IN A MEMORY

TRUST

CHAPTER 1
TRUST
Trust, a word so hard to understand,
For me and those who have ever been betrayed,
I try to hold on to it,
As they say, no one is perfect,
How do you know the difference between them?
Imperfection and betrayal?
How do you know what to follow?
Because life happens with no explanation,
Sometimes you try so hard to trust,
Ready to accept the imperfection,
But every time,
You are searching,
For proof of betrayal,
Who can blame us though,
Betrayal is all we know,
Mostly from those we love,
And cared for,
That cut,
Is the biggest wound that strangers can’t heal,
Because how does anyone expect you to trust them?
If you can’t even trust your own family,
How do you know the difference?
Between imperfections and betrayal,
When all you have ever seen is the worst of them,
That is how it comes to a point,
When you do not even have a close friend,
Only friends,

Trust is an issue for most people including me. It involves blind acceptance of people and their words or things even when one does not have any evidence to prove your reasoning for doing so. It requires faith in who or what one chooses to believe in. To some, it comes easily to others it is a struggle. The idea of allowing oneself to trust something or someone when there is no certainty of getting what you yearn for from it is so dangerous. The past of a human affects one so much that their ability to open their hearts to the unknown is lost. Emotions, however, do not always accept our reasoning and the facts we try to push on them. Even when one knows that there is a higher possibility of disappointment they find themselves still trusting.
This one girl from a village went to one of Kenya’s cities to further her studies. For most of her life, she had only seen the good side of humanity. She had trusted before and the results were good. She had no problem trusting again. Her family was proud of her and was ready to do anything for her. She was also ready to concentrate on her studies. When she got to the school, she immediately started her path to success. She was ready to do whatever was required of her.
This was a new life. Freedom, being away from her family and neighbors meant no judgment. She had not experienced the life she found when she got to the city. Everything was new and exciting to her and she wanted to try everything that caught her interest. She then met this boy from campus and they became friends. During the friendship, emotions changed and a relationship started to bloom. The guy was everything she had come to understand how a gentleman should be. Little by little, the guy became too important to her and she was ready to sacrifice anything for him. The guy was two years in front of her in school. He was loving and caring to her even though he was a bad boy according to her perception.
After a while of dating, the guy asked her to move in with him.  She couldn’t be happier then. She had trusted this guy completely never to hurt her only to love her. She then introduced the guy to the family they were not happy. For clarification, she had not finished her studies then. When her family heard of her plans to get married to him before finishing school, they were disappointed and tried to stop her. She didn’t care about her education enough anymore. The only dream and life she wanted were with the boy.
As youths do, she rebelled and ran from home to be with the boy. Five months passed with her staying with the boy as man and wife (come- we stay as we call it in Kenya) She never even bothered to talk to her parent. Then one day, she appeared at her parent’s door with her bags. After a while of crying, she confessed that the boy had thrown him out of the house after she had told him, she was pregnant. Like any parent, they welcomed her and even tried talking to the boy who adamantly insisted the child was not his.
Trusting is one thing most of us cannot resist no matter how many times we have been hurt. It's frustrating to so many times get hurt and still keep on trusting. To others, they trusted ones and were hurt and from then are unable to trust again. However, it is not always a good thing to cage yourself as it means even when you need to trust so as one keeps what they yearn for, it is never possible. One keeps telling their heart why it is okay to trust but it ends up being impossible. It makes one lose so many important people and things. The possibility of getting hurt and betrayed keeps lurking in their minds. They frequently question people and situations when all is needed is trust. They want and hope to trust and believe everything is how it seems to be. The truth, however, is they have lived long enough to know that is not always true.
Humans are beings with faults, weaknesses, and deception, making trusting them the hardest task of all. It is not all that give in to the nature of sin some can remain loyal and truthful. However, when you find the latter kind of humans the question is always, until when? Until then they will be strong to resist? Until then for them to be pushed to a corner and betray you intentionally or not? There is no good betrayal, a reasonable betrayal. Betrayal is betrayal. Eventually, the nature of sin finds a way to win.
I do not mean everyone is a liar or deceptive, what I mean is, that it is easy for a good and honest person to fall into temptation. That is human nature. When one finds themselves in that kind of situation what does one need to do? Trust is important especially when relations are involved in blood or otherwise. How do you know who or what to trust?
My advice is this, do not trust easily as that just makes one an easy target for those who do not have pure intentions. Watch more than you listen as they say actions speak louder than words. Ask yourself questions about what you observe but do not act or allow your mind to doubt what you do not have proof of. Time reveals everything hidden so wait until you are proven wrong or right. Act according to the facts presented to you, not assumptions or wishes. As they say, if wishes were horses beggars would ride.