Sweet As Honey

Chapter 5- Sakura Bath

I choked back a sob, and watched as my tears fell onto the bridge. I couldn't calm myself, it was just so hard. I had hurt him, and there was no way to take that back. I tensed as I felt a hand on my shoulder, I looked up to see Mori. So he was here, he saw it all. He held out his hand and I gently took it, he helped me up. Then he hugged me against his chest, his arms wrapped around me. It was his way, I realized, of him saying sorry. I sobbed into his chest, and he didn't say anything. He just stood there and let me cry. He knew how I felt about Honey, and he knew I just wanted to cry. He picked me up bridal style, and started to walk in the direction of Ouran. So it seems he was told as well. His grip was firm and yelding at the same time, as if he thought he might hurt me further.

"Th-Thank you." I whispered into his shoulder. I felt him nod in acknowlagement. I couldn't tell if he was mad that I told Honey, but Honey would have found out by someone. It pained me to imagine the hurt look on Honey's face. To think, that I broke Honey's childish yet cute aura makes me start crying again. I'm so stupid, why did I have to fall for someone. It's not fair to either of us, or Mori. Mori is stuck in the cross-fire. No doubt about it, the Host Club will be whispering something about this. Mori stood in front of the back entrence and managed to turn the knob while holding me.

"Which way?" Mori asked, I told him the directions of my room and he took me there. He sat me gently on the ground as I unlocked the door. He led me inside and put me down on the bed. I smiled in thinks, trying to think of something to say. I couldn't think of anything to say, and as he turned to leave. I said already knowing the answer.

"D-Did you see?"

"Yes." he stated simply and left. He knew I was talking about what happened with Honey. I swollowed and stood, going to the kitchen. I reheated the stove and made me another cup of Earl Grey tea. I took a sip, and sat at the kitchen table. My drawing things still there. I picked up a pencil and started to draw. I didn't know what I was drawing but I let my feelings guide me. I sniffled and took another sip of my tea. I grabbed hues of pink, black, orange, and white. And begin to fill in the page. The burned rocks and trees are the things and the people that left me. That died weather it be mentally or phyically. They lava represents all my emotions and things that I have done. They clouds of smoke represents my hope, that will disperse after a while. The Sakura tree is me, and I lean towards the last bit of light because I want freedom from my pasts. The rock that the Sakura sits on represents my life, pushing me over the edge every so slowly. I silently scream as I throw my sketch book against the wall. I stand and start pacing, my emotions running wild. They seem to be unable to choose just one thing to feel. I remebered my Uncle telling me something when he was the kind man I knew.

"You know they wouldn't want you to feel like this." he said softly, as he held me in his arms. I had just got done crying over their deaths.

"I know." I whispered back.

"You know I think your very brave in my opinion." he stated, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Why, all I do is cry." I huffed bitterly.

"They say the five stages are grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.You my brave one skipped the first three and jumped straight into depression. That's how your brave."

"I don't get it, Uncle." I muttered with a frown.

"You didn't deny the fate of decesed, and you were not angry that this happened to them, nor did you bargain to turn back time so only you had been killed. You were just saddend by this. Which makes you a brave soul." he explained.

"Oh..." I trailed, and he just chuckled.

I sat on my bed and layed down, according to the five stages of grief I'm on stage three again. I cried myself to sleep. I dreamed of the hurt boy and I sitting under the Sakura tree in the picture I drew. I had no good dreams, nor bad, my dreams were filled with sadness. The next day I didn't attened the school, but I could hear the faint comotion as people switched classes. Around lunch I made Earl Grey tea, since that seems to be the only thing I can stomach. Mr. Suoh brought by my homework, a nice gester that didn't go unnoticed. Perhaps he wanted to make up something that wasn't his fault. It was no matter, I didn't want to dwell upon it, so as a distraction I did my homework. Mori came by as well, to tell me I didn't have to attend Host Club anymore. Why you ask? Honey payed off the camera I had broken. I guess he hated me so much he never wanted to see me again. That very though alone had sent me into another crying fit.