Poisoned love

Chapter 44 - knock, knock

Me: I want to post this chapter early
School: no
Me: why?
School: ...
School: here's the homework

Chapter 44

It's been a week. A long week spent with his friends in dorms, now that the school has reopened, a week trying to catch up with school work with his teacher's help. Katsuki could do it alone but didn't complain, not when his mind was distracting him, and trying to bring his attention to different things.

It was a horrible week. Izuku disappeared, and Katsuki felt like the other just kicked him out of his life. He didn't want to tell anyone that he felt depressed about it.

The nights he spent alone, curled up in bed, trying to find some kind of comfort in the warm blanket, were becoming more uncontrollable. Every day, he felt like if Izuku won't reach him, it was a sign that they will never see each other again.

And Katsuki didn't want that.

Izuku took everything he had to offer, his first kiss, his heart, his soul, his fucking virginity. If Izuku leaves him now, it would be hard to recover.

Shoto was always there for him in those times, the other was like a shoulder you could lean on. Ejiro on the other hand was more like somebody trying to kill him, not comfort him.

The hugs he gave were ribs breaking, and as much as Katsuki starved for affection, he wanted to live through another day too. The three of them shared some nights to comfort him, watching films, or spoiling him with food.

Thank God he worked out more because if he didn't, his belly wouldn't be fit anymore. The last thing he wanted was for his perfect abs to disappear.
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"We are going to study in my room. Wanna join?" Ejiro asked with his perfect smile. Of course, Ejiro was still an idiot and needed tutoring, that's what Shoto was for, but Katsuki didn't feel like spending the night doing math problems.

"Nah, have some shit to do." The look Ejiro gave him was all too knowing. Katsuki won't admit it, but his friend was sometimes too knowing of his feelings, and it was somehow... nice, knowing the other can read him like a book when Katsuki isn't able to form the right words.

"If you feel down again, you know we are here." Katsuki knew that, and as much as he didn't want to be alone, calming down his thoughts was necessary.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going now. Good night." "Night!" Heading back to his room, he didn't see any of his classmates on his way. It was nicely quiet, everyone was probably in the common room, playing games and stuff.

It would be a good distraction, but he needed to face his thoughts head-on, or he will become more miserable. When the door to his room closed behind him, Katsuki locked it and leaned against it, slowly sliding down to the floor and pulling his knees close to his chest.

With a long exhale, he let himself be taken back to where he saw Izuku lastly. It was just before he blacked out. It didn't help him, that the last thing Izuku felt was fear.

Fuck, maybe this wasn't a good idea. He could feel his skin tingle at the memories. Getting over all that happened will be hard, but if Izuku really left him, getting over that will be harder.

Katsuki closed his eyes, letting himself be taken by the darkness of the room, feeling invisible. What would happen if he never met Izuku? Well, his mother wouldn't be trying to kill him, his dad would be alive, but... he would also miss so many adventures, never met some good people, and never get to experience a real relationship.

It would be a lie if Katsuki told himself he didn't miss Izuku's touches. His first time felt incredible, and all he wanted was Izuku's hands back on him, massaging his hair, caressing his cheek, and kissing him all over his face. The thought of all that made his chest heavy.