MEMORIES (Best Five Ever Series #1)

Chapter 19

"Hey here. Drink water," He said and handed me an open bottle of water. Kinuha ko iyon sa kamay niya tsaka ininom.



Sinisinok sinok pa rin ako. Nahihiya ako sa itsura ko ngayon. Halos manginig ang tuhod ko no’ng nakita ko siya, turned out it was Chris.



Buti na lamang siya ang naka kita sa’kin dahil umiyak pa 'ko pag-katapos no’n.



Narito kami sa isang lumang park. Wala ring tao dito dahil hindi naman ito gaano kilalang parke. This park was familiar to me but I can't remember exactly when I went here...



Ilan lang ang ilaw ngunit hindi naman gano'n kadilim dahil sa buwan...



Were sitting here on a bench while looking at the night sky. The moon was crescent it was surrounded by stars and some clouds that giving an aesthetic look.



Napaka ganda ng gabi... Parang walang nangyari, ngunit bakas parin sa’kin ang mga luha na umagos kani-kanina lamang. I thought that dinner was supposed to be happy, I didn't thought it will end up like this.



I looked down to the gallery book I'm holding right now and smiled bitterly.



I heard him took a breath, "What happened? Hindi ko alam ang nangyari sa dinner niyo... Nabanggit lang ni Bri kay Kier,  kaya sinabi sa’kin ni Kier 'yon..."



"Hindi lang kami nagka intindihan ni lolo...Ayon nagka sagutan kami," As I said that I felt my a tear fell from my eyes again.



"Hindi naman masamang ipaglaban ko ang pangarap ko ‘di  ba? ‘Yung pangarap namin ni Lola. Hindi na katulad ng dati si Lolo, dahil dati suportado siya sa pagkuha ko sa future ng architecture course... Noong panahong buhay pa si Lola," I uttered. I can see on my peripheral vision that he's just staring at me and listening.



"Nahihirapan din naman akong ilabas yung totoong ako eh, nahihirapan akong ilabas sakanila yung totoo kong emosyon. Natatakot akong husgahan nila ang kahinaan ko...Natatakot ako...They know me as psychotic bitch, but they didn't know that I have this side. Weak."



I smiled and wiped the tear on my cheeks. Jusme hitsura ko baga, may mga buhok pa sa mukha.



Bahagya siyang umubo at umayos ng upo. I froze on my seat when he slowly combs his own fingers on my hair and low-tied it with a hair tie. That's sweet.



I looked at him and mumbled thanks.



"Walang masamang tumupad sa pangako, hmm? Ginagawa mo lang ang pangarap mo,ang pangarap ng lola  mo. Hindi masama na maging totoo ka. Kung walang gustong mag-mahal sayo dahil sa totoong ikaw... Nandito ako sa tabi. Laging naka bantay sayo... Mamahalin kita ng walang hanngan...Iintayin kita..."He whispered.



We are now both silent again. Parang parehas kaming malalim ang iniisip. Delikadong sisirin, dahil napaka lalim..



I'm thinking about tomorrow. If I'm still alive or not. Yeah, it's weird but that person behind that black mask is always bothering me...



Bakit ganon? Delikado ata ako sa mundong 'to ‘no? Parang may dala akong kapahamakan.



He held my hand tightly, "You have asthma, right? Why are you running? I told you that you can call me anytime. Kahit pa hating gabi, hmm? Don't do that again."



I bit my bottom lip to suppressed my sobs. Bahagya akong umubo para itono ang boses ko at sagutin ang una niyang tanong.



I looked at him and turn my gaze again to the moon, "I run to die? Yeah, to die silently...Para hindi suicide ang kalabasan…"



He held my hand tighter this time. Iniharap niya ako sakaniya at niyakap ako. Doon muling nagsimulang tumulo ang mga luha kong kanina ko pa pinipigilan.



Ang sakit. Sobra. I cant still point out kung ano ang ikinagagalit ni lolo. Close kami ni Lolo 'e! Bakit biglang ganon? I badly want to ask lolo about my past but I want to seek my own answers.



Mas lalong lumakas ang pag iyak ko no'ng pikpikin niya ang likod ko para patahanin. He was tapping my back lightly like he was tapping a fragile glass that anytime can get more broke when he taps it hardly.



"If no one wants you to be with...always remember that you have me, hmm? You are my baby...I don't want to see my baby cries, hmm? It hurts me a lot," He said. Ako naman ay napatigil sa pag iyak. He stopped too when he realized what he said.



Baby?



Did he call me baby?



Do I know him?



Is he connected to my past memories? Agad akong humiwalay sa yakap at lumingon sa librong hawak ko. ‘Yung batang lalaki sa wallet niya is familliar to me.



"Can I borrow your wallet?" I ask and without hesitation, he gave it to me.



Kaagad ko iyong binuksan at kinuha ang litrato roon at ibinuka ang kalahati.I gasped. I felt my tears starting to escape from my eyes again.



It was me!



The girl was me!



I looked at the book again. After years passed, I can finally open it...



I turn my gaze to him and he just smiled weakly and nod which makes me even cry more. I've known him before...



Binuklat ko ang unang page at nakita ko ron ang sarili ko nong baby pa ko. Nasa loob palang ako ng hospital at buhat buhat ako ni mommy sa kanyang mga bisig habang naka ngiti.



That was the day I was born...



Sumunod naman sa mga kasunod na page ay si daddy. Si lola... Masayang nakatuon ang pansin saakin.Katabi niya sa litrato si lolo na nilalaro ako. Naroon din sila ate nanakasilip sa’kin habang malaki ang ngiti sa labi.



Lalo akong napaiyak dahil do’n. Sumunod na ay month old na 'ko. Tumatawa, nakikipaglaro, umiiyak, ‘yan ang mga litrato ko ron.



Humihikbi parin  ako at si Chris naman ay patuloy sa pagtapik ng likod ko at humihingi ng pasenya dahil hindi niya daw kaagad nasabi saakin. Gusto ko man sumagot ro'n na hindi niya kailangan humingi ng tawad ay hindi ko magawa dahil sa labis na pag-iyak.



Inilipat ko muli andg page, it was my 1st birthday. May mga picture ng mga bisita, picture ko habanag kumakain. Nakapaka kalat. Ang mga kasunod ay puro kami na nila lola



May nakita rin akong picture ko habang naliligo kaya naman dali dali ko iyong inilipat at napatigil sa isang litrato. May kasama akong batang lalaki. Tumatawa kami habang naka upo sa damuhan. May litratong nakasimangot ako habang siya ay idinuduro ako.



I was 3 years old at that time...



May nakalagay pa sa baba na 'The first time I make friends! He was so cute and a good person!'



I wrote it...

I can remember this place! It was Lola's old house!



Ganon rina ang sumunod na mga litrato puro siya ang kasama ko.Ang sumunod na nakasulat ay 'I promise I will not forget, Ian!'



I finally get it now. He was part of life since then.



I was confused. Ba't hindi ko siya maalala?



Dahil sa pagi isip na iyon ay lalong humirap ang pag-hinga ko dahil narin sa pag iyak.



"I-I'm sorry, I didn't remember you. Sorry hindi ako tumupad sa pangako. But I promise I will try to remember everything, hmm? Don't leave me. Please wait for me, hmm?" Halos sisinok sinok kong ani. Isinubsob ko naman ang ulo ko sa kaniyang leeg at  umiyak don. Hinagkan niya naman ako ng mahigpit.



"Hindi ako mapapagod hintayin ka, Mica... Iintayin kita kahit ilang buwan o taon pa ang lumipas para maka alala ka,hmm?"



I hurt him a lot!



Pinaghintay ko siya ng matagal! Ang gago ko.



Nasasaktan ko lahat ng taong naka paligid sakin.



Gusto ko pang maka alala at malaman ang punot dulo ng lahat.I want to ask him if what happened before. Maybe he knows it.



I'm too tired to carry my thoughts I want to ask but I was tired to ask questions. Gusto ko muna mag-pahinga. Kahit panandalian lang.



Pagod na 'ko. Nahihirapan na kong dalahin lahat ng sakit...Napapagod na 'ko.



I just felt my eyes slowly closing with tears coming out from them. I tried my best not to close it but I can't. I badly need to rest now...May mga pangarap pa 'kong tutuparin pero magpapahinga muna ako... Ako naman muna. Sarili ko naman...

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