Amasai Book

Scars

TW: THIS CHAPTER WILL HEAVILY MENTION SELFHARM, IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY IT, PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER.
((Edited because there were a lot of mistakes when I posted it))
Fluffy angst, with a happy ending ofc :)
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*11:37 p.m.  / Rantaro's POV *

The lock clicked open, Rantaro slid the creaky wooden door open, to meet his completely dark apartment. It was silent besides for the heater, that made a bit of background noise. He walked in closing the door behind him, He glanced around, his eyes not fully adjusted to the dark. He clicked on the lamp sitting on the side table besides the couch. It illuminated the room, and bounced off the TV screen, Rantaro could make out his distorted figure in the screen.

He walked towards his bedroom, he peaked inside trying to see if Shuichi was asleep.. the bed was empty and the sheets were scrambled onto the floor. He started wondering where he was, getting quite worried. He finally turned around and saw the bathroom light on. His nerves calmed, he walked into the bedroom not nearly being as quiet as he was before. He set his bag down and unzipped it, and started changing. He walked back out into the living room to turn off the lamp he had left on earlier.. and heard crying... he looked towards the bathroom, it was definitely Shuichi.

He rushed over and leaned up against the door.. " Hey. Shuichi, are you okay? " He asked calmly.. He heard what sounded like heavy metal drop, " Shuichi? " he tried again, Shuichi only responsed with his panicky breathe. He sat leaned against the bathroom door, he tried opening it but of course it was locked. " Shuichi please let me in.. " nothing but cries coming from the other side. He sat against the door for a little bit, he heard Shuichi pick up something, probably the thing that dropped.. he sat down, peaking under the crack of the door. Shuichi was laying against the bathtub and wall, he was curled up in the corner. Rantaro waited in silence.

Then suddenly it hit him. He knew exactly what was going on.

Rantaro stood up, he took the pick down from the door frame, and put it into the lock, the lock was clicked open like he had used a key. He slowly opened the door, Shuichi's cries got louder, they weren't muffled behind a door anymore. He met himself with Shuichi who was curled up in the corner, his eyes and face were red like he had been crying for hours.. tears beaded down his face. He seemed terrified. Shuichi sniffed and averted his eyes away from Rantaro, he kept them on the floor. He was in nothing but underwear, and held something in his hands. " Shuichi... hey it's okay. " He came over slowly sitting himself besides the other boy, who flinched and moved further away. It's been a while since he was so scared around Rantaro.. " I know what's going on.. " He said softly. " It's alright, please don't be scared, I'm not mad at all. " He stated quickly. He reached his hand over to Shuichi's that were clamped around an object, slowly he took the scissors out of his hand.

" I'm sorry I left you alone during this, I should have been here to help you. " Rantaro stated calmly, brushing his fingers through Shuichi's dark hair. Shuichi got a little visually angry towards this sentence. " it's not your fault. " he said sharply. " Can you tell me what's wrong? " Rantaro asked " It's okay if you can't.. but if I can help you I'd like too. " he gave a quick smile.. trying to lessen the tension of the situation. He didn't budge, he only sat quietly staring at the floor.

" Did you use them? " He shook his head, still trying to hold back tears.

" Were you going too..? " This made Shuichi fall silent, it hurt Rantaro a lot but he tried to stay calm, the last thing he would want to do is make Shuichi feel like he's angry at him.

They sat quietly for a moment, Rantaro was looking at the old scars on his thighs and his arms. Tracing them with his eyes, they went up to his shoulders and down his legs to his knees. The other boy saw him looking and tried to move away hiding his arms. Rantaro gave a quick sigh. " Shuichi. Please. I want to help you, I know what your thinking. I'm not judging you Shu. Please just, tell me what's wrong. " Rantaro was trying to be not too pushy, but he knew that Shuichi didn't want to talk. He honestly didn't blame him.

" It's stupid. " he muttered " It's not a good enough excuse to be doing this. " He looked at the floor again. Shuichi's nails dug into his arm, Rantaro gently pulled them away into his hand, " Dig them into me if you have too. " He smiled quickly and continued " Hey, your reason isn't stupid. There's never a 'stupid' reason. " he said softly.

" I don't even have a reason! " he said loudly " I-I'm just doing this b-because I feel like it, that's stupid, I'm ruining my whole two y-years of hard work just because I feel like it! " More tears flowed from his eyes..

" Yeah but I'm proud you didn't, you didn't do it.. Shuichi your still going and if you did, I have full belief you could easily get it again. Your so strong Shuichi. " Rantaro looked over.. " Look at me Shuichi."

Slowly he turned his head to Rantaro, meeting his green eyes.

" Your not a burden Shuichi. Me and all of your friends don't think that. At all. I love you so much, please never think that about yourself Shuichi. I will never ever leave you, I hope you know that. " He stated, his voice was still soft yet firm.

Shuichi eyes started to water and his face was red with tears, Rantaro brought him into a embracing hug. Shuichi cried softly into Rantaro's chest. Staying that way for a while..

After Shuichi pulled away there was a wet spot on Rantaro's shirt, Shuichi giggled softly still in tears. Rantaro laughed too. He ruffled Shuichi's hair, " Anything you want to talk about? " Rantaro said soothingly, " I'm always here okay? "

The smaller boy nodded. he didn't feel like talking about anything, he just wanted Rantaro to quit worrying. " I'm taking off work tomorrow. " Rantaro stated out of the blue " Thought that would make you feel better. " He grinned. It had cracked a smile on Shuichi's face. " Anything else I can do that will make you feel better? "

" Just being here is working.. "

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Notes:

1098 words
Date: 11/29/20
Completed: 7:48 a.m.