𝒾𝓉𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 || dream x reader

3 || arrival.

(TW; anxiety attack)

I arrived at the flat. The landscape was lovely from here, with numerous flowers and plants strewn along the long stone paths that wound their way around the many buildings. I inhaled deeply and shakily, my hot palms grasping the steering wheel. For the last 5 minutes, I had been sitting in the parking lot, presumably looking like a weirdo. My head felt foggy as I took another deep breath. It was either the lack of sleep, or the fact that I'd been awake for hours with nothing but three cups of coffee in my system. My hands were trembling, presumably due to anxiety or caffeine, or both.

Am I ready for this? I wondered as I wiped my hands on my jeans. I mean, am I really ready to move into someone's apartment that I've only met in person a couple of times? Normally, I wouldn't do something as unusual... as risky... as this, but it felt right. My old apartment was becoming too costly for me to manage on my own, and I couldn't stand living there by myself any longer. I needed someone to keep me from getting too caught up in my own thoughts. Someone to divert my attention, or at the very least make me aware that there is another life in the room.

Dream, in particular, gave me a warm, pleasant feeling. I already felt so close to him after only about a month of knowing him. He genuinely cared for me, or so I believed. I'd never known what it was like to be truly cared for by someone, so even the tiniest act of kindness meant the world to me, because even something as simple as a smile could brighten my day, that's how starved of love I was.

When my phone started vibrating, I realized I was nodding off. I grabbed it while rubbing my eyes.

*text from clay*
- hey, you almost here?

I smiled, about to reply when I got the brilliant idea of surprising him instead. I opened my door and stepped out slowly, and shakily. God am I nervous. I took all of my belongings from the trunk and began walking towards the apartments. I climbed up to the third story, passing through the lobby. I was taking many long breaths to settle myself down so I didn't come across as a nervous wreck when I arrived at his door. I hurried down the corridor silently yet quickly, rolling my baggage behind me... It was eerily silent here.

Finally, I made it to his door. That's it, that's his apartment number. I fixed my gaze on the door, shook my hands and extended my arm, poised to knock.

To new adventures? This is terrifying. I've never moved in with someone else before, this could end terribly. What if we aren't meant to live together and this ruins our friendship? What if we get annoyed with each other so fast, I should've gotten to know him better before deciding on moving in with him.

I started to feel dizzy from my thoughts, my hands were trembling, and I couldn't breathe. My heart was pounding as I backed away from the door. I didn't know what to do; I had panic attacks like this all the time, but never in public. Not even for something as minor as moving in with someone. There was no way I was going to allow myself to burst into tears right in front of Dream's door. I struggled to gasp for oxygen, my eyes watering up, but the pain in my chest only got worse. I was going through a panic attack, tears distorting my vision.

I turned away from the door, gathering myself, wiping away my tears frantically. I can't be seen like this, definitely not on the day I'm moving in with him.

I blinked back tears, pressing my hands to my cheeks. I hadn't even known clay's door had opened amid the hammering heart, and the battle to breathe. What will he think of me now? I'm simply overreacting to everything, and he'll assume there's something wrong with me... which, of course, there is.

"What happened?" I could hear the familiar voice ask quietly behind me, his voice betraying his concern. I couldn't respond, or catch my breath, so I just stood there looking pitiful. He walked up to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his apartment with his free hand, dragging my baggage after him. When we got inside, he shut the door and motioned me to settle down on his couch. I took a deep breath, attempting to calm down. I was so humiliated that I probably looked pathetic.

I watched as he walked into the kitchen, grabbing me a cup of water and returning to the couch. "Y/n," Dream said my name softly, his arm still around my shoulder, "is everything alright?" He looked so lovely, so caring—how could he be so concerned about someone he'd only recently met?

I inhaled deeply, finally able to catch my breath enough to get a word out. "I'm okay," I told him, looking down at the cup of water he had handed me, "It's just anxiety." I had decided to be straight up with him about it; it would spare me the explanations in the future if something like this happened again. "It happens sometimes when I'm overwhelmed, but I'm fine..." I paused. He undoubtedly thinks I'm insane, and he's probably doubting himself for letting me move in. I gave a tiny shake of my head, glancing at my fidgeting hands.

"Hey," he grabbed my arm to stop my anxious fidgeting, "it's okay," he said. "I know what you're going through, I've been around people who have experienced panic attacks. You don't have to be worried about it, it's completely normal." When I looked up, he was beaming brilliantly.
I nodded and sighed.
"Now, are you ready to take a good look around the place?" he smiled as he rose up.

"Welcome to your new home."