Addicted Damien (Sartori #1)

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Uncles

"Saoirse? How was it?" I heard Anastasia's concerned and worried voice from outside the small cubicle that I used when she obviously heard a thing dropped, followed by the unendurable silence.

Kinakabahan ako, natatakot kahit na sinigurado naman na ni Damien, pinaliwanag sa akin kung bakit niya nasabing papatayin niya ako pagkatapos kong magbigay buhay sa isang sanggol.

Naalala kong sinabi niyang hindi niya magagawa iyon, hindi niya ako sasaktan, hindi niya ako papatayin, at ayaw niyang matulad kaming dalawa sa mga magulang niya. Pero anong gagawin niya kung gano'n? Itatago niya ako? Hindi ba ay uutusan din naman siya ng kanyang ama na patayin ako? Katulad ng nangyari sa kanyang ina. Paano kung hihilingin din ng ama niya na magkaroon ng tatlo o apat na apo?

Wala na akong maintindihan sa mga pumapasok sa isip ko, alam ko namang hindi ako papatayin ni Damien katulad ng sinabi niya, pero nag-aalala pa rin ako, natatakot, at nahihirapan.

Look how I could see things differently today from before. Did I just tell Damien before that I would not let him impregnate me? Why, I just had eaten my own words and swallowed it down to its burial, erased through decaying. In all decisions that I had forgotten, why this? It was too much, too risky, distressing and sickening.

Too late that I would not bother to regret it. Honestly, I did not regret it, perhaps, I just did not like the idea of getting pregnant in the middle of crisis, not financially because I knew that Damien had a boatload, truckload, shipload of money, whether it was euro, pesos, yen, dollar, british pound and name it all. But because of the situation, condition, circumstances, by happenstances, what such coincidence and uncertainties. It was all complicated, and bearing Damien's child just worsened it, amplifying the problems once and for all.

However, I did not blame the child. I was talking about myself and how blamable and responsible I was for this. It was not the innocent who had faulted, it was me, and I ought to correct it, even if I had no chance to do so. I would try.

With the absence of mind to my entourage, I had gathered and fixed myself, coming back to life, before opening the restroom cubicle door, leaving the pregnancy test unmoving on the cold tiled floor. I would not need it anymore, I had no plans on telling Damien about my condition, and that I was bearing his child.

Admittedly, he had the fastest sperm ever. How come there had not been an accident before? Accident of getting one of his women pregnant, because I knew that he had used contraceptives before, not just him, but also his women to assure themselves that they were both safe to do the thing without disruptions after a few weeks of doing it.

Later on, just as I opened the door, Anastasia came rushing in, seemed excited to know about the latest news, erupting me from my thoughts.

"What happened to you? You look like you just swallowed a glassful of semen!" she exclaimed with worry pooling in the expression of her face, uncensored with her choice of words.

Bakit magtataka pa ako? Noong una ko kasi siyang nakilala, ang seryoso ng kanyang mukha, walang kabuhay-buhay ang kanyang mga mata at tila ay may tinatago siya sa likod ng kanyang napakagandang wangis.

"Anastasia—"

"Where is it?"

Alam ko kung ano ang tinutukoy niya at hindi ko napigilan ang pagbaba ng paningin ko sa sahig, kung saan hanggang ngayon ay naroon pa rin ang pregnancy test na nabitiwan ko kanina.

When I tore my gaze off the thing, I found Anastasia's eyes following it.

"Bumalik na tayo, baka hinahanap na tayo," I took her arm with one hand and tried to pull her out with me, but she resisted, and insisted of staying for a minute or two. I sighed in relinquishment, releasing her arm. "Hindi na importante 'yong resulta, Anastasia."