A Rush of Blood to the Head

Chapter 26

"My god...."

Her words echoed in the silence of the room. Chris had never witnessed anyone as strong willed and outspoken to speak with such a trembling voice.

"Your mind built you a world of its own", the awe in Dr. Hunter's voice was prevalent.

"I suppose it did", Chris admitted.

It had been almost an hour of explaining the myriad of hallucinations that Chris experienced. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, yet he couldn't help but notice the sinking feeling in his chest. The medicine did a good job of healing his body, but his heart still remained broken.

Jonny...

It almost felt wrong thinking about Jonny anymore. He still wasn't sure if he was asleep or awake or somewhere in between. Thinking about the love of his life and the pain he felt really ate away at his heart.

Stupid thing... Stupid...

He put everything in jeopardy. Their friendship. The band's future. His children. His family. What would they think of him now? The man who had managed to make so many bad decisions one after another that he almost died leaving all his responsibilities behind.

Technically I actually did die for a few minutes...

It was a weird feeling. To be a man who had come back from the dead. It made him appreciate his life more. He vowed to seek therapy and stay off alcohol till he got back up on his feet. But he couldn't deny that the tour inside his own mind was hauntingly ethereal. It had been staring him in the face all along. He had far more issues than he thought he did and the last few years he had experienced a steady decline in his mental health. A lot of did tie back down to his feelings of inadequacy and unrequited love. Non-stop touring, practicing, songwriting, taking zero breaks made it far worse.

"It's amazing", the doctor's voice interrupted his thinking.

"What is?", Chris asked instinctively.

"I have no idea what's going on with you. You aren't an open book. Not anymore", she smiled, "You've somehow become more... interesting"

Chris didn't respond. He looked outside through the window.

"You are all kinds of messed up in there lad", Dr. Hunter gestured at her own head, "I've never been this fascinated before"

"Well can you make any sense of it? What am I supposed to do now?", Chris asked sincerely

Dr. Hunter sat back and took a long swig from a glass of water.

"To reiterate... You've died and come back, you've made very questionable decisions, your band's future is at stake and... you're here", she paused, "In the kids oncology ward, talking to a woman who had to kidnap you to save your life"

Chris shrugged. She put it far too bluntly than he expected her to.

"So now all you have left to do... is sing"

What

"Huh?", Chris asked surprised.

"That's what you do don't you, you sing... Do what you do best... Sing"

Chris huffed. Dr. Hunter never stopped speaking in riddles and sometimes it did more harm than good.

"What good is that supposed to do?", he asked with displeasure.

"Well, its your job isn't it?"

Chris nodded, "I don't see how that--"

"Well then do your job", the doctor spoke over him, "Do your job like you want to, Christopher. Anything else will work itself out"