I Always Smile, But Is It Always Real?✅

part 13

Minho ran to his room and started crying uncontrollably.

Break down ahead:

Minho pov:

What was I even thinking. I should probably slap myself for this.

He slapped himself

"For hoping that my brother would understand me" with that he slapped himself again with greater strength.

"For being a loser, a useless piece of shit" he slapped himself for the third time.

"For being a burden, a disappointment to everyone" the last one really hurt a lot.

His cheek was red and pained a lot.
He grabbed his hair and started screaming silently. He kept on crying while digging nails into his skin.

Two hours had passed.

He weakly walked into the balcony. It was really cold he was shivering. He just wanted to numb the pain he was feeling inside his heart.

There was a shattered glass on the road a huge one. "Yeah shattered just like my heart" chuckled Minho weakly.

??? Pov :

"I am sure that he doesn't mean any of it. But Minho, I am not sure about him"

He came to a conclusion that Minho would have believed Taeyong's words.

"It is the perfect time, he doesn't have anyone else to lean on" he thought.

Before he could think more he heard something. He immediately looked up to see Minho walking into the balcony.

He made an eye contact with him. He knew that Minho would be too absorbed in self hatred to think rationally. He knew what he was about to do next was horrible, but that wasn't going to stop him. 

"Do it Minho, punish yourself " said the other boy. Minho had always punished himself everytime he felt guilty. Minho did it on his own, not because someone told him to. 

But this time he wanted Minho to do more than just slapping himself till his cheeks turn red and digging nails into his skin. They were too small for this situation.

"You know what you have done right, so punish yourself"

Minho wasn't in his right mind. He silently obeyed the other.

Minho pov:

Slapping myself, is too light. I deserve something painful very painful.

His eyes fell on the blade, and he grabbed it. His mind was filled with guilt and self hatred. He wanted to lessen it.

"I will do it" said Minho and picked up the blade and looked it the mirror.

"This is what I deserve" said Minho.

Self harm guys: 🚨🚨

He made 4 cuts. Not too deep but deep enough to hurt like shit. He could pass out any second due to the exhaustion. He washed them under warm water it hurt but it was making him feel better.

After that he passed out. On the hard bathroom floor.
✅✅✅

Next day:

He woke up. His body was aching like hell. He looked like a zombie but he didn't care at the moment.
He just bathed and wore an oversized hoodie with long sleeves and a mask. He just combed his messy hair a bit.

He went down and ate a little bit of bread 🍞 and left to the cause of his misery. School.

He walked to the school feeling totally dead. He reached the school and walked in through the gate. Many could not recognise him because he was literally the happy, weird, idiot generally .