Chapter 13

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We didn't stay in Italy any longer, Vasily got plane tickets for the next flight out, and frankly I didn't want to be here any longer.

We went back to the hotel and got our bags before leaving, we were gone in less then 5 hours.

My phone constantly ringing and chiming as family and friends try to contact me.

Never had I ever wanted to not be part of my family, I didn't want to talk to them, text them, or see them, ever. Truth be told we were all messed up, we may have each other's backs but all we did was talk shit about one another behind each other's backs.

None of them were going to do anything when Kristen tried to attack me, none of them liked me right now and I was the one everyone liked.

What hurt most was my dad cheated on my mother, I may not have been alive when it happened but the many times I was cheated on, I talked to him about it, he always played innocent and told me that men who cheat don't see the worth in a women.

So of course I would think, he didn't think my mother had worth, the women who I represented, who I mirrored every day of my life. We were alike in so many ways, our personality's were like a copy and paste with no error, anyone would mistake me for her.

So was I not worth it in his eyes, was I not worthy of his love.

I hate cheaters, they do without thinking and they didn't think of others, they don't think about how they could hurt other people and that's not okay.

The same man who taught me to know my self worth is the same lier who promised my mother with his vows that he would stay faithful.

Now I hated him because he always spoke with so much love about my mother, now I was doubting all men together, I didn't know what Vasily and I were, last time we were in New York he basically called me his girlfriend but it isn't something official, I didn't really remember the words coming out of his mouth.

Sitting in the room alone, Vasily had to do something and he apologized for having to leave me at a time like this but duty calls.

I just cried, I couldn't stop, laying in the room cuddling with Bear, he was the only comfort I had, it reminded me of when I was a kid.

My aunt always have to work a lot and I would feel so alone that I would just hug my pillow and cry myself to sleep, crying more as I beat myself up and tell myself that I had no reason to cry, there were people with bigger problems then me and her I was crying over feeling lonely.

Most of the time it was because of a new heartbreak, I always got into a new relationship to try forget the old one and when there was no other guy to date all those guys I had gotten close to, all the pain they left behind would come back all together.

This felt worst then those times, just knowing that he did that.

Eventually no tears where able to be shed, no more pain was felt after a while and I fell asleep with my dog, waking when a shake came to my body.

"Yeah?" I moan stretching out

"Arina said you didn't eat" he moved my hair out of my face and I glance at the bedside table

We landed around four this morning and I was crying for many hours but I wasn't sure how much, it felt like forever but it was shorter, the crying took a tole on me with the additional jet lag and it was now seven at night.

I was feeling depressed all of a sudden.

"I'm not hungry, just tired" I rolled back over to my original spot

I was scared deep down, that I wouldn't be enough in the end and I was finally admitting to myself that I was in love with Vasily, they always leave when they know that have me reeled in.

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