To The Bitter End (Bucky Barnes/ Winter Soldier x reader)

Chapter nine

It's a cruel, cruel world

No mercy left, yeah it's a cruel, cruel world

It'll break your heart and burn you down, down, down

Don't ever doubt that it's a cruel, cruel world

Oh, it's a cruel, cruel world

Cruel World by Tommee Profitt

The Red Room Academy

It was more of a prison than anything else; Towering, black stone walls adorned with sharp spikes, a barred, padlocked and guarded gate and from doors. It loomed over any surrounding buildings, dark and foreboding, like the entrance to hell itself.

What a lot of people didn't know upon entering it, was that they were essentially ending their own lives.

It was a dark place.

A place that had given over some of the best assassins of the time, whatever time it was. Days, months and years all blurred into one when you go on and off cryofreeze for decades. It becomes difficult to grasp, you gave up on it a long time ago.

You tried to hide the dread settling in your heart as you stare at the terrifying building before you, but it was extremely difficult. A cold shiver ran through your body, you blamed it on the cold wind that was swirling around you, despite knowing full well that it had nothing to do with the weather.

The black, iron gates remained closed as Karpov addressed the two men guarding the gate.

You felt an icy hand meet yours behind your back and quickly entwined your fingers with his, grateful for the simple gesture. None of the agents surrounding you would notice – or care – what went on between you and your soldier. But Karpov certainly would, so it was best to keep it quiet, at least when other people were around.

A grinding sound filled the air and you were snapped back to reality as the gates slowly opened, allowing you, the soldier and your escort to pass through into the walled-off courtyard.

The gates closed with a crash behind you.

The girls at the Red Room were all training to reach the status of Black Widow. Very few students had made it in the past and the number grew fewer and fewer every passing year. That's why you – or, more specifically, the Winter Soldier – was there. To assist with training and, potentially, heighten the number of students to reach the desired level.

The girls were treated like prisoners, handcuffed to their beds and under lock and key every night. The Red Room was not somewhere anyone asked to be sent. And for good reason.

You tried to hide your anguish at watching these girls, some no older than six, fight – and kill – each other without mercy. This wasn't training, wasn't teaching, this was torture, torment for the poor souls, both living and dead.

Somehow, those years you spent being tortured by Hydra didn't seem so bad anymore.

Under the moon, the sky and the stars, you watched as the dark building was framed by frosty light. No matter what light fell on it, the building remained completely black against the moonlight.

The wilted garden behind the building, dotted with gravestones and a few open graves, was the only place you could find another living thing. Even if it was just an old, drooping willow tree.

You placed one hand on the trunk and your eyes drifted up to the sky, the tiny, shining stars would have been a promise of hope for some. But it was only a reminder of how vastly small our world is among the universe, which carries on further than any of us can imagine.

"You shouldn't be here."

You didn't need to glance around to know who it was. "Why not?"

"Madame B forbade it, remember?" He came up beside you, the light of the stars reflected in his ice-blue eyes. "I don't want them to hurt you."

"So, you do care," You muttered in mock surprise.

"You know I do," He said, still staring at the sky. You felt his hand brush against yours. "I just hide it better than you."

"I don't want you to hide it," You whispered, sidestepping a little closer to him.

"And I don't want them to kill you," the soldier snapped, pulling his hand away from yours as you reached for it. "They think you're my weakness, maybe you are, but they will kill you if they think it's necessary."

You sighed, watching as a white streak flickered across the sky. Make a wish, maybe the gods will hear you.

A wish to be young and free once more. A wish to go back to those days when your worst worry was having a crush on someone who barely knew you. God, I wish we could turn back time.

You felt a hand meet yours and turned, looking deep into the eyes of the soldier, who was staring at your joined hands as though your affection fascinated him.

"I wish we could go back," You murmured.

Suddenly, his head snapped up and he stared hard at a spot just past your shoulder. "You can come out now."

You turned around as well and were almost surprised to see the red-haired girl who stepped out of the shadows, shuffling her bare feet nervously on the rocky path. Her green eyes flickered up to you then back to the ground.

You pulled your hand quickly away from that of the soldier and shot the girl a sharp glance. "You certainly shouldn't be here."

"I'm sorry," The girl said softly, still refusing to meet either of your gazes. "I just- I wondered where you were going and-"

The soldier held up a hand for silence. "We won't punish you, Natalia."

Natalia Romanova was one of the best students you'd seen so far. According to Madame B, her parents had been killed in an 'accidental' fire, which may have been not-so-accidentally organized by the Red Room.

You looked back at the sky, the thin crescent moon was just passing its highest point. "We should be getting back."

Natalia nodded hesitantly and followed you as you began the short journey back to the Red Room. It wasn't until you reached the small side door you'd snuck out of, that you realized the soldier had lingered back.

Your eyes met that of the girl beside you, having a silent conversation. She was the first to speak. "I can find my own way back. Goodnight."

You nodded your acknowledgement and watched as she slipped silently through the shadows and back into the dark building.

"I thought you said we shouldn't be here," You said mildly, stopping beside the soldier. Only then noticing the way the moon and stars glittered off the metal of his left arm, making the red star look even darker against the shining silver.

"I said you shouldn't," He didn't look at you and his voice was vague, as though he were still lost in his own thoughts. "There's not a lot they can do to me."

You nodded silently, knowing he was right.

The silence stretched out, but it was a comfortable silence, not weighing down on you as it usually did. It was peaceful, calm.

Curse Hydra for constantly snatching such simple pleasures away from you.

"I'm going to get us out of here someday," You vowed. "Or I'll die trying."