Hacking The Relationship Code

Chapter 26: Brownie Points

Adrian's POV

We were already nearing the end of the exam week and I couldn't take it anymore. The torment that I had been going through in the past two weeks had taken a toll on my health. I felt feverish from time to time and my head hurt like hell whenever I exerted myself either at the gym or in my books. However, I needed to concentrate on my tests now. I have been studying day and night for these tests and luckily for me, I was able to answer all the questions in full capacity.

Cole, Leslie and I had been preparing together but most of the times it was just me. The first trimester tests would end tomorrow after which everyone was free to go home for Christmas break. Everyone I know would be on their way to meet their families and I would be left alone with nothing but my heartbreak and solitude to accompany me.

Cole had invited Leslie and I over to his place but I declined the invitation since I didn't want to intrude on family. All my other team mates would also be away with their families and friends and the fact that I had just broken up with my girlfriend didn't help my Christmas mood either. Andy, Mia and Ginna had already booked their tickets to Minneapolis about a month ago. Ginna had asked me if I wanted to accompany her to Rosemount but I was sure, she had already anticipated my denial. Going to Rosemount would open a can of worms, I would rather not visit.

Well, of course I regretted my behavior with Ginna that day. I had been angry, impulsive, immature and way out of sorts. Yes, I was an asshole. Owing to my poor performance in the mocks and the snow tube incident, I was already running thin in the patience department and the space conversation just tipped the scales on my rage. I had always been short on temper but I thought that Chicago had changed me. Clearly, I never considered relapses.

My anger went on for a few days and all I could see was red. But as time passed and I processed the entire situation objectively, I found myself more guilty than ever. My habit of displacing my anger had taken the better off me yet again. My resentment on my inability to ace the tests had stirred me to pin the blame on Ginna. At that time, I wasn't in the right mind to grasp on her perspective and no matter what she said, I wasn't going to entertain her. My anger had hijacked my rationale which pioneered the worst outcome.

Ginna was right, I had become obsessed with her to the extent of denying my own self the much-needed personal space. She wasn't responsible for my lag at academics, I was. I had shifted my focus entirely on her which had suffocated her. I knew Ginna wasn't someone you could tame and keep to yourself. She was a free bird who would die without fresh air. Even in school, she always had a lot of things on her plate and was never dedicated to a particular thing in general. She could never sit at one place for a long time let alone with one person. She always stuck with the ones she was most comfortable with, but she never limited her access to a set of activities or a set of people.

She might have not been good at communicating her inhibitions, but I had been worst. I had called her dominating and questioned her feelings for me. Ginna is the first person I ever cared for so deeply which had triggered the over-possessiveness from my end. My need to be the object of her constant attention and not being able to handle my feelings for her had driven me to take the unfortunate step.

If there was one thing that kept periodically screaming in my head, in these fifteen days of being away from her was that, I loved Ginna.

I had fallen hard for her and now no matter what it took, I wanted her back. I could work on my short comings and strive to become better but I couldn't do without her now. The fear of losing out on tests had blindsided me for sometime but the fear of losing her scared the living daylights out of me. I wanted to give us another shot if she would let me and make it right. I wanted to apologize to her for making her feel that way. I wasn't thinking very well when I bought those allegations on her.