Rabid Cur (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Chapter Six

"Anya I can't- I can't do this anymore," you said nearly hyperventilating, desperately clinging to your best friend as you came back to your quarters.

"Hey, slow down. What happened, are you okay?" she asked concerned as you gripped the edge of the bed. You were certain you were going to throw up any second.

"Pryde wants to see me again. This is the third time in like a week! It's getting to the point where he doesn't- he just-"

"Shhh it's okay. Just talk it out," she soothed comfortingly, rubbing her hand down your back in soft motions.

You take a deep breath and try to stop the rushing flow of tears that kept falling.

"I know I said I could keep doing this with him but it's never going to end. I'm never going to be able to escape him and his needs. I'm like his slave Anya."

"Look at me. This is not forever okay. You do not have to submit to him forever."

"But I do! If I want any life for myself I have to stay here and do this. I just am so tired of it Anya. So fucking tired."

She listened to you cry for the next twenty minutes as you let out every emotion you'd been trying to suppress. You knew she had work to do and you did too but it was so comforting.

You finally felt the rush of tears slow down to a trickle and your chest began to fall at a normal rate again. A soft knock was heard at the door as your stormtrooper EI came in unexpectedly.

"Miss General- oh, oh no. I'm sorry I'll leave," he said, quickly realizing how disheveled you looked.

"No EI, it's okay. I'm fine really," you tried to argue as you fix your messy hair quickly and put your shoes back on to return to duty.

He waited there quietly, silently observing as you finished getting myself together and Anya as well. You knew this was uncharted territory for him as his life has been comprised of training since birth of kill, kill, kill.

"Okay I'm ready," you said meeting him at the door. He nodded and as you started to walk back to where you were stationed for the day, you began to make conversation with him.

"EI, you won't tell anyone about earlier, right?" you asked him gently. He saw you at your weakest moment and he could easily have used it against you.

"Of course not. I shouldn't have even been there, I'm so sorry for coming into your quarters," he replied overly apologetic.

"Hey, you're fine. That's kind of your job now, I'm sorry I was such a wreck," you laughed.

He stopped right after you said that and turned his head anxiously.

"Miss I don't want to offend you but, I don't understand why you're talking to me like this. Or allowing me to conversate back."

Of course, general etiquette 101, never treat stormtroopers like normal people.

'No way was I following that.'

"Look, EI. Okay that's getting really annoying, I'm just going to call you Eli," you said, deciding to give him a proper name.

"People hate me. A lot. I stole a position from men who have worked years for it and I have skipped, I don't even know how many people who started at the same place as me."

"Miss I don't understand-"

"You will probably have to protect me for a long time Eli. People here don't get over things like this so easily. If I would've known Pryde was going to jump me this many positions I would've told him to fuck off," you griped, irritated. Your eyes widened as you realized what you just said about Pryde.

"Wait forget I said that. Bottom line is, you're going to be with me for a while and we might as well be friends. It's not apart of your job description but it would make things easier. So friends?"

"Yes ma'am. Friends," he responded, the word friends so foreign for him.

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"No you were totally in the wrong dude!" Kade laughed,

Him, Anya, and Eli were all in your room as you hung out together for the hundredth time this week. No one would bother you here in your quarters, so it was perfect for letting you all unwind. With Anya's convincing, you all eventually made it a routine.

"Nah man my unit is so much better than yours," Eli quipped back.

Eli was opening up more over the week and you were happy. Sure, it was kind of illegal of you to be allowing him to do all this but who cares. What good was your big ole position without using some of it's advantages?

"Eli. Don't you think you could take your helmet off now?" you pleaded. You had to admit, you were desperate to see what he looked like under his helmet.

Kade had been taking his helmet off for a while now. He had piercing green eyes and a mop of  chestnut brown hair. It framed his face nicely though and was a good contrast against his olive skin. The more he had been coming around throughout the past few days, the more you saw how well he fit with Anya.

"I'm sorry, I can't. It's just," he sighed. "It's not right. It's not how we were raised. And I don't want to risk anything to get me killed," he finished hanging his head low.

He was still so reserved and timid. It was kind of sweet, how he was so careful about everything. But you knew you were being overboard. He had spent his entire life doing just about everything according to the rulebook. And that wouldn't change for you.

"Eli, I would never let them do anything to you. You're my friend," you said trying to comfort him. "For that matter you're all my friends. If anything happens and you need help, I will be there. Okay?"

"Damn, why can't you be like this all the time? You're such a hard-ass in the field," Kade joked in response. You nudged him and you all cracked up in fits of laughter.

"Well she's a big shot now. She gets to go on a mission with ooo Kylo Ren," Anya laughed, making fun of how all the girls somehow liked him.

"Oh shut up! It's not like it's going to be enjoyable. He'll either not say a word or be a complete asshole. Lots of great options there," you replied sarcastically.

You moved up to your bed as you got more comfortable for the night.

"You know I don't even understand why so many girls onboard like him. He's so fucking mean and literally a killing machine. That's not really super attractive."

Then realizing that Kade and Eli do that everyday of their lives, you retracted what you said immediately.

"Shit I didn't mean it like that. I just meant he likes killing people that's all."

"Well shouldn't you enjoy that too?" Kade asked honestly.

You sat for a moment thinking about how to respond. You picked at your fingernails and tried to figure out if you should reveal how much you don't like doing that.

"Yeah well, I guess I'm just different or something."

You didn't like admitting that you were having conflicting feelings. It was actually the last thing you wanted to do but these were your friends. They had to understand, this was the basis of their lives too. Right?

You ended things for the night and you curled up tightly in your sheets.

'This stupid freezing planet was even making the ship cold!'

You cursed silently as you tried to get warm and comfortable before letting your mind start to wander.

Ren and Armitage and you tomorrow. In one ship.

'This would be fun.'