37: Amnesia

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Without a second thought, I snapped Hwasa's neck. It wasn't enough. I wanted to destroy everything that she had become, to make sure she was never brought back, but there wasn't time.

I dropped to my knees beside Kai and pressed on the wound in his chest. Mentally, I tried to close off the wound like I'd done with Jimin, but Hwasa had used a small caliber bullet and it had done a lot more damage as it bounced around inside him. I didn't even realize I was crying until tears landed on my hands as I furiously worked to save him.

"There's no time," Kai said, lifting his hand up to cup my cheek. His breathing was already ragged, but it was the wheezing sound that accompanied each inhale that was the most concerning.

"Shut up! Yes there is! You just have to work with me." I slipped as I tried to haul him up and fell back down to the bloody floor. "Come on, Kai, stand up!"

"I can't," he said between painful, gasping, breaths. "You have to leave me."

"I won't do that," I sobbed. "I didn't come all this way just to leave you here."

"But that's what you're going to do." There was a finality to his words. A firmness in the sound of them. He wasn't going to let me take him.

"Kai," I begged. I shook my head and looked down at him, pleading with my whole body for him to keep fighting.

"I love you, Morgan. I have since that night in your apartment. I don't want to live in a world where you don't exist." He could barely form the words between breaths and even with me trying to seal the wound, there was more blood around him than there had been only seconds before.

"Do you think it will be any easier for me? I love you, too, dammit!" I screamed down at him, nearly beating his chest to get him to move. My sight was so clouded with tears, I could barely see but there was too much blood on my hands to wipe them away. "We can both make it out if you just help me."

"No, we can't. I'll only slow you down."

With his last moment of strength, he fisted my shirt and pulled me down to him. I kissed him with everything I had in me, tugging him closer as if I could pull him into me and carry him with me forever. His fingers wound through my hair, and I held his hand there as his grip began to loosen. When his body went lax, I didn't dare look down at him. I just kept my eyes shut to the reality that I was trying so hard not to face and pressed my forehead against his. It wasn't until I heard the sound of dress shoes walking across the tiles behind me that I let him go.

If my rage could have been a tangible beast beside me, it would have brought that whole facility down in seconds. But when I turned and faced the enemy walking up behind me, I wasn't prepared for what was about to happen. The fight left me immediately and the only thing left behind was sheer terror.

I hadn't seen his real face yet, but when I saw the man turning the corner by Hwasa's body, I knew exactly who he was. And all at once, my memories came flooding back to me. Reality shifted and I once again dropped to my knees. I was no longer in the hallway surrounded by carnage. I was in my room from two years before, looking at myself in a mirror with sirens blaring all around me.

"You must forget," I told myself. "Everything they told you to do, forget it. Forget who they told you to be. What they told you to be. Leave this place and disappear. For their sake. Stay away from them. Kill yourself if you have to, but stay away. Save them from what you've become."

I glanced over my shoulder. They were coming for me. I didn't have much time. I turned back to my reflection.

"Only if you meet him again can you remember. Remember so you can escape. Don't try to fight him. He'll only win. If they catch you again and take you to him...run. Don't hesitate....just run. And if you can't run, you have to end it. He can't be allowed to have you again."

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