Chapter 21

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I had the most amazing summer. Almost all of it was spent with Blair and the time that wasn't was spent writing to Blair. I'd completely forgotten about anyone else's existence. I met her parents, they were the most lovable wizards I'd ever met. They didn't treat me like everyone else did, it felt like home at their house. Always filled with laughter. When she came to my house it wasn't the same but she was happy to be there. To my advantage my mother got on very well with her, always giving me the eye, I knew she was happy. Luckily my dad was so busy he was never home so thankfully she only saw him once. The sex was also amazing, we'd grown very comfortable around each other and I knew her body as well as she knew mine. It was hard for me to keep my hands off her. We'd made it official, I wasn't really a fan of labels but it put a smile on her face. She still got upset about Cedric but I was able to understand now, I knew how to cheer her up and I also knew when she needed space. But all good things had to come to an end, summer was almost up and we'd be back at Hogwarts by next week and I didn't think I was ready for reality to hit. There would be a lot of opinions from her friends and my own. Gryffindors and Slytherins shouldn't mix but it wasn't fun if we didn't break some rules. Sure, Parkinson would have a lot to say about it, I'd just blame it on jealousy.

Dear Draco,
I feel nervous about going back. You know after what happened last year, does it even feel safe? Also have you told your friends about us? I haven't had chance to speak to mine about it yet, I don't know what they'll think but I hope they understand. It's probably a good idea if we meet once we've spoken to them even though I'm desperate to see you. My mum wants me to pack a box of the brownies you said you liked, I told her she was daft, but if you want them I'll bring them. I hope you're doing ok. I'll see you in a few days.
Blair

I wrote back straight away, letting her know there was nothing to worry about. I didn't want her to think about it. I hadn't told my friends either but I'd find a way to bring it up if they hadn't already guessed. I told her I do want the brownies, her mums an amazing cook, I'm surprised I wasn't obese after spending so much time in the Walkers home. I was excited to see her too, even though it was going to be different. That was important to, we hadn't said the dreaded L-bomb even though I knew I did love her and I believed she did me, I didn't think there was any need to say it. Not yet anyways.

I went to the station alone, parents both busy. Blair was accompanied by hers. They slavered her in affection and she didn't push it away like the other kids, she was going to miss home. I wanted to go to her right now, board the train with her and let her know it was all going to be ok, but we agreed to tell our friends first. I barged past first years, heading straight to our normal carriage. Everyone's eyes lit up when I came in, like they'd seen a ghost.
"Fuck, he's alive." Blaise chuckled, I shoved him off, taking the seat next to him, opposite Pansy. Still her normal, arsy self I see. "You're little princess not joining us." Blaise added and Pansy snickered.
"Nope." I answered coldly. "No hi Draco how was your summer?"
"You're all loved up now, no one wants to hear that gooey shit." Pansy remarked, god she really was riddled with jealousy.
"I mean I'd take the other shit, what she's like in the bedroom-" Blaise started but I ended it quickly.
"Shut up." I snapped.
"Fuck he's really in love." Pansy giggled, I shot her a glare.
"I'm not in love." I retorted. "We're together though now so your jealous arse best get use to seeing her around."
"Jealous?" She laughed. "Please."
"How did your dad take that?" Blaise asked, squeezing all the information.
"How do you think?" It could have been worse. Either way, I was past the point of giving a damn what my father thought. If things were bad before, they were worse now, we were drifting further away.
"Well she hasn't run off yet so couldn't be that bad." Blaise added and he was right. Blair took my fathers coldness well, she didn't seem fazed by it, maybe that's because my mother enjoyed her company.
"Let's not just talk about me and Blair." I finished. Blaise I could trust, Pansy? Most certainly not. She went on to complain how awfully dull her summer was, Blaise just let her complain, I completely zoned out not caring what she had to say. I just wanted to get off this train so I could see her.

It all dragged by, welcoming the first years, eating the banquet. I watched her intently, glad to see she was happy, slightly annoyed that it was sat with Longbottom. One thing this relationship wouldn't change is my disliking towards Neville and the rest of Gryffindor, she'd be the only exception. I went back to the common room, knowing she'd go back to hers, it was filled with stories or terroring the first years which I'd normally be apart of but not this year. When it started to get late, I went to the astronomy tower, knowing she'd also be there.

She ran towards me, her arms wrapping around my frame. I nestled my head in her hair, the amazingly sweet smell. She pulled away, a large smile on her face.
"I've missed you." She exhaled.
"Come on it's only been just over a week." I winked and she elbowed me in the rib. We walked over to the edge, looking out into the darkness. "So how did they take it?" Silence, she stood there in silence, the smile disappeared. Not very well then. "You know what? Their opinion doesn't matter you know that-"
"No it's not that." Then silence again. What was she on about. "I haven't told them yet, I don't know it just didn't feel like a good time." Was this girl having me on? The first thing I did when I got on that train was made it apparent. I'm pretty sure Pansy Parkinson is a harder audience to please than Neville fucking Longbottom. What? Is she embarrassed?
"I'm not embarrassed!" She defended.
"Don't pick at my brains." I shot back. She drives me insane with that. No thought was private it was infuriating. "Then what is it then? Hm? Because you don't seem to be speaking up about it." I needed to control my temper but she'd really hit a nerve.
"I just didn't know how to bring it up okay?" Bullshit.
"How about hey guys hope you had a nice summer, I spent mine with Draco Malfoy! Oh no didn't I tell you we are together?" She looked at me guilt in her eyes. She knew it was easy but she was holding back because she cared more about what her friends thought than my feelings. "You know what? Why don't we take it back? If it's so difficult to be with me then let's just call it quits."
"No!" She shouted, grabbing me as I attempted to walk away. "That's not what I want, I'll tell them okay!"
"I've had enough of this conversation. I think maybe you need to re think whatever is going on in that head!" I pointed at her skull. "Because whatever it is, you aren't letting me in." I tried to walk away again but she clung onto me. I saw the tears brewing in her eyes. Not this time Blair, you can't win me over by crying, I won't stand for it. "It's okay for you to pick at my brains but letting me into yours? You know relationships are meant to be a two way thing right?" I craved so desperately to have a look what was going on in there, to know exactly how she felt. So desperate.
"Come on I don't want to spend the first night arguing over something stupid." She exclaimed. The tears on edge, I couldn't take it all back just because she was crying. But I knew how hard today was for her, seeing her cry for nights in a row, covered in anxiety about her first day back. "You know I'm proud to be with you Draco, I'll shout it from the roof tops if you want me to-"
"No that's the issue Blair, it isn't about if I want you to do something, you should want to do it." I said through gritted teeth. I was really trying not to snap at her.
"I do. I'm sorry I made a mistake okay, I've had a lot on my mind." The first tear fell, followed by many more. Fuck. "I need you by my side." She sobbed and I fell for it, cradling her in my arms instantly. "Is that selfish of me?" She cried. It was selfish, but I needed her as much as she needed me, I couldn't go on without her and she can't without me. As toxic as it was, we needed each other for our own sanity.

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