Miss Lynn +18

Chapter 11

A/N: I combined a little bit of the last chapter with this one. So if, you're returning to read the continuation of the story. You're at the right place! Some might look a little familiar at first, but I promise it's updated.

"You're kidding me!" Kacey says surprised as she places her wine glass on the coffee table, after giving her the lowdown of everything that happened earlier between Alex and me. I called her as soon as Alex left and she came with a bunch of wine, not caring it was only 2:00 in the afternoon.

"Can we just take a moment to say how calm I was being about this?" I ask through laugh. It isn't really that funny, but after 3 glasses of wine on an empty stomach, everything is.

"Oh, yes!" She giggles. "You get a gold star!" She teases.

I finish the last of my wine and begin to pour myself another glass.

"I don't get why you are so against being with him." she says shaking her head.

"Because... it's Alex." I say dramatically. "I'd fall madly in love with him and then something would go wrong, leaving both of us heart broken." I take a swig from my glass. "And we also have to think about Isabelle, how would this impact her? It's not fair to her." I grunt. "Plus, I don't know if I am the mom, stepmom type." I shrug.

"I'm calling bullshit." She retorts.

I roll my eyes. "Fine. You got me." I confess. "I would treat her like my own, get too attached and then something bad will happen."

"Why are you so convinced something bad is going to happen?" she asks.

"How do you know there won't?" I rebuttal.

"You're right." she says plainly. "Something bad might happen."

I lift my eyebrows up to say, see!

"But something so amazing might come from it too..." she adds letting her comment ruminate in the air.

*_*_*

The rest of the evening, Kacey and I ordered food, which would have fend off any potential hangover, but then we drank more wine. She left about 20 minutes ago, leaving me alone at 9:00 on Saturday night.

I lay on the couch and scroll through Instagram before I get a text from Kacey. Opening it up, I see she sent me youtube link. I automatically roll my eyes as I see the song she sent me.

I click on the link and Celine Dion's version of "It's all coming back to me now" begins to play. I hate to admit it... but the lyrics hit me hard.

When I hear this song I think about a relationship filled with a love so consuming that it almost ruins them. Then the second they are in each others presence or anything physical is involved, they are no longer in control and they give up themselves to each other, time and time again, no matter how many times either of them gets hurt.

Not only is this song cheesy as hell, but it makes me think of Alex. I mean that's fucking scary right?

What I feel for Alex scares the shit out of me.

He hasn't even been back in my life for very long and he has me spinning.

And my poor vagina— I've been blaming her for my weak resolve when I find myself getting physical with Alex. But I know now, it's not all her fault... the new culprit: my heart. 

*_*_*

My eyes flutter open and I am greeted with a white ceiling, a cold hard floor, and a porcelain throne right next to me.