Hold me...no? That's fine by me

Chapter 17

It was late at night now. Janus' dad had made, well, basically spawned an entire feast for the three of them so they were all stuffed.

You could hear his father from the room next doors loud snores. Even the small whistles his nose made every time he breathed.

The blinds and curtains were completely shut but he knew it was a bleak cold night.

Janus' room was a sense of comfort for Patton. The lemon wallpaper always gave him peace upon his mind and he felt if you flopped anywhere in the room, you'd always have a soft landing.

Sleeping beside Patton was Janus. He laid on his stomache hugging the pillow, it was always a nice change to see. Though, all Patton could do was lay there, wide eyed, looking at the ceiling.

Still he couldn't escape that empty house, no matter how far away he runs.

He knew they didn't like him, he really did know. But...he didn't know they'd go as far as completely abandoning him. Just leaving him there on the floor. Did they even know if he'd wake up or not?

They were a cruel pair. But missing them was inevitable. Missing them was painful. Missing them felt stupid. They weren't even around before.

Why should he miss them now?

How could he?

Patton couldn't even remember what they looked like half of the time! Only their voices. Those cruel, ice filled voices that were sharper than the knife he felt in his throat whenever they spoke on those rare occasions.

"Are you hungry still?" Janus rolled over to face Patton. The smell of the feast radiated from his mouth with a warm tint. He could feel Janus' body close to his yet it felt far.

"I've heard your stomache growl several times since I woke up a few minutes ago," Janus stated, "Are you okay?-" He yawned, his light eyes drooping in the darkness as they became accustomed to them.

Patton sat up a bit, scrunching his legs close to his chest. Now that he thought about it, he still felt hungry.

"Come on..." Janus mumbled, gently grabbing Patton hand and leading him out of bed.

His pyjamas were messily drapped over his body and his hair was already scrambled around his head like a birds nest. It was slightly adorable.

He kept ahold of Patton's hand until they got to the kitchen. Janus ruffled through the freezer until he got two tubs of ben and jerry ice cream. Specifically, cookie dough.

"Here," Janus said, grabbing Patton's hands and making him hold the tub. The tub slightly weighed down on his hands before he sat down and put it on the table.

The two ate in silence. The soft glow of the lamp in the corner allowed them to see their food as the light bounced of their eyes, illuminating them slightly. The warm light tickled againest Patton's skin like the gentle caress of someones fingers on his arm. The eerie silence of midnight was beautifully cold and sang a deceitful tune of nothingness.

After a few minutes of the peace of night, Janus cracked it, "You've been off for a few days, what's up?"

"Oh yeah, I accidentally took a few days off of school, my alarm didn't go off and it was too late to school,"

"Not that...just...you've been acting differently for a while," Janus admitted, staring down at his ice as he burrowed through it with the spoon.

Twiddling the spoon between his thumb and fingers, Patton's head refused to meet Janus' eyes, "It's nothing..."

"Don't lie to me Patton...please," Janus begged a worrisome expression melted through his hard exterior with the drowsiness of the insomia, "I've known you for all our lives...if there's anything wrong....I just...don't want you to lie to me,"

Patton gasped lightly, as he looked back up at Janus whom decidedly turned away. "I don't....I don't want anyone else lying to me...." he sharply breathed in.

A stinging feeling appeared in his chest as those words left Janus' mouth. He knew those words, he'd heard them before. He knew that voice he'd heard it before. He'd used it before as well.

"I'm...not....ready.....to talk about it yet....I promise you....I....I just need time," Patton admitted, "A lot has happened and....I'm only just processing it supposed," He chuckled lightly as Janus looked at him.

"Alright...I believe you..." Janus told him as Patton met his eyes.

~~~

When the two finished their ice-cream, they both went back to sleep. It felt easier now. Even talking a little about it lifted even a bit off of Patton's shoulders. But...it wasn't enough.

The crushing feeling crumbled his shoulders beneath it and shattered his knees to the point his teeth clattered together.

Janus shuffled closer in his sleep, capturing Patton in his warm embrace. He didn't want to leave it. This feeling. This feeling he's never felt before. The feeling of being safe.

A few tears persistantly poured down into Janus' chest as Patton put his arms around his friend as well.

This was nice.

End Of Chapter. 864 Words.