It Can't Be Love

19

Taehyung's POV

When focus wavers, you need to find a reason to make it stay. I have both. Reason for wavering focus as well as the one to make it stay.

Not particularly wavering, but still, whenever I am free at home, the rooftop has become my favorite, and smile at myself.

Because I am not able to shake off the memories of the farewell night. Black boots, maroon dress, short hair, sparkling eyes, and that beautiful smile. It's all like tattooed in my brain.

It's been a week since the new session has started. Fortunately enough, I am teaching her class. Everything is just the same. 

But it has long been since the last time it felt boring.

I get to see her every day. It is a good thing she prefers not to miss classes. 

Dedicated student, she is.

"Tae, are you coming or shall we start without you?" Hobi hyung asks in a raised voice.

I look around, confused, at Bangtan who after weeks of planning, has finally decided to pay me a visit.

I had called them to the farewell as well but they were busy. I am not complaining, though.

At this particular moment, Hobi hyung is waiting for me to join them at Mario Kart. Apparently, I was too busy thinking about something else.

"Taehyung, give a rest please, at least for the time we are here?" Jin hyung says, irritated at my absent-mindedness.

"Give rest to what, hyung?" I ask.

"To your thoughts about her," Jungkook says, bored.

"I wasn't thinking that..." Lies.

I was.

"Keep the game on hold all of you. We have a matter here to sort out." Namjoon hyung says.

Not again, please.

Since the day Jiwoo left my house after panicking about something and I confessed having feelings for her to my hyungs, we have been to this conversation a hell lot of times.

"Hyung please, not again." I plead.

"If you want us to stop then just go, tell her," Jimin says.

"I already told you, I cant."

"The reason you gave is very unconvincing, you know that." Jin hyung speaks.

"It's not. It's a valid one."

"Why don't you admit Tae, you are afraid." Yoongi hyung speaks up.

Well, this argument is a new one.

But I won't deny it, it is partially true.

"See you don't deny it. You are scared of rejection." Yoongi hyung says challengingly.

I am losing it now.

"Alright fine. I am scared. Hyung do you realize that every time you bring up this conversation, you just make me more nervous with your arguments. I can't tell her and that is final. I don't want to distract her from her studies. I don't want to scare her away. What if I tell her and she stops speaking to me completely. And yes, I am scared of rejection. Happy?"

My words are greeted with silence.

"We did not mean to scare you Tae. And we very well understand your concerns." Namjoon hyung says.

"But hyung, we can not bear to see you like this. Willing to speak but holding yourselves back." Jungkook continues.

"I am fine guys. I am sorry I yelled at you like that. It's just that I can't handle my feelings and I can't do anything about it either." I really can't.

Jimin hugs me from the back and says "It's alright Tae. But please let us know, we are willing to help."

We have a good time playing Mario Kart. I really don't understand our obsession with this game. It just started and is increasing like anything.

After 3 hours of back-to-back gaming, boys stand up to leave. Except for Yoongi hyung. He is sleeping so peacefully on the couch so we decide not to disturb him.

I return after seeing off the others to find Yoongi hyung staring at me while still laying on the couch.

"Oh did the sound of the door wake you up? I am sorry." I say sitting down on the other couch.

"No, you did not. I was awake."

I look at him and can tell he has something to say. Did I do something wrong? I can't remember anything though.

"Hyung, did I do something? Is it that bad?"

He chuckles lightly. "No, you did not do anything. I was just wondering if you would like it if I talk about that girl."

Even though I am suspicious, I am sure he is not going to scold me.

"Yes hyung, what is it?"

"Taehyung, do you really love her? Be completely honest."

"Yes hyung, I do." I am honest.

"You don't really fear rejection, right?" He seems convinced already.

"I, sort of, do. I don't know hyung, what exactly is stopping me. But I am afraid of something."

"Do you want me to do anything?"

Yoongi hyung becomes really caring sometimes. But I don't want to trouble him with these unimportant issues.

"No hyung, let it be. Time will sort out everything."

"Okay," He says, tone brightening a bit, to cheer me, I guess. "Do you have pictures of her?"

"Yes, I took some at the farewell." 

I show him the picture that we took when we were sitting after I handed her that award.

"She is really beautiful." Yoongi hyung says, appreciatively.

"She resembles you a lot, hyung. In behavior. Personality-wise I mean."

"Why do you think so?" He asks looking up at my face.

"She also closed like you are sometimes, not a sharer of emotions and she is pretty savage as well."

He laughs at this.

We skim through some of our old pictures on my phone.

"I'll get going now. It's getting late." Yoongi hyung says getting up.

"It is just 6 o'clock hyung."

"No Tae, I'll go. Besides I don't want to sit here while you clean all this." He says looking around and smirking.

Oh, God! I have got a cleaning to do now...

Yoongi hyung walks up to the door and turns back to face me. Then he does something unexpected.

He hugs me.

"Everything will be fine Taehyung. Just don't worry."

I wasn't actually worrying. But the little traces of anxiety that hovered in my head get flushed out as I hug him back.

"I'll be fine hyung. All of you, please don't worry about me."

And he walks to his car.

Yoongi hyung has his ways of making us feel comforted.

As long as I have Bangtan, I will never be alone.

I know that and I am thankful for that.

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A/n: Hey guys! Another chapter. It is more like a filler one. I hope all of my readers are fit and healthy. My wishes to everyone. Also, I just noticed. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 100+ READS ON MY STORY.

Please let me know through comments how are you feeling about this story. Like and share with your friends. Thanks for reading.

Love you all!