bloody purple roses (asanoya)

blood

it was after all the drama with my mom, and i had to find something from my school bag, looking for it. if your curious what the think was, it was a pencil. i felt like doing a bit of drawing, but i couldn't find my pencil case, so i took everything out of my bag to find it. oh my god there's so many snack wrappers in here! i clean all the trash in my bag out. usually i dont mind it, but this is unreal. there was about enough to fill half of a small trash can! i take out EVERYTHING to find it, including my pills. ill just put them back in after im done. i  decide to draw a landscape, and it takes me about half an hour to do. i forget about everything that happened, and just get lost in my sketch. i dont ink it, since i dont need to erase anything, and i just do it in pure pencil. i always enjoy doing this. 

the landscape is mostly blank, telephone poles along a deserted path, long overgrown grass, swaying in the wind, trees littering the field every here and there, mountains in the background, giving it a feel, that this place is really far out in the country. it turns out pretty good really. i snap a pic and post it on ig, and clean up the mess i made looking for my pencil case. one thing i dont tell people, i have 2 accounts. one is my personal account, and the other is my drawing account, which is a lot more popular than my personal account. nobody on that account knows my face, intrests, or who i am. im anonymous, and i dont have to worry about being judged. hell the only person who knows me, and knows about the account, is tanaka. 

i put what i think is everything away, and take a shower. 15 minutes later, (it took so long, because i listen to music, and sing along, sometimes forgetting what i was supposed to be doing.) and get out. i get ready for bed, and head on to sleep, but a nagging feeling in the back of my head is telling me i forgot something, but i dont remember what it was. eh, im sure its nothing. 

i wake up and get ready for school, seeing i left my pills on the ground, i pick them up, and get ready to take one when my mom calls out, "NISHI! YOUR GOING TO BE LATE!" i panic, and quickly take my pill, leaving after grabbing breakfast. i meet up with tanaka. "hey man!" he turns around, and he waves.

"hey bro! hey i saw that post last night. you did good on that!"

"thanks man! hey so my mom wanted to talk to me last night, and you know what she said?"

"what?"

"she told me she wanted me to get the surgery."

"what?! okay as much as i agree with her, its your choice. but seriously, spill! what happened?" i proceeded to explain to him what happened. he laughs, but its sad, and kind of hollow.

"i wish you would get the surgery too, but honestly, if i were in your position, i don't think i would get it either. im not one to speak." we walk in silence for a few minutes, and we just, dont say anything. were both caught up in our thoughts. me about if theres anything i want to do before i die, and tanaka, about how much he would miss me. "if you die man, im going to your grave every day, and leaving lillies. i know their your favorite." i look at him.

"bro..." i hug him. it means a lot to me. we arrive, and we were joking like normal, and we went and got changed. unfortunately, or at least for me, asahi was changing there too. i tried not to look at him, but i couldn't help it. i snuck a few glances at his body and my face was red as a tomato, but either he didnt notice, or didnt think anything of it. he left and tanaka started to laugh at how red my face was. 

"DAMN, YOU REALLY ARE HEAD OVER HEALS FOR HIM!" 

"SHUT UP! HE MIGHT HEAR YOU!"

"Bro, you need him to find out eventually, or your going to die. you literally cant be around him without suppressers."

"i know that, im just.. *sigh* im not ready to confess to him that i like him. okay? i will tell him, but im not menially ready."

"yeah i know..." we stay there quiet for a few seconds. 

"anyways we should probably get going!"

"yeah lets go!" we get to practice, and we get started. we decided that me and tanaka would basically do receives, and every now and then, tanaka would use that ball coming at him to spike it. when we decided to do that, i would return it so it was high enough for him to do that. we went like this for about 15 minutes until it happened. 

i missed.

i ran after the ball to at least grab it, even though it had touched the floor. i ran not looking where i was going until something stopped me. 

well... more like someone. 

i backed up, seeing i ran into asahi. instantly i felt the tingling in my throat and i tried not to cough.

"oh! are you okay noya?" asahi said i tried to respond, but i started coughing. he looked alarmed, and i couldent stop. i tried to run, but i didnt get far, before petals started coming up, covered in blood, it was a puddle of blood and petals on the ground, and i couldn't breathe. the last thing i remember, is asahi reaching out to catch me, as i started falling, suga and tanaka running over, and ukai, calling someone, probrably an amulance, and everyone trying to figure out what was happening. 

after that, everything went black.