Chapter 10: No!

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"No!" I screamed as I shot up in bed. I was covered in a sheen of sweat as I tried to get my laboured breathing under control. Tears poured from my eyes as I once again dreamed of the same green-eyed boy who had I had to leave. The same boy who I gave my heart to.

Aiden burst into the room and saw my disheveled state. He immediately stepped forward but I couldn't do it. Not today. I jumped up from bed and pushed past him, running to the garage. He called after me but didn't come after me which I was thankful for. I headed straight to my car, ignoring the yells of the boys behind me and peeled out of the garage. I drove out with no destination in mind. I just needed a place to cool off. I kept driving at insane speeds until I saw a overgrown path that led off from the main roads. I parked my car and got out the bottle of Vodka from the hidden compartment. I know what others might say. 'Aren't you a little young to drink that?' or 'Are you trying to be an alcoholic?' or the famous 'You shouldn't run from your problems and neither should you drown them with alcohol.' But right now, I need this. Else I'll break.

I wandered down the path, occasionally stumbling over a root, but I continued anyway. I soon broke out of the ring of trees and stumbled into clearing in front of a cliff. I made my way to the edge and peered down at the rocks that looked like they could kill me with one misstep.

I decided that I was not ready to die and scooted away from the edge and sat down on the ground, stretching my legs out as I let the memories wash over me, taking a swig from the bottle every time the sound of a gunshot or a blow echoed in my mind. I put the bottle away when I started feeling a little light headed. I looked up at the stars and remembered the time he taught me about them.

"You see that star? The one that's brighter than the rest? That's Proxima Centauri. That one is the Big Dipper." He pointed above him at a cluster of stars. She followed his hand as he pointed out the different constellations he had learnt about from his mother.

"They're beautiful." I murmured as I followed the lines, listening to him go on and on about something he was passionate about. He cut himself off midway as he glanced at her with a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, I started rambling again." He whispered sheepishly as he turned his head towards her.

"It's okay. I like it when you ramble." I replied smiling at his expression as she felt herself fall head over heels for him. I turned her head and their lips were millimetres away. Her breathing stopped. He locked his eyes with hers and it flickered down to her lips. I grew light headed as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, tentatively, giving her time to pull back. But she leaned forward and deepened it, her hand going to his cheek as their lips continued the dance they were in.

A sob wrenched itself out of my chest as I cried over the boy I loved. The boy who became my everything. The boy who forced me to leave as he bled out on the floor. The boy whose last words to me were, 'I love you.' The boy who took my heart with him as he died. I also cried for his brother. The boy I swore to protect. The boy who died in the hospital because of a brain aneurysm. I cried over the brothers I couldn't save. The brothers who were my family when my own family failed me.

I rocked back and forth as my sobs echoed through the quiet night. In that one night I had lost both my best friend and the love of my life. It was so unfair. But complaining of unfairness gets you nowhere. My tears were gone. I don't think I could cry anymore. I got back to my feet, stumbling a little due to exhaustion and the alcohol and made my way back to the car.

By the time, I reached the car, I had sobered up a lot and it was safe enough to drive. I knew it was reckless but if I called anyone, they would just scream at me and I was not in the mood for it.

I drove back to the mansion, remembering the way to the cliff so that I could come back. I went slowly, dreading going back. I knew that they would immediately smell the alcohol on me but at this point I couldn't care less. 

I pulled into the garage and made my way into the house. As soon as I stepped foot inside the house, I was engulfed in a hug by a few people making me stumble back. They all drew back with relieved, furious and confused expressions on their face. Before they could open their mouth, Aiden stepped forward and wrapped his arm around me as he led me past them. I could feel him shake his head imperceptibly at their questioning glance as he took me to my bedroom. I did whatever he wanted me to do without a peep, feeling like a lost puppy now more than ever. He tucked me into bed and kissed my forehead and I felt myself drift off. I hope that this time I'm not plagued by the nightmares. I knew I would regret drinking in the morning was the last thought in my mind as I fell asleep.  

Thursday update my lovely readers! Things are going to hit the roof soon. Stay tuned for a lot more drama.

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Edit: Shit! Shit! Shit! I typed this out and forgot to publish it. I'm such an idiot.

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