My Personal Trainer ( BWWM) [#wattys2015]

Chapter Eight

This is dedicated to anyone who has ever thought about suicide, as tried it, or has been successful in committing it. Suicide is never the answer and there is always somebody who cares!

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Ciera's Prov:

We followed my dad into the house. I knew he was extremely pissed off, and I knew why he was. I just hoped he didn't bring it up in front of Christian. We walked into the dinning room so no one would hear what we were saying.

"So why does she have a personal trainer Madison?" My dad asked my mother. There was another sign that my dad was extremely pissed. He only called my mother Madison was when he was pissed.

I watched as my mom gave out a long sigh. "Richard I did this because she's not happy with herself. She's constantly putting herself down, I thought it would be a good idea for her to have a personal trainer. Someone to pushed her to do better for herself."

"Yeah because the last time she did that it worked out so well." He said as he started to yell. I moved over so I was in between the two of them.

"Dad please not now." I said to him as I tried to calm him down. He gently pushed me out of the way so he was in front of my mother again.

"No Ciera were not going through another accident. You almost died the last time you went on a diet." My father said as be looked at me. He then turned to look at my mother. "And do you remember how it felt to find our daughter past out because she overdosed? Do you remember how she almost died? Do you remember how she tried multiple times to kill herself? I'm not going through that kind of pain again! I'm not putting my daughter through that shit again."

My fathers words made me remember all those times before now. How I tried over and over again to kill myself. There was even a time that I tried to hang myself because I was so sick of being constantly picked on and abused. I still felt like I had the same problems to this day. I just dealt with it in a better way.

I looked over at Christian to see he had a sad look on his face. I didn't want him to know about my past suicide attempts. I didn't want to be see as the fat girl who attempted suicide. People who knew this treated me differently then they would before they knew. I hated the sympathetic looks people would give me, and that's exactly how Christian was looking at me right now.

I could feel the tears falling down my face I pushed past my parents and ran up to my room. I slammed my bedroom door and ran to my bed. I cried into my pillow, I couldn't believe that had just happened. I heard my bedroom door open and close, and my bed dip. It knew it was one of my parents coming up to console me, and honestly I wasn't in the mood for it right at the moment.

"Can you guys just leave me a lone for a bit?" I asked them.

"It's not your parents." I heard Christian say. I wasn't expecting to hear his voice. I would have thought he would be in his room packing. Who would want to be the suicidal fat girls trainer? I turned my body and sat up so I was as far as possible away from him.

"What do you want?" He looked at me as if I was crazy.

"I don't want anything, I came in here to see if you were okay." He said to me as he moved closer to where I was.

"I'm fine, you don't have to sit in here with me."

"I know I don't have to, I want to. And I also know that your not okay."

"I am okay." I said to him defensively. But the truth was I was anything but fine. I was completely mortified , and sad. I didn't want him to know about that part of my past, I didn't really want anyone to know. I hated this part of my past, I hated being the suicidal fat girl.