10 || new year.

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i stared off the balcony, the crisp winter afternoon air floating around me. it was new year's eve, and george and nick had to leave for a flight at 10 pm. it was so unfair that they didn't get to stay for at least new years. i was baking a farewell/new years cake in the oven, just as a last goodbye sort of present a well as a way to welcome the next year. everyone was so sullen, finishing the last of their lego building, as well as watching the last recording they had of harry potter. i was watching with them as i baked, but when i popped the cake in the oven i needed to get a breath of fresh air. i didn't want the leaving of my friends to overwhelm my mind, i just needed to feel the wind, and let the distant sounds of traffic and leaves replace my thoughts.

i stood out there for five minutes, eventually deciding to go back in and check on the cake. i swallowed the lump in my throat as i walked back in, quietly closing the sliding door behind me. george and clay glanced back at me with a nod, which i returned with a smile as i walked back into the kitchen. i whipped up some blue and white frosting, and stuffed it in the fridge, the cake still having another twenty minutes left to bake. i boredly tapped my nails on the counter, scanning the room for some sort of distraction. i couldn't find anything, my throat started to burn as i watched the boys laugh at their movie.

i hated being close with people who are just going to be gone soon after i start to feel a bond with them. i hated being around people who i knew were just going to leave me in 5 hours. i had to suck it up though, i would regret not spending the time i had with them. i walked over to the couch, silently placing myself in between clay and george, nick sitting on the smaller couch. they all turned their head my way for a moment, smiling, "how's the cake?" nick asked with an enthusiastic smile. george hushed him, and he frowned. i snorted, and just answered the question with a thumbs up and a nod. nick scoffed and rolled his eyes at george, turning his attention back to the movie.

no matter how hard i tried to pay attention, my focus kept shifting to george and nick, wanting to take in the last of my friends before they have to pack their bags and leave. i could feel clay shift beside me, lightly pressing against me for comfort. i let out a soft breath, leaning my head into his arm. i sat, staring at the blue of clay's sweatshirt beside my face and sighed, allowing the support of his shoulder to comfort me.

ding.
the timer for the cake went off, and i sluggishly, silently pulled myself off the couch to go decorate it the best i could.

the cake ended up getting smashed; we sat there laughing all evening, eating some cake, and then mushing it onto each other's faces. we finally settled down now, nick and george had their suitcases packed and ready. we were sitting all beside each other on the bar stools in the kitchen, chatting softly, knowing that we would have to depart soon. it was 9:50, time to leave to the airport.

we all collectively noticed the time, and came to a silence. i lowered my eyes and sighed, finally getting up. "time to go." i said with a forced smile, grabbing clay's keys. the boys nodded, getting up one by one and grabbing their bags. clay followed, his lips pressed together, and i handed him his keys.

we walked slowly down the hall together, reluctant to arrive at the car, but we eventually did. we got in, clay driving, nick in the front and me and george in the back. me and george sat and played games on our phone together, nick playing music, us all singing occasionally when a song we all enjoyed came on.

we kept like that for an hour, eventually coming to a silence again when we pulled into the airport parking lot. we parked, and george and nick got out to grab their bags. i glanced at clay in the front seat to see him leaning his elbows against the steering wheel, rubbing his forehead with his palms. i leaned forward before i got out, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly.

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