Give Me Love - A One Direction FanFiction (ON HOLD)

Chapter 7 - Sew Your Heart To My Sleeve

CHAPTER 7

Amanda's Perspective

"Amanda, please let me in." Zayn's muffled voice came from behind the door, but I only ignored it. "Just go away." I threw a pillow at the door and buried deeper under the blankets.

I could not BELIEVE that they were talking about me while I was RIGHT THERE! I HATED how Zayn felt that I was his responsibility and that I had to be protected. That was a strong blow. I didn't want to be a burden on anyone, didn't want to bog anyone down with my sorrows. I just hadn't realized how I was affecting those around me until it hit me straight in the face. My problems are too big to be taken on by someone else, no matter how much it could help, and Zayn can't be the one to do it. Of all people. Not him.

Why? Because of who he is. And not only that, but because of who I am. What's a depressed nobody doing around a smoldering teen-sensation? Why would I have anything to do with someone like Zayn in the real world? This 'issue' is all because I was broken, and so was he.

But wait. Could that be an important key to our story? No. I'm too deep into my own problems that I cannot even fathom helping another from their own depths of sorrow, no matter who.

There are some secrets we must keep to ourselves, and mine is that I'm scared. I'm scared of people not liking me, of not succeeding, of being a burden, of my pain. I'm scared of...me. And NO ONE is going to help me through that, and Zayn can't expect it to be him.

"Please open the door, or I'll come in anyway." Grinding my jaw, I slowly walked over to the door and unlocked it, sauntering back to the bed and falling face-down. The door creaked open and I could hear Zayn's footsteps approaching the bed. "Amanda, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like your father. I kind of get the idea that that's what's upsetting you." he quizzed, falling onto the bed next to me. "But you have to realize that I WANT to help. I can see that you're hurt, and maybe I can help. Company is the first step on the road of recovery. I just-I'm sorry if I sounded overprotective." He placed his hand on my back but I only pulled away. "You don't know anything, Zayn. You just know that I have...issues. You're just doing this as a charity case, and I don't want to feel like a broken vase that needs to be fixed." I turned and looked up at him, meeting his hazel eyes. His worried frown melted away my pain for that short second, and I quickly averted my gaze, trying to stop the feelings that were bubbling beneath the surface.

"Amanda, trust me. If that is all you do. Trust that I'll look after you. Trust that I'll protect you from your pain. Trust that I'll be here." I curled up in a ball and stared at my knees, trying to become as small as possible under his gaze. "Amanda, please look at me." He urged, pulling my arms away from my face. I met his eyes once more and caught my breath, knowing that what was coming next was bad. I could see it in his eyes, I could feel the vibes. Bad, bad, bad!

"I really like you, Amanda. Through your pain I can see a happy girl. A girl who isn't afraid to laugh or tease. A girl who is my exact polar but somehow my equal. A girl who I want to come out from hiding behind her sadness and step into the light that she truly should be in. Please, come out of hiding."

His eyes pierced my own and my irregular heartbeat worried me. No, feelings for people are not permitted. Feelings turn into something more and something more turns into...heartbreak...

I lost my train of thought as his eyes searched my soul. "Zayn...I...can't..." I whimpered as he drew closer. Of their own accord, my eyes fluttered shut as his lips stopped a breath apart from my own. "Let me help you." He murmured against my lips, making them tingle with each brush. "No." I replied wearily. "Let me help you, please?" His words were barely above a whisper.

My fluttering heartbeat was making my head go fuzzy and disorientating me. Letting people in meant letting them know your pain. And - more often than not - they become the pain. "I can't." A tear slipped from my eye as Zayn's lips fell onto my mouth. Instantly, my thoughts were wiped away, leaving only one word in my mind.

Zayn.

Zayn. Zayn. Zayn. Zayn's soft lips against my lips. Zayn's strong arms around my waist. Zayn's soft hair in-between my fingers. For the first time in a long time, I let my guard down and let my sadness flow. All the things that had accumulated over the years flowing as tears down my cheeks, no longer of necessary use to me.

His tongue flicked my lower lip and I opened my mouth wider to let him in. My feelings poured into him as our kiss deepened and became ever the more sweeter. He carefully rolled so he was poised above me, weight balanced on his elbows.

Losing myself was hard, but opening myself up was harder. And I think that I had finally found the one who would accept me...for me.

And although I knew I had to keep my barrier up, that letting people in would only be disastrous, I finally gave in. I finally let myself fall.

Zayn's Perspective

Feeling Amanda's chest rise and fall beneath me let me know that she was human, that she was real, because the sadness and fear that I felt radiating off her skin tricked me into thinking otherwise. How could a person become so damaged, so folded within themselves, without shattering into pieces? I was scared that the wrong move would cause her to fall apart in a second. So I touched her gently, kissed her just so to ensure that I wouldn't hurt her.

Pulling away, I looked into her gorgeous green eyes and smiled. Shaking my head, I quickly moved off her and cleared my throat. "Um, I have to go. I'll be back later, maybe tonight. I have to talk to the boys." I told her with a small smile. Getting dressed and hugging her goodbye, I left my house, knowing I had to do something about my best mates.