Edge of Midnight

25

He didn't come home and she didn't sleep. It was seven in the morning when their front door opened and she launched herself off of the steps up to the second level of the house and she planted herself into his body. 

"Steph?" He asks.

"Don't you ever, do that to me again do you hear me. Ever. I hated every minute of it." She states.

"I'm sorry. I needed to blow off some steam so I went to a bar and then I went to a hotel." He sighs.

"Did you sleep with someone else?" She asks her lips wobbling.

"No, I promise. I didn't." He shakes his head. 

"I hated that. I didn't even sleep at all last night." She shakes her head.

"Well, you're not going to get any sleep either. Layna will be up in an hour and I've gotta go to work." He explains pulling away from her, but then he stops and places his hands on her shoulders. "Stevie, I want another baby. I want another baby and I want you to take some time off." 

"Lindsey." She warns.

"Listen to me. Elayna is four. And I know you've sworn off having a child, but she'll be five in four months. You are five years older than your brother. Your parents had another baby to straighten you out because you were so spoiled according to your father. And our child is just as bad as they claim you were. She's a spoiled rotten princess who gets everything she wants. And I know it's because you feel bad that you're gone a lot." Lindsey states and her eyes go wide. How did he know that. She hadn't told anyone but Lori that.

"How did you know that." 

"Stevie you wrote it in your journal and you left it on the counter one morning and I tore a piece of paper out to make a grocery list. I didn't read it I  just saw the words I'm always gone away from her and I hate that so I buy her things." He explains.

"You read my journal. How could you read my journal." Stevie gasps.

"I didn't read your damn journal." 

"You just admitted that you did...How could you go through my personal property like that!" 

"Personal Property...you said that everything in this house was just as much mine as yours. I just wanted a fucking piece of paper." He growls.

"Yeah but I don't go through the papers in your office." She spits.

"I didn't go through it I just opened to the next empty page to rip it out and make a grocery list...I no, I can't...I've gotta go to work. I just came back to change my clothes anyway." He pushes past her and goes up the stairs. 

***

As Stevie was sitting on the couch, watching Elayna's cartoon of choice-The Flintstones-with Elayna at her feet playing with her toys she noticed it was the episode where Wilma has Pebbles. Almost as if life was trying to haunt her. But it got her thinking. Thinking about the little baby that she grew and got to be super close with for almost nine months. She started thinking about what it was like when Elayna would move around within her and kicking and moving. How wonderful it felt the moment that she was laid on her chest and for the first time in nine long months, Stevie got to see her sweet face and kiss her and love on her. Then it hit her right in the face, Elayna was going to kindergarten in a few short months. 

"Elayna," Stevie says after a moment.

"Yeah, Momma?" She asks.

"Grab Binky and come sit with me," Stevie demands. 

Binky was her stuffed owl that she's had since she was a newborn. Elayna collected the owl in her arm and she walked over to Stevie and crawled up on the couch with her. Stevie was sitting against the arm, her legs tucked up under her and over to the side so Elayna just crawled over them and sat herself infront of Stevie's hip next to the arm of the couch and she flung her legs over Stevie's and cuddled into her mother's chest. 

Stevie just held her for a little bit and then she took in a breath and kissed Elayna's temple.

"How would...if mommy and daddy had a talk and decided that they wanted to give you a little brother or sister what would you think about it?" Stevie asks.

"What would I do with a brother or a sister?" Elayna asks.

"Well, after about two years, you'd get to play with them and you're old enough that you could help mom and dad feed them, you could cuddle with them," Stevie explains.

"Am I getting one?" 

"Well I don't know...that's why mommy and daddy have to talk about it, but even if we decide to give you one, it won't be for a while anyway." Stevie sighs hugging her tightly and just holding her to herself.

"Why a while?" 

"Well, it'll have to be after mom comes home from work so after Christmas, and then, once the baby is on the way it'll have to take nine months to grow in momma's belly and then we'll finally get to have them at home." Stevie tries to explain.

"Why in your belly and how does it get there?" 

"A seed sweetheart," Stevie just rolls her eyes. She didnt' want to be having that conversation yet. 

"Do you swallow it?" 

Stevie thinks about it for a moment and then she raises an eyebrow. "Yeah, you could say that. But it's a seed that only daddies can give mommies. So you won't have access to it until your 35." Stevie points out, simply because she was 35 when she became a mom. 

"That's so far away..." She whines.

"I know," Stevie chuckles kissing her cheek. She wanted to say not far enough but she kept it to herself and that's when it really hit her that her daughter was growing up right before her eyes and she was missing it while she was on tour and she knew, right then and there that after the tour, she was going to go on hiatus. The truth of the matter was, it was going by too fast and it caused tears to well up in her eyes. 

"Why you cryin momma?" 

"Nothing sweetgirl, it's alright. Do you wanna help momma make dinner?" 

"Okay!" Elayna cheered clambering off her mother's lap, but Stevie grabs her arm. 

"What momma?" 

All Stevie does is takes her into her arms and gives her, her best mama bear hug.