Trouble

|Chapter Five| Narcissus

[Narcissus]: (is believed to be) the flower that distracted Persephone
when she was abducted by Hades

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It's not until Syd leaves and I get into bed that million and one questions about Connor start to attack my brain.

He should really pay rent for occupying all this space in my head.

Because of him the ceiling of my room suddenly becomes VERY inviting, so I just keep staring at it for hours, while going through the full drawers of my brain.

Okay, so what IF Connor really beat that guy up? There has to be a reason for it.

I don't think he has turned into a total psycho that beats up whoever he wants to, just because he feels like going out and kicking some ass.

And I need to find that out somehow.

I need to know how true the rumors about him are, so I can let it all go. So I can let HIM go...

I want to know the answer to every question I have about him, so I can be totally done with him. Or let my mind drift to him without regrets.

Violence is a complete no-no to me. And if he's indeed so ruthless to beat someone up so much that he can't even walk to school, then he should have absolutely no place in my head and heart. None.

The next day during all of our classes together, my eyes are at the end of every classroom. I keep looking for him everywhere, but he's nowhere to be seen.

Why didn't he come to school? Isn't he worried to not finish even the first semester of college?

Doesn't he care?

Although, he always hated school, but weirdly knew all the stuff in the textbooks and had the highest grades. I wonder if he's still like that.

My eyes keep lingering on his desk desperately during our last class too, as I wish he were here, so I could just go up to him after the class and ask him my questions.

But who in the world am I even kidding? He'd never answer to any of it.

However, there's still another way for the Sherlock Me.

Throwing a last glance at Connor's empty seat and finally getting the hint that he won't magically appear, no matter how long I stare at it, I turn around in my seat and gently poke Syd's shoulder during Modern Lit.

"Which one's the guy Con_ Trouble allegedly beat up? Is he present?" I ask as soon as she turns her head slightly to the right so that she can hear me.

She growls silently and nods.

"The one wearing a green t-shirt. Three seats behind you. And by the way, can you stop tapping your ridiculous shoes on the floor? It feels like you're having a fancy mental breakdown."