Another World

Chapter 15

I check the clock and it is less than 10 minutes until my train leaves, so I hurry to grab the the papers and then run to the station. Safely on the train in time, I realize that I left my umbrella in the lobby at Railroad. Hopefully I will not need it tomorrow morning.

The ride home is fast and I am so baffled over what just happened that I almost miss my stop. I spend the short walk to the apartment wondering if I should tell Liam or not. He is always understanding and supporting, but I am not sure how he can help me with this. He would probably say I should file for sexual abuse. I repeatedly rub my hands through my hair and over the stubble on my chin, trying to figure out what I am going to do. It was not sexual abuse, was it?

My phone buzzes just as I walk into the stairwell of our house. It is a text from Liam saying he is at the gym, and will not be home until later. OK, that gives me some more time to think this over by myself.

My dinner consists of reheated left overs from yesterdays pizza and a few sandwiches. I wash them down with a beer because it is just one of those days. After I put the dishes in the sink I go into the bathroom for a long and warm shower.

I let the water run down my face, trying to drain away today's events. What did the kiss mean? Was it just a mean move from him, trying to mess with my head. Maybe it is just some insane mind play that means absolutely nothing from Harry?

Harry. The hot water runs over my parted lips and I can almost feel the sensation of where he touched them earlier with his own. I try to picture how his eyes looked right before he aggressively kissed me.

I flutter my eyes open from under the pouring water and notice that I have a complete hard on. I curse under my breath and turn the water to icy cold, hoping it will reverse my growing erection. It do not, it only make the rest of my body freezing cold. I can not understand what is happening to me. This must must be a confused boner, like seeing your sisters boobs in the early teenage years, or meeting a super famous male movie star. I have obviously been attracted to guys before, but not in a sexual way. Alt least I do not think so.

I give up my useless attempts to let the water cool me down, figuratively, and turn it back to warm. Literally speaking, I was very cold. I only need a few strokes around my hard penis for a massive release. A loud gasp leaves my mouth as I come hard in the shower. I put my other hand against the wall to steady myself so I wont fall.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I feel a bit more clear in my head. I just needed a release to get Harry and everything confusing out of my system. I have not had sex in weeks, so I tell myself that any type of human interaction would have gotten me hard. It just happened to be Harry this time, it could have been anyone.

I put on sweatpants and a T-shirt when I get to my room. Liam is not home yet so I take out my guitar and start plucking the strings. I need to focus to remember the melody from my head and convert it into chords. There are no lyrics to it yet, I need to get the melody just right before I try to put words into it. And for that I need a much clearer mind.

Liam comes home late, it is almost 10 when I hear his key in the lock. I have spent a good hour in my room with the new song, and is ready to call it the night. We watch an episode of Suites together in the sofa before we both go to bed. It has been a long day for the both of us, mine longer than I dare to admit to Liam.

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The next morning I wake up with a growing anxiety in my stomach. I should be really excited about work, Louis and I have a lot of things planned, but I am dreading to see Harry. Obviously I will have to talk to him about yesterday. Maybe I can call in sick? I seriously consider to fake a disease and hide out at home all day, perhaps all week. But again, this is only my second week and Railroad and it would not look good if I do not show. I let out a deep sigh and get up to get dressed. I do not even have to open the curtains to know it is raining, the smattering on my bedroom window sill gives it away.