Alice ✧ [a. karev]

13. laugh through the pain

tw: murder, physical abuse

Although Jade would've very much liked to stay in the comforting silence of that on-call room, her pajamas and her bed were much more appealing.

She did a quick round on her patients before stopping at a nurse's station to finish some last-minute charting. She was scribbling across the paper when Derek approached her.

"Hey, I heard about Austin. I've been looking for you all day," he spoke and Jade tried not to roll her eyes. He was gone and she didn't want to hear or talk about it anymore.

"He's fine," she told him, not looking up from his writing.

"He's not who I was worrying about," he said softly, tilting his head a little trying to catch her eye.

She looked up and a small tired smile crept onto her face. "I'm fine," she sighed.

"I'm always here if you want to talk. You know that, right," he offered.

Jade nodded her head softly and although she and Derek were nowhere near as close as they used to be she could still feel the brotherly love practically radiating off of him.

She stepped away from the counter and wrapped her arms around his neck because she felt like she was about to cry and she didn't want him to see her eyes water. He immediately returned the hug and she closed her eyes.

She took a deep breathe as subtle as possible before pulling away. "Thank you," she said sincerely.

He smiled at her, his eyes warm before he made his way down the hall.

The chore of getting changed, walking to her car, and driving home seemed almost too much for Jade. She wasn't surprised Austin being there drained her this much.

She was halfway across the parking lot when she saw Alex cross the street to the bar.

She debated in her head for a while about what to do. Her hand was on her car door handle but her eyes were trained on the bar, squinting every few seconds as she contemplated what to do.

Ultimately, her keys went back in her bag and she jogged across the street. Sleep could wait if it meant she could mend two of her most important friendships in one night.

She caught up to him just as he took a seat at the bar. "Hey," she breathed out.

His head turned in quiet surprise and his eyes met hers. "Hey," he turned towards Joe and ordered before turning back towards Jade. "Club soda?"

She shook her head, smiling at Joe before pressing her lips together and scanning the bar. She wasn't looking for anyone in particular, just plucking up the courage to start talking.

"Austin is older than me by seven years. His mom was my dad's first wife but they weren't together for that long," Jade started. So much for not wanting to talk about it anymore.

Alex put his hand up and started to shake his head but Jade stopped him before he could say anything.

"It's only fair. But that's not why I'm doing this. I want you to trust me," she repeated his words to him and he nodded once.

"Austin wasn't really a part of my life until I was around five. He ended up moving in with us when his mom left. She eventually came running back, obviously. Not quick enough" Jade continued with a small chuckle. The only way to get through it was to laugh through it. 

"My dad had already been hitting my mom by then if I'm remembering correctly. But anyway, they were both lawyers so they were pretty busy people. I was home alone a lot with just Austin and housekeepers. He tormented me that first year. Would lock me in closets, would slap me when I wouldn't do what he asked."