Finally...Us [BTSxReader]

Chapter 3

"You are still here?" a voice startled M from her usual daydreams. She was still in the library, waiting for time to pass so her classes could start. Not because she could not wait to go to them, but if classes started, she had an excuse to not meet with anyone and then just go to her room and sleep. Sleep was her solution to everything. Hungry and not in the mood for cooking or shopping? Sleep. Tired of socializing? Sleep. Sad and wanting to cry? Sleep.

"You should get ready for your class" the voice continued, and she still did not turn around. She knew who it was without looking at them. NamJoon was the last person she wanted to meet at the exact moment. She sighed and shrugged at him, slowly getting ready to take off from the library.

"We haven't spent any time together these past few months" he continued, taking a seat across from her, their eyes locking. "I apologize. Every time I start a new relationship, I seem to lose track of my friends." he says with a sigh, resting his chin in his hand.

"Well, that is because you try to give it your all to the relationship because she never gives anything back to you, and you feel like the only way to keep her by your side is by making her your entire world" M hated analyzing her friends' lives, but she was annoyed with NamJoon, and tired from a restless sleep, so her mouth blurted everything out before her brain got to process the words.

NamJoon seemed taken aback as she never did use that kind of wording before when they talked about his love life, but in a split second, the shock turned into a grin.

"The therapist in you finally came out to do some healing huh? We should do this more often, maybe we can uncover all the trauma, and the next relationship can be non-destructive from either side" he chuckled, dimples showing on his cheeks, eyes in the shape of a quarter moon. She knew he was not making fun of her in the way her brain wanted to state it, but she was overly sensitive from last night still.

"I don't do therapy for free" M gritted out and stood up, immediately walking away from the table, her fists clenched at her sides. She heard NamJoon call out to her, but she ignored him, her heart twisting in her chest. She wanted to be free of him and his suffocating self at the moment.

"What happened? Why did you run away?" a hand grabbed at her arm, stopping her from walking, his voice washing over her person. It was not fair, why could he run away without looking back every time, but she couldn't?

"Nothing, I just need to go to my classes" she whispered, swallowing the stream of words which wanted to come out of her mouth, all blaming him and telling him to stop being a douche when drunk.

"No, it is not that" his voice was low, calm, and serious. And she wanted to start laughing to sound like a crazy person and then run away. If he kept digging deeper, he would find the hidden metal case in which she put all her feelings and hurt. And then it would all explode and she would either self-destruct or go crazy. "You were not like this last week, so I assume it has to do with me getting drunk last night." he said, her flinch proving his assumption right. No psychology major experience or theory could cover for her real feelings, no matter how dire she wanted to hide her emotions.

"Geez, M, did I do or say something last night?" he turned her around, gasping as he saw the tears welling in her eyes. "My God, I am so sorry!" his arms wound around her body, dragging her into his warmth. She did not know if she should cry or laugh at how this was going, but she stayed rooted to the ground, in his embrace. It was silly of her to think he would somehow tell her it was going to be alright, that he would never leave her side, that she was the one.

"I did not mean any of whatever I did or say, M. Trust me, you are my best friend, I don't want to ever hurt you!" he said, his words sounding like deadly whispers to her heart, not knowing how much it hurt her. No amount of daydreams or prayers would ever help her in this situation, so she relaxed into his hold, two lines of salty tears falling from her eyes, letting him think it was just because she was happy he said sorry. She smiled, broken and small, a glitch on her face, trying to put herself back together before he let her go.

His hand was rubbing small circles on her back, making her want to crawl in a dark corner and rock back and forth there. She tried really hard not to let her mind concentrate on the places he was touching her, not to let go and fall into his trap. Relaxing into his hold was the last thing she wanted to do because she would crave it even more afterward. So she forced her muscles to relax instead, breathing in slowly, while her mind detonated the emotions inside. The calm outside was a contrast to how her mind and heart screamed at each other.

"Look, if I ever do anything like that again, I give you full permission to punch me. I will know why the next morning" he said, taking his hands off her body, and her heart wished for more of his comfort, while her mind screamed at him all the vulgar words she knew. His hands were on her shoulders, and he was leaning to her level to be eye to eye with her. "I don't want to make you sad or angry for any reason. I don't want to ruin our friendship" he said with a smile, dimples again showing, his eyes glinting with worry and care at the same time.

M could only nod, fearful of how her voice would crack the moment she said anything, and she wiped the stubborn tears which did not want to leave her eyes.

'Smile! Come on, smile! Smile, so he can let me go, so I can just run away! Smile, goddammit!' she screamed in her mind, forcing herself to crack a small smile.

"There we go, my pretty kitty. All good right?" he asked, teasing her with his own silly pet name for her. She was a cat, sometimes wanting all his attention, other times trying to pretend she was alright and aloof, and he was a dog, a dumb dog who never saw the cat looking at him with adoring eyes. "You look so much better when you smile" he continued, patting her head, his fingers wiping the tears slowly drying on her cheeks.

'Liar' she thought at his compliment, her heart aching and fluttering at the same time.

"Yikes, come on, you will be late for class" he called out of nowhere, and before she could say anything, he turned her around quickly, and started pushing her out of the library. The moment they stepped out of the doors, he passed her, taking her bag and grabbed her hand, sprinting down the campus streets to reach her building.

The sun was high in the sky, slowly making its descent towards its house, and the wind was slightly fluttering. And two people were running down the road. M could only look at NamJoon's broad back as he was dragging her in the sprint, her heart hurting.

'One of these days, you will be the death of me' she thought, her lungs burning from running, her heart practically doing marathons in her chest, and her legs stepping on needles from forcing herself to keep up with the taller man. At least, it was a good way to forget about her emotional pain.