IN A MEMORY

LOVE

 LOVE
Love is a command from God. To live a happy life, you need some love in your life. Love for or from family can never be destroyed no matter how much one tries. We lie to ourselves sometimes when we claim that we do not love family no matter the kind of people they are. This may be instigated by anger, pain, or betrayal that was caused to us by those who we call family. We replace it with anger and denial but no matter how far you run you never go too far eventually we realize that the only way to find peace is by embracing the fact that blood is thicker than water. Family is a sacred union connected through blood and can never be reversed or even gotten over only denying is possible.
There is a very thin line between love and hate and sometimes we confuse one for another. You might think you still love someone but your actions show a different emotion. There can never be hate where once there was love. When we get hurt by those who we love we are filled with anger, disappointment, and pain towards what we have lost and ourselves. Sometimes these emotions are confused to be hate. When the negative emotions let go we come to realize that the love did not go anywhere just that it is what shadowed so the rays from it could not be seen.
When we see those who we love get hurt, we hate the cause of it due to the love. Love is accompanied by happiness; hate is accompanied by sorrow. To be able to be happy then there should be no hate in one’s heart. Love is light, hate is darkness. As darkness fills the earth and overpowers the light when there is hate in our hearts it overpowers lovemaking unrecognizable. In the morning, the sun fights to come up and penetrates the darkness bringing light to the world. We should never allow hate to destroy our power to love.
Love is everywhere,
It is easy to spot love,
From friends, family,
Anybody can love,
Love is universal, 
It is the glue that keeps humanity together,
It is love that helps us show kindness,
With love you get happiness,
From love, you build a family,
From love, you get patriotism,

There is a kind of love that is painful,
Love that is growth, 
Irresistible love,
The kind that can destroy or build,
Protector fight,
The one that is strength and weakness,
True love,

It is very rare,
Mostly only found in fantasies,
Some try to run from it,
But they are pulled back,
Like gravity does to a man,
It never lets you escape,
You have to accept it,
All you can do is accept it,
If you don’t,
It will bring unimaginable pain,
That cannot be lifted even with alcohol,
In the morning,
The pain comes back tenfold,

When you accept it,
One becomes complete,
The world turns from grey to colorful,
One becomes strong to face the world,
Life gets another meaning,
It doesn’t mean it won’t hurt sometimes,
But now, 
You can embrace the pain,
As you would rather feel it,
Then be somewhere else,

We keep looking for this love,
Yet it is hard to find,
Those who do not find it,
They settle for anything that will fill the space,
By then, the hope of finding it is gone,
Others die without ever finding it,
Those who do,
It is hard to fight for it,

When found at the right time,
Some of us are too blind,
 To recognize its presence,
We fight it too hard,
Not ready to accept, 
When we are finally ready,
It’s gone.

The love between two strangers is a kind of love that is unexplainable by human intelligence. It happens occasionally in the most unexpected and unwanted times or places. I do not mean the love that is mostly confused with lust. I mean the type that two hears connect and start beating each other with no reason or asking for permission. This love is independent, it is peaceful, it is satisfactory, and it is fulfilling. When we find it we hope for it to be forever nothing ever seems strong enough to destroy it until something does come.
Paul was a graceful man. He did not quarrel with anyone. He had gone through so much in his life but never lost hope or the spark of brightness in his life. He met this girl one day and you could say to him it was love at first sight if at all there is such a thing in existence. He was attracted by beauty like bees to a flower. Even though they met at night, he could see the purity in her heart. He was with his friends coming from an event when they met the girl. He approached her but the girl could be careless to listen to what he intended to say. Paul knew there was a high chance if he did not get to talk to her then. He kept insisting for the girl to give him a listening ear even though it was just for a minute. The girl was adamant for a while and Paul’s friends tried to ask him to let it go as there were more fish in the sea, but he couldn’t. He didn’t understand what he was feeling then all he knew was he needed to talk to her.
After a while of Paul pleading with the girl, she gave in and gave him her number and nothing else. From that day, they started knowing each other, Paul came to understand he had to make her his. He did not know why he could not say then he was in love, but looking back now he was indeed in love. He did not want to rush he seemed to be the kind of girl who runs away when emotions became too overwhelming. How right he was. A few months of talking and spending time together had passed when the girl gave in and became his. The problem was the girl was so closed off that she never tried to open up to him no matter how much he tried. It was okay with him as long as she was his.
When the girl realized that she was falling in love with him, she started pulling back. She began making excuses for the reasons why they could not meet each other. She also began following a path he was not okay with but he did not say anything. He had come to know her and the last thing he wanted was for her to disappear completely. He had already concluded he was in love with her and did not want to lose her. He would continuously show her how much he loved her but the more he did, the more girl would pull back creating an even bigger space between their hearts. One day he asked her to go and meet his family and that was the last stroke, she disappeared from him completely. Some will ask why he continued to be with her but he knew her, he knew exactly what and why she was doing what she was doing. He decided to give her the space she seemed she desperately needed hoping she would come back to him when she was ready.
At some point, she did come around after months of waiting on Paul’s part. When she came he welcomed her with open arms. It did not last long ultimately she ran again only to come back again but he still forgave her. Since the girl did not like talking about anything emotional, he never asked questions. He continued loving her acting like she did not keep breaking his heart. His love for her was greater than the pain he felt every time she abandoned him. 
After a continuous cycle of the same situation of the girl disappearing and coming back only for him to embrace her again. The girl disappeared completely. Paul waited patiently for the girl but she did not come back. Some would think that the girl did not love him as much as he did. That is not true, Paul was the first person she had ever loved completely or even cared to love intimately but she did not know how to accept it or she was not ready to show her love for him. That is the reason she kept disappearing only to come back when she could not deal with not being near him anymore. Paul knew that and since he was a patient man, he was ready to wait for her without caring about how long it took. When she did not come back, he tried to give up on her but couldn’t his love for her would not let him. He went and looked for her only to find out that she was with another person. He decided to let her go no matter the pain he would feel.
When the girl decided to date the guy she was at the time Paul looking for her, she was trying to forget. She was trying to convince herself what she felt for Paul was not love. The pain in her heart, when she couldn’t see or hear from Paul, was immense. The yearning of being with Paul was excruciating. The more she tried to forget Paul by being with the other guy, the more she missed Paul. The other guy realized how little attention she could give him and decided to break up with her after two months of being together. She was not devastated or angry about being left. She was relieved. The pain in her heart would not leave. She tried to find another friend another way out. She drank her pain away until she realized it was a waste of time. She never forgot Paul.
Eventually, she decided to look for Paul only to find out that the struggles of life had become too much for Paul. He did not turn her away though at the moment of complete darkness in his life she was able to make him smile. Paul knew the love in his heart for her was still there. The unfortunate thing was, it happened the girl had not accepted that she loved him yet. She abandoned him at the worst time possible but Paul did not let it weigh him down. He had expected it so he just let her do what she wanted.
When the girl reflected and realized how much pain she was causing Paul, she vowed not to ever go back in his life ever again. She had caused so much turmoil and she needed Paul to be happy. She was not capable of doing that for him even though she loved him. What she failed to realize was, that Paul’s heart was already hers unless she decided to make him happy he would never be happy. She kept her vow and did not search for Paul despite how much she missed him.
Paul a long time of silence searched for her and when he did find her, she was a completely different person and not in a good way. He tried to show her why what she was doing was wrong but she was far gone. She did not care anymore. She buried her feelings and internal beauty in a deep hole. Unfortunately for Paul, nothing she seemed to do made his love for her go away. The distance between them was now as dangerous as a steep hill. Nothing he did change anything. He was fighting for their love alone; it became too much for him. So he gave her more space as he tried to build his happiness.
Now they have completely lost each other but if you ask them both, if they decide to be honest they would say the love is still there just that it is not enough for either of them anymore.
True love is painful, it is relentless. It never gives up when it targets a soul. It will fight until it finds a place in one’s life. It sees what no one can see not even those with blood relations in the soul it wants to occupy. It never let's go even though we deny its existence. Those who have felt it know you can find love from another soul. The souls' true love has connected and will always yearn for each other. You might find happiness in other places but until you are one with the other soul one is never complete. You might think what you are feeling is taboo, and unacceptable but there is never anything one can do to completely erase it from its host. When we lose the soul connected to ours, we might even convince ourselves that it is completely gone but somehow the truth comes knocking on our hearts. We might refuse to acknowledge its presence but somehow we eventually do accept it doesn’t matter how long it will take. 
When the truth finally sinks into us we realize how wrong we were. It is always painful whether you were the one who was hurt or broke the bond in the first place. If you did the hurting, we blame and guilt trip ourselves but then there is nothing you can do about it since you are not even sure if you try and repair the bond something will come out of it. You always know there is a high chance you will be the one to destroy it again and this time you might not have a chance to make amends.
True love cares about the other soul more than yourself. When you lose those who you truly love to your continuous, repeated mistakes you need them to be happy. You hope that they find happiness wherever they are even though sometimes it is not the case. The more we keep our distance, the more those who truly love us get hurt. You cannot teach your heart who truly loves more than they can. Meaning, that we stay away reasoning they are happier without us in their lives.
Those who get hurt by who they truly love and leave always try to be happy without them. They might end up deciding that all they feel for the other soul is hatred and disappointment In that cloud though, there is hope. I hope that the other soul will make it right, they will ask for forgiveness. They will confess they still love them and would like to have another chance which they would give after a while. This is because, no matter how much they try to erase the love, they still need their other soul with them. A life without them does not seem to have any color only darkness. They want to smile again as they did while they were in their life. They need to be happy again as they were while they had them in their life.
If you are one of those souls who hurt their other soul especially if you never gave a reason for doing so. You need to make it right even if it does not mean the bond will be completely repaired. If they are ready to give another chance to be ready to treasure it. a second chance will not be possible at least you will be a little at peace with yourself. You should also accept if they were able to move on, your only concern should be if they are happy and contented.
If you hurt and can’t seem to move on, try being happy for now but never settle. It was meant to be it will be. True love always makes sure it finds a way to win without a care about how long it will take.
1st Corinthians 13:4-8 
Love suffers long and its kind, love does not envy, love does not parade itself, it is not puffed up. It does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked or think evil. Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth, love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails, but whether there are prophecies, they will fail, whether there are tongues, they will fail, whether there are tongues they will cease, whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
As yourself, “can what I feel be explained by this verse?”