Chapter 73

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It has been three days since the passing of my best friend. Fives, the man I considered to be my brother, is gone. The stabbing pain in my heart has not eased in the slightest, and the weight of guilt I bear is only becoming stronger.

I haven't slept a wink since it happened. I spend my nights snuggled close to Anakin, hoping the warmth and security of his love will be enough to repair the damage done to my heart. Unfortunately, that doesn't work the way I want it to.

I have not spoken a word since we left the lower levels following the ordeal. I simply cannot bring myself to it. All anyone wants to talk about is Fives and his passing, and I would break down if I even attempted to speak of him. It's too soon.

Anakin and a few Jedi Masters are meeting with Chancellor Palpatine today to discuss the events. I should be going given that Fives was a member of my Battalion and all, but I can't. I cannot sit there and listen while they speak of him as though he was not of sound mind.

I have no idea how much time has passed since Anakin left our quarters. The entire room is still dark, for Anakin did not open the shutters before leaving. I simply fade into this darkness, allowing myself to become consumed by the shadows.

After an unknown amount of time has passed, Anakin's Force signature begins to grow very strong. He's coming back to his quarters, and I still haven't moved since he left. Things are just out of order.

When he gets through the door, he immediately takes off his boots and climbs back into bed with me. He stays seated with the covers over his clothed body and I snuggle into him. After all these hours of grief and loneliness, I'm craving some kind of contact.

He wraps an arm around my back and strokes my shoulder with his mechanical hand. Even though it doesn't contain the warmth of his flesh, it still offers me great comfort. It's still him.

"We had our debriefing with the Chancellor. I didn't try to explain your absence, but I think everyone understood why you didn't go." He says soothingly.

I still have nothing to say, so I say nothing. I understand why we must speak of this and all, but it's too hard. I just need a little time.

"The Chancellor said Nala Se missed something in her examination. It was a parasite all along. The parasite is native to Ringo Vinda and it caused their inhibitors to decay. They have prepared an inoculation for all clones, just to make sure we're safe." Anakin explains.

It wasn't a virus. Everything that happened to Fives was a setup. I can't prove it, and I never will be able to prove it, but I knew him well enough to know the truth.

"I know you don't want to believe it, but (Y/N), we have the proof." Anakin reasons.

Maybe he's right. Maybe they are all right. It would make the most sense if Fives were under the influence of a virus. The idea of a plot against the Jedi is extreme, after all. That being said, I refuse to believe it is true. Fives was a headstrong, kind, and loyal man. Accepting the possibility of him being a victim to a virus is a lot. That would mean his death was in vain.

"I need to go see Rex about something. You stay here, I won't be gone long." Anakin whispers.

He plants a kiss on the top of my head before slowly pulling himself away from me. I want to talk, to beg him to stay here with me so I feel less alone in the galaxy, but I can't bring myself to it. My soul feels empty.

He puts his boots back on and walks back to the door. As he drifts further from me, I become more desperate to speak. I open my mouth to call out three words that mean more to me than anything, but I can't form them.

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