Quiet | Seungjin

8

*A few days later*

"Good morning, Seungmin." Mrs. Park said happily as the boy sat down in the chair across from her. After receiving a smile like every other day, she continued, "We have quite a bit to talk about today. I heard you had another episode?"

Seungmin's eyes widened before he shook his head as if doing that would convince her it wasn't true.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, things like that are bound to happen." She picked up the clipboard next to her and turned to a fresh sheet of paper. "I was also told you tried to participate in a group project?"

Crossing her leg, a small smile formed on her bright red lips. "Dear, I want you to keep making progress, but you can't jump headfirst into things like this. I think that may have triggered the episode. You over exerted yourself and you mind couldn't catch up fast enough."

The boy looked down at his hands, which were littered with dark purple bruises, all of them originating from two nights ago. He just nodded, still a bit ashamed of what happened.

"So this is what your mother told me, you came home from school and fell asleep for a few hours. You woke up in tears and—she said it sounded like you couldn't breathe, but you were thrashing around like you didn't know where you were?"

Not knowing how to answer, he nodded once again. He didn't remember much of the so called episode, but he did remember what woke him up in the first place.

"Let me hear that beautiful voice of yours, babydoll."

"I won't stop until I can hear how much you like it."

"I knew you liked it, I can tell by those pretty little cries."

The words echoed through his mind once again, causing a horrible chill to run down his spine. He brought his knees up to his chest when fragments of the night came back to him. When he woke up he was ten once again, and he was right in front of him. There was nothing there to tether him to reality, he had nothing to grasp onto.

"I had...a—a nightmare," he whispered.

Mrs. Park looked up from the clipboard with curious eyes, not at all expecting to hear his voice today. "Was it about that night?"

Seungmin could feel his eyes filling with tears as he nodded for the umpteenth time already during the session.

"Can I look at your hands?" There was a gentle tone to the woman's voice while she spoke, knowing all of this was indeed gentle situation that needed a lot nurturing. To her, Seungmin was an abandoned puppy that had lost trust in everybody, she was the one who was trying to rebuild that trust.

He leaned forward and held his hands out towards her. Placing her hands under his, Mrs. Park made sure not to touch him. She looked at the bruises on his pale skin meticulously, not leaving an centimeter of his skin unexamined. "How did you hurt yourself?"

"I...I don't remember."

"That's okay, dear," She reassured sweetly. A small sigh fell from her lips before she set the clipboard back down, "Can we try something different? I was thinking we could just play a game for the remainder of our session?" The woman asked, bringing a hand up to gesture at the wall where a book shelf sat containing board games of all sorts.

A smile spread across his face as he agreed.

✨✨✨

"Why is Hyunjin laying on the floor pouting?" Changbin asked as he stepped over the boy.

"He's upset because the boy he likes had to leave our group," Jisung clarified.

Hyunjin sat up and crossed his arms, "I am not!"

Jeongin sat on the floor next to him and pat his head. "Don't worry Jinnie, you'll find somebody to love you some day...even it if take a really long time."

"Aw c'mon guys, leave him alone," Felix said as he walked over and extended a hand to his friend.

Hoisting himself up, Hyunjin let out a dramatic sigh, "Felix, did I do something wrong?"

After sitting down at the dining room table with him, Felix shook his head, "we barely talked to him, I'm sure it has nothing to do with us." The younger boy took out his phone and smiled, "Plus, you have his number from the group chat we made. You should ask him if everything's okay." 

"I don't know Felix...maybe I should just leave him alone. Obviously he doesn't want to spend time with me." Taking in the boys disheartened expression, the younger watch as his friend gently laid his head on the table, followed by a quiet sigh, "...maybe I'm just not good enough." 

In the whole seven years he'd known Hyunjin, Felix had never heard the boy talk down on himself. One thing that the elder always advocated was self love and positivity towards himself, so this was in fact a rare sight. "Hwang Hyunjin, are you kidding me? You are more than enough for anybody you may...or may not have a crush on. You just have to show them how...absolutely magnificent you really are!" The boy exaggerated his words greatly so they could get past that thick skull of his. 

The elder only sighed again, "I guess so." 

Placing a hand on his friends shoulder, Felix shook his head, "No, you're going to believe it. You're not leaving until you say it with confidence." 

"I'm magnificent and I'm more than enough," Hyunjin muttered, his eyes fixed on the scratched wood tabletop in front of him. If he was enough, than why was this boy so against talking to him? Was he so horrible on the outside that nobody wanted to be in a three foot radius of him? 

A frown formed on Felix's lips, "Not even close, buddy, keep trying." 

"Felix...I can't." 

"What's going on?" Jeongin asked when he saw an irritated looking Felix and a Hyunjin who was on the verge of tears. 

After pulling out a chair for the youngest, Felix explained the situation, "Hyunjin doesn't think he's good enough because the boy he likes hasn't talked to him yet." 

"Oh my goodness!" Jeongin gasped, jumping out of the chair he had only sat in seconds before, "Jinnie, you are one of the most amazing friends I've ever had, and If I wasn't dating Chan...I'd definitely be going after you." 

Chan's head snapped towards the kitchen from where he was sitting on the couch, "Hey!" 

"Channie, shut up, Hyunjin's sad." 

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Thanks for reading, Lovelies