hi,
I'm Jenifer
this is life, my beautiful fucking life.
life....shit is gonna happen.
it's gonna get complicated.
we're gonna replase. we're gonna need time- outs.
we're gonna be weak. and we're gonna be strong. we're gonna lose our shit and yell f...
this is life, my beautiful life. life....shit is gonna happen. it's gonna get complicated. we're gonna replase. we're gonna need time- outs. we're gonna be weak. and we're gonna be strong. we're gonna lose our shit and yell for people to get out of our lives. we're gonna break down and beg for some people to stay in our lives. some days we're gonna feel everything at once. other days, we're gonna feel nothing at all. we're gonna be in some bad spaces, and we're gonna be in some amazing ones. we're gonna get in our knees crying and hurting and begging for help. we're gonna get in our knees and pray just to say thanks. we're gonna have moments when we know exactly what we want, and we're sure. we're gonna have moments when we legit have no clue what we want, and we're confused. this life shit isn't a movie, and I think sometimes, we forgot that. my life is full of shit, because... everyday is just struggle. ya everyday stuck in my room and wondered...why...my life is like this.
TODAY I wanted to live a simple life without stress or worry. I don't need a lot of stuff. i juste want to happy.
my school is not far away from my house. my school timing is 8 a:m. it takes me just 5 minutes to walk from home to school. I don't take car because I don't have my car licences. I am just 16 that's why.
oh gosh...i forget to tell about shitty people.....! first understand about..my.... bully bullying isn't just throwing punches or calling names. they exclude you, put you down, belittle you, make you look and feel stupid, they will make snide comments, criticize your every move, slowly eat away at you until they will sucked away your soul. and I am victim of this bullying. every day school in just fucking hell.
and today my summer vacation start. I should be happy... but no.......I am not. because today my bully .... locked me in toilet... I cry silently so people don't think I'm weak. I don't like show my weekness to... shitty people. but....all I want right now is cry and scream and let it all out because it's killing me inside. but I hope.... nobody notice how hard I try to hold my tears. it's like I falling deep into an ocean of nothing. I am sinking deeper and deeper and I want ask for help but I feel no one would care. honesty I can't take it anymore . I am sinking. I need someone to help me gain my faith back before I'm sunken to the bottam. when I was in toilet...2 hours later. someone open the door... me stand up and rub my back. when I came out of the toilet. my teacher ask me ...who did this to you... and I shake my head...I don't know.... because I didn't wanted to mention my bully name....I don't know why...I think.. because....of..I am scared...ya...I don't want to show my weekness to anyone. if I treated them , the way shitty people treated me.... they would hate me.
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I'm coming home crying all the way..... but I hope nobody notice me. I kept my face hidden from the handkerchief. I'm wondering.....i don't understand how people are ok with themselves knowing they imotional ly destroyed someone....shitty people. and now I arrived my home.... and when I entered into living room I see my parents in deep conversation. and I don't bother to disturb them. I make my way to my room stairs... when suddenly my mom call out my name. mom- welcome home, baby. how was your day at school today. when my mom mention school name.. my eyes filled with water... and I don't bother to myself for replying my mom.... and I make my way towards my room... and slam the door behind me.
