Searching For Her

Chapter Sixteen

For the next month, Chris was leaving more. I was glad though. With a new baby I couldn't take care of everything he wanted me to. His anger was getting out of control, too. He'd yell at me for hours on end before, finally, storming out when he'd had enough. I tried my best but I just gave birth! I can't move like I used to yet.

It didn't help that I'd gotten sick with a fever after Poppy's birth. I'd had to stay in bed for a week straight because of it.

I could tell that Chris was getting tired of having a baby around. However, sometimes, he was a good father. When he'd spend time with her I'd catch him playing with her. He'd tickle her belly and blow raspberries onto her soft skin. She'd giggle and kick around her limbs wildly. Although those times with him were rare, I cherished them.

Chris was kind enough to allow my body to heal before we made love again. By then, Poppy was going on three months old. Chris would tell me he was happy to have this family but something was off.

He was drawing increasingly away from me and Poppy. He'd kick me out of his room whenever he was finished raping me. I wouldn't even get to cuddle him like we used to. I wanted to ask but I didn't know how he'd react. That was until Februrary turned around. Poppy was five months old.

I was sitting on the couch reading a story to Poppy. I had dragged the wicker crib downstairs to keep her safe and contained in. She seemed to always love listening to me read to her so I tried to do it often. She squirmed with her blankets and tossed her head around, taking in the living room.

"Long ago, far, far away, there lived a little prince,"

I showed her the picture and she smiled, drooling. Her chubby fingers reached out for it. I let her grab it and continued the story.

"The little prince lived with his mother and father up in their castle. Oh, he was a mischievous little prince!"

I turned the page and read to her. Poppy stirred around in the crib, kicking her legs all around. I heard the door open and looked up to Chris was he came in. I smiled and put the book down on the couch.

"Welcome back, sir."

Chris shook off his overcoat and stumbled over to the couch. Was he drunk? The smell of alcohol waltzed up into my nostrils. He plopped down on the couch beside me and groaned.

"Everything okay, sir?"

He just groaned again and waved his hand. His mouth stayed agape as he stared up at the ceiling. I didn't press any further and continued reading to Poppy. She gurgled her spit and cooed at me, smiling.

The book suddenly was snatched out of my hands and thrown across the room. I stared at Chris, confused.

"I need to — to tell you something,"

He stared leaning towards me, the stank of his breath made me back away.

"You're just like my mother."

I was confused. What did that mean? I didn't know a single thing about his mother other than he talks to her sometimes in his sleep.

"Is that a good thing, sir?"

Chris cackled.

"Only if you mean to say that she's a bitch, yes."

He stretched out on the couch. His head knocked back and his legs spread wide, pushing up against he crib.

"I used to admire her. She was my mother after all. Heh,"

He wiped some snot with the back of his hand. His face was growing flushed.

"But then she tried to get rid of me!"

He sat up and glared at me. I gulped and touched a hand on the crib.

"I was just a teenager! She wanted to send me away to some — some institution! She even had my father agreeing with her, that whore!"

His words were flowing into my ears but just scrambling in my head. What was he talking about?

"Institution? What do you mean, sir?"

He scoffed and threw his hands up in defeat.

"Of course ya don't know! My mother wanted to put me in a mental hospital! The bitch,"

Chris chuckled to himself and and stared at me. The dead look in in his eyes sent a shiver down my spine.

"Good thing I put her in her place. Father didn't deserve it. I brought some mercy to him. She was even cheating on him! Heh, she hated me for what I was. A monster,"

I stared in disbelief. My hands were shaking and I inched the crib to my legs. He didn't. Did he? His speech was starting to get more slurred.

"Is'a good thing... I put 'em both in the ground."

The laugh that erupted from him chilled my blood. He continued to just laugh and laugh. I found myself standing up, scooping Poppy in my arms and running up the stairs. His laugh followed me into my bedroom. I curled up in bed with Poppy. She cried and wailed. I rocked her and patted her back.

"We're going to be okay.... We're going to be okay."

We're going to be okay.