clean up.

Her skin was so smooth and her baby smell made me so happy. I kissed her forehead and slid down into bed. Exhaustion spread over me. I cradled her in the crook of my armpit as I nodded off. Hopefully Chris will be back soon. He needs to bring the crib up for the baby. I smiled. I'll call her Poppy.

The sun pierced through my eyelids and I groaned, covering my face. My hand touched the empty spot beside me. What? I opened my eyes. Where's Poppy? I sat up in a flash, almost making myself faint, and looked around hurriedly. The door was cracked.

I stumbled out of bed, my legs aching, and slowly made my way downstairs. Everything was in pain and I could barely close my legs together. I leaned against the railing and stared down into the living room. Relief flooded through me. Chris was holding her on the couch.

I stumbled down the stairs and got to the couch, shaking. Chris looked up with a smile. Poppy was gripping onto his fingers and stirring around in his arms.

"Good morning, Karmen."

"Good morning, sir."

He looked down to Poppy and shifted her in his amrs. Chris had her in a white onesie with a fresh cloth diaper.

"She's so lovely. Don't you think?"

I nodded and sat down on the couch beside him. Oh, my baby. She's so adorable. Her cheeks were so rosy and plump. Her eyelashes were growing thick and curling. Her little button nose was adorable.

Chris handed her off to me and got up, dusting his hands.

"I've got to make breakfast. Go ahead and start on some of your chores."

I nodded and got up. I flinched, stumbling, and gripped onto the couch with a free hand. My legs ached and shook. My head felt light and it felt like I was going to fall. I pressed Poppy tighter to my chest.

"Sir,"

He turned around, about to step into the kitchen, and stared.

"Yes?"

I licked my lips and took a few breaths. Everything swayed.

"I don't think I can."

He stared hard. Chills crept over my body and made my teeth chatter. He sighed heavily, like I'd stopped his plans.

"Go on and rest upstairs. I'll bring breakfast to you."

I thanked him and shakingly made my way upstairs. I felt like shit. I got into bed with Poppy and drapped the blanket over the both of us. She stirred at the movements and woke up. Her little cries pierced my heart and I shushed her.

"It's okay, Poppy. Mommy's here, shhh,"

She kicked her little legs around before finally settling down. Her eyes kept trying to open but she was so sleepy. I kissed her head and just held her close.