It Can't Be Love

34

Taehyung's POV

I slump into the bed as soon as I return home. It is still 3 hours to the next nearest event, that is, the afternoon party. And then there is farewell in the evening, a big claim on my energy.

I need to rest but there is something more important than anything else at this moment.

I pull myself up to rest by the headboard of the bed and pick up the letter I placed on the table nearby as soon as I returned.

Jiwoo's letter.

Let us see what the dread of parting has brought out.

Letter

My love, Taehyung

This is not a love letter. I just felt that I should say these things to you. So I am here. Penning down my feelings.

I am being utterly honest hoping that I can be.

The first time I saw you, in class 2 years ago, I was startled by your personality. I was disgusted at the way other girls treated you. I was confused as, why I was not the same.

I soon found out. The reason I wasn't like them was that I needed time. Just like every piece of art requires time to be admired for its true beauty. I required time to admire you.

I don't remember how or when my feeling for you surpassed the safety line and I started falling for you. 

I swear Taehyung, words can't fathom the depth to describe the amount of love I feel for you. Somewhere someone is really pleased with me. So I was rewarded with the honor to be the recipient of your love.

Thank you so much for taking me for a stroll on the path of happiness. The last six months were the best time I had in as long as I remember. 

You believed in me Taehyung. And I believed in stars. But the same stars betrayed me. My destiny was never taking me to you.

How funny this is. Like all those conventional love stories that I hated, we were in the same situation. I being the hopeless girl and you being the handsome boy. The only difference between them and us is that their story ended in happy-happy while we ended in happy-hurt.

You were wrong Taehyung. There is no such thing called happy hurt. Hurt is always painful.

But this is not a blame. I still thank you for the hopes you brought to me, the joy you gave me, and the memories you formed with me. Your every touch, your every kiss has left a permanent imprint on my mind that not even the time can erase.

I always said that I don't want to hurt you. I still say that. But maybe the next statement will hurt you.

Please don't wait for me Taehyung. Move on and find yourself someone worthy of having you. You are a great man and you deserve all the love and happiness in the world.

I will never dismiss this time I spent with you as infatuation. No. I loved you all this time and I will love you as long as I can.

Thank you very much Taehyung. For everything. 

You are the best thing that ever happened to me.

Yours sincerely,

Jiwoo.

End

I should feel stabbed. I should feel pained at her words. My hands should shake. My body should shiver.  But none of these happens.

I am sitting on my bed, holding the letter in my hand. A teardrop traces its path on my face and drips to the paper smudging the ink in the circle where it falls.